What do you think? Should I use my new beard as a way to let JWs know I'm firmly faded and am not "discouraged" or otherwise planning on returning any time soon? Or would it be too strong of a statement and make the elders want to hound me? The memorial is coming up, and while I'm resigned to go yet again, it might be a good time to make a statement.
Using My Beard as a Fading Statement
If you've got a nice beard, why should you shave it? Keep it on.
You won't have to let them let them know, they will "No you have a problem".
Its supposedly a sign of spiritual weakness.
It worked for me...
Even when I was still making the odd meeting every once in a while, I had quit shaving. If I go to the memorial (which I usually do since so many family members beg me to...) I keep my current facial hair style and just let the dubs stare. I even let my hair grow long for awhile...that bugged people more than the beard.
I've had a beard or goatee for so long now, that people who see me regularly are used to it. But its funny to see the reaction of a JW I haven't seen in a long time when they see me. They avoid saying anything about whether I'm active/inactive/DFd/DAd. It becomes a taboo subject, but yet they know and you can see the judgmental look in their eye.
Seems we are compadres in the arena of Nazariteship (excepting, perhaps, the consumption of wild locusts, and ...).
I did not set out to make a statement, but, since the tossing of the razor coincides with my second year of official inactivity, it seems, nevertheless, to say something about me in the eyes of the JWs. The vote is split down the middle.
Funny how you don't notice a particular car till you have one (my next car is a ?). I now notice that a sizeable number of males in my community are facially hirsute. It sure isn't a problem for the "worldly" folk!
CoCo La Barbe
My nose ring prompted an elder to tell me that I'm not doing anything, in reference to teaching my kids about Jehovah. When I got my tongue ring, that just about clinched it. He was a judgmental sob. I was doing great with my kids and only asked for help from the elders because I'm deaf and couldn't help them in FS. Basically, they told me I was on my own. Yes, it sends a statement. F*** 'em.
If your faded, why go to the memorial? To me that would be like you have a pot of water bubbling and boiling on the stove, but you still need to stick your finger in it to make sure its hot. Like Mr. Miagi said in the Karate kid. Go left or go right but go down the middle get squashed.
I'm going to the Memorial because my wife asked me to and if my family finds out I didn't, I'd probably open up a lot of unwanted attention in the form of elders oiling my head and praying over me and whatnot. My fade is going fairly well and I'm not about to mess it up. Fading is all about walking a thin line, not going one way or another. You have to make compromises if you value family.
The first thing my husband did when he knew he no longer wanted to attend meetings was to grow his beard out. A witness he works with told him one day that he was starting to look "worldly". Mission accomplished! It sure does send a strong message. So I say let it grow baby!!! Lilly
I've always loved it when I run into guys I knew as a dub and they've got the facial hair happenin'.
On a positive note, it saves a lot of wasted breath, not only for the dubs, but for your fellow xdubs. :)