White vs Black vs Grey (Gray) (page 2)

tall penguin

As you realized yourself as a child, it's the parent's inability to say "I don't know" that causes problems for a child. Children naturally ask questions. They are cause seeking creatures. We all are. Where cognitive dissonance begins is when parents make shit up or speak with authority on a subject they no little about.

When I've been around children with questions that I can't answer, I will usually turn the question back to them before I comment. And when I do, if it's an opinion matter (which most of life is), I make sure to tell them that it's my opinion and that I don't really know for sure what the answer is, and that it's okay not to know.

tall penguin

5go

There is no royal academy of English that sets the language like there is for French or Spanish.

There really isn't one for spanish or french either. Which is why there is Cajun French and Tex-Mex. Though they were started because of mixing with other languages. American English spellings stem from the inability to spell correctly. Which is why aeroplane is spelt airplane in America despite the fact the most people in America still say it in proper English as aeroplane. But enough of this hijacking.

Leolaia

Spelling the word "grey" is no black and white matter. :)

coolhandluke

as most often Penguin we are in agreement. and thank the rest of you for your lessons in grammar. i'll be sure to mention that bit to this child as i explain to her that her mom isn't crazy, has good grammar and is just trying to explain away her fears.

GentlyFeral

coolhandluke,

the thing is that this new mom has recently become religious at the birth of her child. whereas before she did drugs and broke other "commandments". she now is closed minded and rigid. i understand that she's just afraid of not having answers to questions that her daughter will have.

I think it's more important that she - and her baby - get a thorough grounding in the Golden Rule than which mystical story she tells her child about how the world works. But it's hard to get that across to someone who has already closed her mind out of fear.

Maybe she could profit from the example of your life.

Maybe you could tell her:

Perfect love throws fear outside
If you cling to closely to any set of church rules, you don't allow God to CUSTOMIZE your life.

gently feral

Crumpet

Here is my question, spawned by a conversation with a new mother: Is it better to raise children in absolutes or is it better to raise them to ask questions?

Any parent who sets themself up as the ideal standard of what is right or wrong and being the all-answers-emporium is misleading their offspring.

We are all several shades of ghost grey/gray. We carry, whether we wish to or not, the spectres of our upbringing. We can choose to colour them in or remain oblivious and pass on that choice to our children.

To be able to see the whole spectrum of black to white is a gift we learn, if we are lucky and make the effort, as we grow, and one we certainly should pass on to our children.

The truth is no one is completely right nor completely wrong. I have yet to meet anyone entirely evil or entirely good. That's a constant disappointment, but it is reality. And that can be a bleak view or it can be a rainbow resplendent one depending on whether you look for the corpse or you look the pot of gold in that dimension. I say check out the corpse, sniff it - if it scents rotten, then it probably is. If the shiney stuff stands up to a bit of rubbing, then it is probably gold, retain it.

But I always keep the door open for I could be completely wrong.

And therein ends my sermon on the mount.

For now. I may have more shiney stuff or a couple of corpses.

jaguarbass

know nothing for certainty and really neither does anyone. We pretend to know things, we attempt to live in absolutes because nothing drives a human more mad than the not knowing. But dropping the illusion of knowledge is a freeing aparatus. Perhaps I'm off somehow but I don't think so.

Your right on. My feelings and thoughts.

Be very weary of those who have the answers. I found you cant necessarly smell them when people are full of shxt.

As fars as raising a chld. I took my son to the kingdumb hall until he was 7.

My wife kept taking him after I escaped till he was about 14. But I managed his baseball and soccer teams so he missed a lot of meetings.

I think by the time he was 15 I apologized to him for his experience with the witnesses that I failed to shelter him from. I always encouraged him to take school seriously and he did. And got himself a B/a degree and he is also an R/N.

I really dont know the answer to your question. I think a black and white materialist view of the world is part of the reason so many people are on anti-depressents and are alcoholics and drug abussers.

But I dont know which grey area to recommend. I think there are a lot of errors and contradictions in the bible but one of the truths may be that "each man has to work out his own salvation."

Hopefullly it wont kill him or her in the process.

I work in a jail. What I see is this. The officers and inmates that believe in God are more upbeat more desireable to be around than those who are atheist or believers in evolution, people who do not believe in God or a higher power.

The people that I have dealt with who tried to kill themselves, and are suicidal have told me they are atheist.

There might not be a god. I see when people think that way it makes them sad, depressed and suicidal.

So for some belief in God may be a survival mechanism, but it seems to work.

I just have major problems with the Watchtower road to God.

I would recommend a church that believes in prosperity and encourages education and achievement for its members. If a church is going to encourage you to be a doctor, or some sort of educated professional. Then givigng them 10% for the good direction can make sense.

Because if your chld doesnt get the good direction from a good church, he may be getting directions on how to buy and cut up heroin, or cocaine, or how to chop up a car.

If you want your child to turn out good or the way you think good is. You need to spend a lot of time instructing him from the time your child is born until he is an adult. And even then it never ends.

When you give up your number 1 spot of influence the vultures will move in. They are circling right now.

.

oompa

oho 5go...pleeze spanc me if mi speling iz offf a bit....luv u..ooompa

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

CHL---did you say 'snigger'?

I agree with you--believing that there were absolutes and that you and yours alone had possession of these truisms was isolating, making us elitists--few people could measure up to our standards after that.

I think that certain morals should be absolute, and the rule about not judging others and accepting others who live a good life while not harming others is a rule in our house.

White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

Share this