White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

by coolhandluke 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  coolhandluke

  When I was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see? But then I grew to find that there was only grey" ~ Anonymous character

  In the days of dogmatic reasoning I knew that I had the truth. As the scales fell off of my eyes I began to see all that I'd wronged in my desire to be right, for the Witnesses to be right, for my mom and grandma to be right. I was reading the bible for the first time with my eyes wide open, not to prove anything but to know something. Eventually I came to a place of nothing. I know nothing for certainty and really neither does anyone. We pretend to know things, we attempt to live in absolutes because nothing drives a human more mad than the not knowing. But dropping the illusion of knowledge is a freeing aparatus. Perhaps I'm off somehow but I don't think so.

  Growing up with a parent who taught me in absolutes made me an ellitist. I knew, you are wrong and I'll show you how was a code that I lived by. When the dust settled after my leaving, for all of his problems I respected my father most for his stance. He said to me, "Son, with everything I've seen in my life there isn't much I know for any true certainty. Here is what I believe and here is why." There was no absolute and I respected him for that. Mind you I was 24 when this conversation happened.

  Here is my question, spawned by a conversation with a new mother: Is it better to raise children in absolutes or is it better to raise them to ask questions?
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  5go

  BTW Grey is the correct spelling only in the USA is it spelt Gray. No really the USA has a lot of words spelled their special american way.
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  coolhandluke

  having my spelling corrected by you is an honour to be sure. i hope i've not made too much an arse of myself spelling it both ways. hopefully you'll not snigger about this behind my back.
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  chickpea

  i think your dad has it right.... there is nothing more certain than uncertainty, nothing more absolute than nothing being absolute

  people who cannot adapt their thinking to new ideas or information really concern me..... a blind adherence to dogma is a supply line for extemist behaviour

  How can I possibly put a new idea into your heads, if I do not first remove your delusions? (Robert Heinlein, "Life-Line", 1939)
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  5go

  having my spelling corrected by you is an honour to be sure. i hope i've not made too much an arse of myself spelling it both ways. hopefully you'll not snigger about this behind my back.

  Don't mind me I am just an infojunky. It is one of those things that so many people don't know. I use a name with the word grey in it a lot on other forums, and sometimes I get some American grammar teacher saying I spelled it wrong. No, I spelt it correctly though there are two recognized ways of spelling grey. I prefer the proper English spelling. Who cares anyway?
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  coolhandluke

  5go, i was joking. look at the spellings in all of the sentences. there is some brit spelling of a word in all of them
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  coolhandluke

  i agree with you as well chickpea. the thing is that this new mom has recently become religious at the birth of her child. whereas before she did drugs and broke other "commandments". she now is closed minded and rigid. i understand that she's just afraid of not having answers to questions that her daughter will have. but that is part of the human experience. i hated when i asked my mom questions and i could tell that she didn't know but made up an answer anyway. it pissed me off. i'd rather her have told me that she didn't know rather than essentially lie to my face. it made me respect her so much less.
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  Rebirth

  Wonderful post. I was actually thinking about this last night as I just watched "Gone, Baby Gone." For those who have seen it, they will understand when I say that life is definitely gray.

  Coming from a religion in which you are trained to believe that everything is so clear cut, it is only natural that the parents would train their children to think in this fashion. For myself, having experienced that type of upbringing and now raising my own in a "divided" household, I have made it a point to go out of my way to teach my children to use critical thinking skills. I've purchased the "Maybe Right, Maybe Wrong" series of children's books so that I can help my children to trust their judgment in making decisions and to respect the rights of others to feel differently than they do. I am constantly asking my girls to look at things through different perspectives. I feel that I am seeing success in my efforts and am proud of their openmindness and willingness to not accept what others say as gospel just because they hold a place of authority over them.
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  BurnTheShips

  BTW Grey is the correct spelling only in the USA is it spelt Gray. No really the USA has a lot of words spelled their special american way.

  Hehe.

  Gray is a color.

  Grey is a colour.

  I approve of the American habit of dropping useless letters as in the example above. I personally detest "Aluminium". The extral vowel on that version of "Aluminum" is about as repugnant to me as a foreskin would be on the penis of an Israelite to him. Noah Webster set the standard American orthography back in 1806. These spellings were set by him when spellings in England were still in a state of flux (but nearing the end of that period with the introduction of standard dictionaries). He is as good an authority as any IMHO.

  Language serves the speakers, not the speakers the language. "Gray" is acceptable in American English. There is no royal academy of English that sets the language like there is for French or Spanish. Thank God. Taking a majority view, America has more native speakers than the rest of the world put together. That gives us some say I think. However, the organic nature of English is what makes it the world's greatest language.

  Burn
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  coolhandluke

  rebirth: i can so very very much appreciate your viewpoint and method of parenting. good on ya