Part 2: OMG - I did it - I told my Mom and Dad how I feel... (page 3)

shopaholic

Good for you to tell your family how you feel. As difficult as it was I imagine that its somewhat liberating. I've been faded for almost 1.5 years and my family doesn't have a clue. Either they are extremely blind or maybe I'm a better actor than I think.

Hopefully you will be able to maintain a relationship with your family. It is difficult to keep your mouth shut but if someone choses to be blind, sometimes its best to concede to their wishes. One day, I'll have your strength and stop living this charade.

Best wishes on your journey,

Shop

Princess Daisy Boo

I really dont feel like I have progressed at all. You see, my kids are now of an age where they can talk about the holiday etc, and we do celebrate all the holidays so this is going to be an issue again and again, .

I am so frustrated by the closed minds that they have. It really and truly is like bumping your head against a brickwall when you try to reason with them. My mom is not willing to belive that the UN thing ever even happened and even when I told her I have proof off a non apostate website, she was not interested in seeing it.

I have no idea where to from here. A small part of me had thought that maybe after Saturday, things would come to a head completely and instead we have just put a lid on things and not dealt with them for now. But then again, my family has a history of doing that.

It is so sad that there love for their child is conditional!

sass_my_frass

No, you're making a sensible choice. Neither of your options are great:

- losing them completely

- avoiding the great big elephant in the room so that you can remain in contact.

The second isn't perfect, but it's far less traumatic than the first. You can't expect a relationship in which you are really 'friends', because the difference between you involves the biggest thing in her life and the last thing you want in yours. See if you can make yourself comfortable with that.

lisavegas420

I will just try and keep my mouth shut for now,

That has got to be the hardest part. Ignore the big white elephant in the middle of the room.

lisa

Mrs Smith

All we can do is plant seeds of doubts and hope that they grow. The UN thing will bother your mom more that she is willing to admit right now. Remember it took us years to free our minds.

garybuss

I prefer that people who wish to try to control me with their own bad behaviors would just give me their worst behavior right off. Then I'll factor that person and that person's bad behavior into it's proper place in my living plan and I'll treat them according to their own behaviors.

All association with me is a privilege, not a right, and that right is earned, starting over every day. You can't expect to disrespect me today and then contact me tomorrow like today never happened.

This is simply the establishment and defense of healthy boundaries. I refuse to be offended on purpose without retaining the right to choose to limit or eliminate contact with people who choose to be disrespectful and offensive on purpose. I'll never accept insults and offense as a prerequisite to a relationship. Your love and acceptance isn't important to me. You aren't important to me. Your behavior today is your application for access to me tomorrow.

When I set the rules, I become the one in charge. There's no negotiating with me, so don't even try. I only respect your behavior to the extent that behavior is respectable.

I think it's fair to notify people that the rules have changed. Dysfunctional families tend to stay dysfunctional. Abusive people tend to stay abusive. Here's the new rule: "Be nice or be gone!".

Part 2: OMG - I did it - I told my Mom and Dad how I feel...