Part 2: OMG - I did it - I told my Mom and Dad how I feel...

by Princess Daisy Boo 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    5 days after the big showdown with my mom, she called me today. Well she is a bigger person than me - I certainly did not have the guts to do it.

    We made a bit of small talk and then she brought up Saturdays discussion. She started by asking me what or who made me start looking at apostate websites... then she informed me that apostates are all people who were disfellowshipped or reproved and are now bitter and twisted. Then she went on to inform me that she had spoken to the PO and he had told her that the UN library is open to anyone, to which I countered why the had they become members, and she said she simply cant believe this is true... I told her about the letter which was off the UN website (thanks guys) and she did not want to see it! She also mentioned the pedo situation and if people are found to be guilty then they will be DF'd - but the responsibility is not on the elders to report it, that is the responsibility of the victim or their parenst. I disagreed... well it was all pretty pointless.

    We did have a bit of a heart to heart wherein I told her some of my real issues with religion, which she obviously doesn't get. She ended off the conversation by basically begging me not to "close the door" completely - her and my dad care about me too much and they dont want to have to lose all contact with me.

    I assume that she is basically begging me not to talk about these things again or disassociate myself, in which case they would choose the organisation over me (which is not unexpected)

    I think I am basically relieved - I dont want to lose them so I guess I will just try and keep my mouth shut for now, and hopefully mom will not harass me again in future about all things JW so that we can avoid the sort of discussion that we had on the weekend... Maybe I am being a wimp, I just dunno!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    Maybe I am being a wimp, I just dunno!

    No, that's the life we faders face. It takes courage to keep your thoughts to yourself.
    We had to learn how to keep from saying more than they can take.

    Keep your relation with your parents if that's what you want. Sneak a little bit in
    every so often. Start educating yourself on how to help them.
    I will make my standard recommendation that you read Steve Hassan's two books
    available at freedomofmind.com.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    Princess Daisy Boo -

    Something is happening. I DA'd myself several weeks ago because of the same things you are experiencing.

    I think we are seeing the HOLY SPIRIT work through us to those who are truly hearing the voice of Jesus and

    following Deu. 13:1-3. Slowly, but surely ... people are really waking up and leaving this false religion.

    Be brave! You're doing great!

  • new boy
    new boy

    You can always just do the fade thing too...My daughter did, it worked out O.K. My son did the DA thing which is the big F*** you..

    In the end their mother hasn't talked to either one of them in the last 6 months...choosing her "friends" to her own "real" family.

    Hang in there my friend...life will get better.

  • still_in74
    still_in74

    i wish I had the guts to admit my feelings to my wife.... you are definitely a strong person (ie: not a wimp)

    I hope you can make this work for you and your family

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    Yeah, doing the big DISASSOCIATION takes alot of nerve because you have to go up against the PO and tell him

    that the WTBTS is a false religion/false prophet, but you're taking your stand for God and that's a good thing.

    Don't be afraid to make your stand. They will try to reel you back in with more lies (Theocratic Warfare Strategy)

    and reading scriptures out of context, but stand firm!

    Of course, it'll be different for you because you'll have more to lose. Your parents. Will they completely shun you?

  • Sirona
    Sirona
    then she informed me that apostates are all people who were disfellowshipped or reproved and are now bitter and twisted.

    Wrong.

    I'm not disfellowshipped or disassociated or reproved. Neither is my exJW boyfriend.

    Many ExJWs manage to avoid such action. Many exJWs don't do things they could be disfellowshipped for! Of course JWs won't say that because it doesn't fit with their "apostates are evil" mindset.

    Some ExJWs are bitter - I will concede that. Bitterness comes from the feeling that being part of this religion has had a bad effect on you. You may have lost family to the blood issue, you may have been abused and not helped, you may simply be angry because you were not supported in your education.

    Sirona

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    We need to clarify what "Apostate" means in the Jehovah's Witness religion. It only means that you

    are not in harmony with their doctrines. That's it! Don't agree with the "no-blood" doctrine? APOSTATE!

    Found some information on the internet that puts the WTBTS in bad light that they can't dispute?

    APOSTATE!

    It DOES NOT mean you don't have an accurate knowledge of the Scriptures.

    It DOES NOT mean you don't believe in God.

    It DOES NOT mean you don't believe that Jesus Christ paid the ransom sacrifice.

    If you go against the teaching of the WTBTS - you are an Apostate in their eyes.

    So, an Apostate Religion saying you're an Apostate is ridiculous. Don't worry about it.

    Also, I'm DA'd ... I didn't commit any sin to be DF'd.

    I just told them that they aren't God's organization.

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    I basically faded over ten years ago - I stopped going to meetings when I moved out of my parents home. I have managed to maintain a semblance of a relationship with them in this time by mainly ignoring Mom's preaching to me. This was the first time that I really voiced my opinions on the whole JW issue.

    As for the definition of apostates, isn't that just typical of the JW mindset? They will never give credit to people having made informed decisions about leaving the org... no they had to have been sinners who were disciplined and now are bitter... Its so ridiculous! What she is not getting is that I am unashamedly an apostate, and I was never reproved or DF'd - I just left!

    I guess that by saying "dont close the door", my mom was saying that if I were to DA myself, they will shun me completely so lets keep things as they are. I dont really to DA myself anyway since I havent been to a meeting in so long, I dont really consider myself a witness anyway!

    I am a little irritated that Mom was not even willing to look at the UN letter - like that in itself would be apostacy. I dont really hold out hope of changing their minds at any point in the future - they are quite zealous.

    .

    Love

    Boo

  • still_in74
    still_in74

    We need to clarify what "Apostate" means in the Jehovah's Witness religion. It only means that you

    are not in harmony with their doctrines. That's it

    dont forget that just thinking out of line with WTS teaching makes you an apostate !You dont even have to voice your opinion. If you think the WTS is wrong about something you will die an apostate so dont even think about thinking about questioning the society!

    Hey, is mind control what cults do? NAH!!

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