Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.

by BU2B 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Crazyguy
    Read this weekends we article it just puts a cap on how delusional they are. There's no hope when they except BS like this.
  • Blackfalcon98
    Yes, my mother wrote me a note similar to this lately. It really can be depressing if you allow it to be. Just "duke it out" and make efforts to discretely share seeds of doubt.
  • Stealth

    My mother was much like that when she was alive. She once told my children's neice that she should not get to attached to my babies, because they might not be there in the new system.

    The really sad thing is, I don't even miss her, not even a tiny bit.

  • done4good


    Sorry to hear this. Yes, they are manipulative and do not even know it. Remember, they themselves have been manipulated for their entire lives if they were born in.


  • WingCommander
  • BU2B

    Yes! it is crazy how similiar this letter is to others I have read that others have posted! Its almost like JW parents are following an exact template for letter writing. They truly do have unity of mind, just like they brag about. Its scary how natural care and concern go out the window. I wonder what unconditional love from a parent feels like. I would even settle for conditional love, so long as those conditions do not include something as petty and controlling as YOUR CHILD THINKING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY AS YOU! If I dont follow the things I was PERSUADED to believe, I am a lost cause!

    Steve Hassan says that cult members have an authentic personality and a cult persona. I know my wife has both, but Im not sure my mom does. She is so immersed in the cult and "spiritually strong" that I think the natural and cult persona are actually the same! I love her and have some fond memories of childhood, but most trips involved conventions and assemblies and long 8 hour drives to bethel. My years before going to school were spent in FS all day, and my school years consisted of being picked on in school, going to 3 meetings a week, FS on Saturdays followed by KH cleaning. No friends, hardly and gifts, travel. Just boring steamy hot bookstudy basements studying the revelation book. My parents always fed me, gave me a clean and warm home and never abused me and for that I am glad, however I just do not feel close to them anymore. I do feel robbed of a childhood. I do not think at all like them being an athiest leaning agnostic and I feel all of our interactions are for the purpose of getting me to be "more spiritual family head"

  • millie210

    I feel for both you and your mother.

    A while back I was that mother. I wanted to help my son and I thought the words I had been taught would be all powerful and much "better" than my own heartfelt words.

    My son was loving and ever so polite and respectful as I worked my way through his disfellowshiping and deciding to not come back.

    Now I have followed him out and we have a great relationship with no intrusive religion telling us who we are to each other.

    Two things that stand out to me

    1) As a 50 something yr old mom myself, I can tell you we are under enormous peer pressure to have spiritually progressive children. It is the very definition of success as a mother. (Not true - but it is what we think while in) So everything your mom feels she is as a mom, is on the line as long as she is a JW and you are not.

    This is very hard on her and very unfair to you.

    2) My sons loving, respectful, unconditional love towards me was a huge help in my seeing my way out. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and my sons demonstrating that kept me seeing the "person" he was, instead of the "non performer" I was being told he was.

    Add to that the stupid behavior of elders to other young people and I finally had enough. So in my experience, love your "in" family and let time pass.

    The idiocy of the Org these days may just do the rest for you!

  • BU2B
    Thanks for the comment Millie. It gives me hope.
  • millie210

    Youre welcome. There is room for hope for sure!

    My other son (in) is now moving towards seeing things more clearly. He has quit attending meetings but recently asked me and my son who is Dfd to go to Memorial with him.

    We are going to do it. (ugh) We want him to know we care and are reasonable although I would really rather stab myself and go to the E.R. instead LOL

    I am saying this as a former pioneer (theres that hope thing again)

    I wish you all the best BU2B!

  • 3rdgen

    BU2B, Sorry you are another born in who only knows conditional love from his parents. I am one as well. My father died when I was still in high school. My mother then took put downs and guilt trips to an art form. She hardly spoke to her only grandchildren simply because they didn't measure up to HER standards.

    I woke up after she developed dementia and had to be placed in a rest home. She is in her 90's and still mean as ever, actually worse, now she has become violent. Almost every night I have a nightmare that she is still living with us. The religion is toxic and it's people are often poisoned by it.

    Millie, very good post I thoroughly relate.

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