I NEED TO VENT

Cindi_67

For the past weeks, I have gotten in touch with a lot of old high school classmates. A lot of them I've found over the internet. After reading their profiles and talking to them, to my surprise, a lot of them are professionals with degrees like doctors, engineers, business, etc. and some like me were and still are JW's. Way back when I was in High School, and this is old news, there was the issue with going to college and now I beat my a@# because I chose to pay attention to that "wonderful counsel" and decided to go for a stupid technical college to study for just a year, because I couldn't choose anything better to do with my life because of how "unchristian" was to go to college. I only blame myself for not being my own person and having my head up in the clouds, wanting to be "good" and "obey" the Society's suggestions about College. Now, what have I done with my life? I kept struggling to be "in" but I'm out and didn't become as accomplished as I would have want to be either. Not that I have a bad life, I have a wonderful husband and kids, but I wish I would've become something more than what I am now. I hate the fact that back then, I wasn't really sure of what I wanted, and what I did want, I always looked up to somebody else's opinion on the matter, and of course, there was always something negative about my choices.

Sorry, but I needed to vent.

prophecor

The same heart that holds YOU hostage, holds me as well. Vent away, dear sister

Junction-Guy

Vent away, I know exactly how you feel.

Jim_TX

Cindi,

No need to apologize for venting like this. Many of us are in the same boat.

However... what you do now is up to you. Yes, it will be more difficult - but you can still go to college - if you want to.

I know that doing the type of work I do (Electronic CAD capture - Schematics and PCB layouts) I could've used a bit of college... perhaps could've been an electrical engineer. Not having a college education sometimes limits my abilities of comprehension... and now days... with all of the highly technical electronics devices... if you ain't got college - you're pretty much lost.

I too, could (and should) go back to college... if I ever got up off my lazy ass.

Take care.

Regards,

Jim TX

Maddie

I can understand and sympathise, to look back with regret is painful sometimes. The only thing we can do is try to move forward because that is within our power, whereas the past isn't. Its never too late to study and better ourselves.

Maddie

Cindi_67

Folks, thanks. I didn't I'll get this many responses in such a short time. Not that I am happy that others are going through the same things I do, but makes me feel good that at least others understand.

Thank you

ex-nj-jw

You can't change the past so try not to dwell on what you didn't do or what you could have been. If there is something you want to accomplish why not do it now? Is there any reason you can't go to college now? Go get whatever it is that you want or need it's never too late. I'm 43 and I just got my masters a couple of months ago.

Do it!

nj

Scully

Like ex-nj-jw said, you can't change the past. You keep yourself held hostage to those decisions by dwelling on the past and beating yourself up over it. Instead, why not look at how you can change your future?

All it takes is for you to decide that you are not going to be stuck living with the consequences of poor choices you made in the past. You can start taking courses to improve your skill set. You can apply to college and take part-time or even full-time courses. Yes, it will be hard work, but you have the opportunity to take your anger about your past and use it to motivate you to achieve the best results you can.

I went back to college full-time in my 30s and three years later I graduated at the top of my class. In the decade that has passed since then, I have worked in a job that I absolutely love and earn more working on a part-time basis than I ever would have working full-time and overtime in the dead end jobs that I was qualified for as an under-educated JW.

Venting is productive, but only in the short term. It doesn't fix anything. It opens you up to ideas and starts the ball rolling toward an action plan to make changes. Decide today that this is the last day that your JW upbringing is going to hold you back from achieving your dreams.

raindog

Hey Cindi,

I am a newbie on the list but I can relate to your situation. I grew up as a JW during the height of the '75 disaster. I still remember sitting at an assembly in Cincinnati, and hearing the speaker say "todays generation will not make it to finish high school". Many of my parents freinds reitereated the same thought. I was always told to get a trade or factory job because the world was going to end soon. Well, when your 5 years old and start hearing this kind of talk it has a lasting effect. I was kicked out of my parents house at 16 and I attempted to go back to school and start a career. However, those comments always stuck in the back of my mind. I am now 43 and finally finishing my degree and heading to law school. I did manage to stay in touch with my JW parents but I am about to cut the cord on that because even now they are becoming such a negative influence. Everytime I talk with them I am told what a waste it is that I am going to school. On an interesting side note, as I mentioned I am studying law, I mentioned to my parents that I was doing a legal memo on the child abuse case. They told me, not ask, but told me I should choose another subject as the society doesn't need the negative publicity and I shouldn't be publicizing the situation. Anyway, Cindi, I know where your coming from on this issue.

Lou_Cypher

It is a necessary part of the process of healing... this is a good place to find understanding ears... Probably all here have gone thru this a one time or another... so vent ahead as much as you need... but dont stay there.. vent and move along...

In my case it took years... I hope it doesn't take you as long to realize that as long as we feel pain or anger regarding the past and the reasons things happened, to a point they still are chains that drag us down...

I wish light & progress to all of you who sincerly want to leave the past behind...

I NEED TO VENT

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