Ideas to help w/ Still-believing mates

FreeWilly

I've been reading alot of posts about spouses trying to get through to their mates still in Dubville - with mixed results. It seems to go like this: After some internal questioning the Exiting mate shares what they learn with the StillaDub mate. At first the StillaDub mate may be receptive and even share some of their own doubts and unresolved questions. But once the Stilladub mate realizes the situation may cause seious changes they become closed, exasperated and wished the whole thing went away. Then it becomes hard to talk to them about anything JW related.

I've read a couple of books that I think would really help couples struggling in this way. They don't even touch upon JW's. They both have to do with a fundementalist sect of Mormonism (FLDS). It seems to me to be a non threatening way to show how an insular controlling religion manipulates and controls it's followers stealing their lives away. They use the same playbook as the Society - information control, disfellowshipping, constant fear of Armageddon, warped reasoning etc. I think it would help keep the StillaDub mate engaged without them becoming overly defensive.

Anyway the books are "Escape" by Carolyn Jessop and "Under the Banner of Heaven" by John Krakauer. Me and my fiance have read these together and often found ourselves how anyone can be so obviosly duped.

Any other ideas?

Black Sheep

My wife will not view any anti-cult literature or videos.

If a TV program or news item comes on, she heads for the shower or bed.

She claims that Apostates of ANY religion will only tell you the bad stuff about that religion and are not to be trusted. If you really want to know what that religion teaches you have to get your information from them, not from their disaffected members.

She is an Apostate Anglican

Cheers
Chris

MissingLink

I've been reading alot of posts about spouses trying to get through to their mates still in Dubville - with mixed results. It seems to go like this: After some internal questioning the Exiting mate shares what they learn with the StillaDub mate. At first the StillaDub mate may be receptive and even share some of their own doubts and unresolved questions. But once the Stilladub mate realizes the situation may cause seious changes they become closed, exasperated and wished the whole thing went away. Then it becomes hard to talk to them about anything JW related.

Very insightfull FreeWilly. Thanks for the suggestion.

OnTheWayOut

My wife will not view any anti-cult literature or videos.

Same here. My wife is deeply afraid of the word "cult" and anything to do with it.
Hmmmm...... I wonder why that is?

I have made great strides just by waiting for the opportune moments to slip in my
comments and have discussions with my wife. As time goes on, the moments
arise less and less often. But I feel that my wife is slightly fading on her own.
She hopes I don't notice, but she either misses meetings or service, or is
extremely late often. Just this week, she left the house maybe 5 minutes before
the meeting would start, and the trip is close to 30 minutes (or more in this weather).

Hope4Others

Stick to watchtower quotes,and old publications to show where there were drastic shifts in teachings. Let the watchtower speak not you. This is what my husband did to me. At first just

the comments would make me boil, until I actually saw it in print. Some call it a blinking light or new light. I prefer to call it a resurrected light. What common sense tells us one can

teach I thing and then change back to the original teaching. Sometimes there have been up to 6 times they have changed. Example the resurrection of Sodom & Gomorrah.

We were taught back then to be like Jah in all his ways. But with Jah there is no variation even with the turning of a shadow."James 1:17". (heb 13:8 says "Jesus Christ is the SAME

yesterday and today, and forever." Doesn't sound like he's changing to much... the scripture in prov 4:18 in full context is a father talking to his son about our human experience our

knowledge getting brighter and brighter. But whom would it be more important to imitate Jah,Christ,or a young inexperienced son? It takes time, so use the bible, old literature anything

but your personal opinion and those branded as "Apostates". Eventually you will be able to slip in quotes from the "Crisis book by Franz. The fact she's starting to be late and miss a

meeting shows she has doubts or is growing weary. There is hope.

Hope4Others

Open mind

I think the F&D Slave has provided the answer already.

Gradualism. Gradualism. Gradualism.

At least that's what I'm trying.

I'll be sure to let you know if it ever actually works.

OM

AlyMC

I suppose you can say that I won my spouse over "without a word". I guess that one came back to bite them in the ass.

On principle I completely agree, at least in my experience, subtle conversations about how the JW life/org tends to completely control and manipulate to the point of loosing free will and identity went a long way with my husband. He wasn't interested in doctrinal research or arguments, but he really related to these concepts.

Hope4Others

By the way...doing more fun things together causes missed meetings..perferably out of town. It gets easier after that to miss them. Show her that you have withdrawn from the KH not her.

Hope4Others

allreadygone

Hope4others Nice post. I could not agree more. My wife is hanging on to the Borg. like an old security blanket. She thinks that outside the Borg. everyone is a liar or an adulterer. So when I show her quotes from the literature that are proven lies she is speechless. Gone

Homerovah the Almighty

I think gathering ever bit of information about its leaders and developers is a good positive approach,

And perhaps not getting too involved with any doctrinal changes, the reason being is they have been programed to receive

any changes as a working process of new light so trying to imply any sense of reasoning becomes ineffective and futile.

For example you could show this video on you-tube, which exposes the obvious corruption and exploitation by its leaders

The truth has always been bent and twisted by these guys with the intension of increasing their literature sales.

Its hard to phantom why would God choose crooked lawyers and businessmen to front and take control of his earthly organization.

Intelligence should kick in sooner or later http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlHbz5G4UTM&feature=related

Ideas to help w/ Still-believing mates

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