Joy Or Sorrow When You First Found Out It Was False?

by serotonin_wraith 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • dogisgod
    dogisgod

    I left because it was too awful to stay. It would have killed me to stay. For many years I still believed it was the "truth". There is still a teensy bit of that hidden in the recesses of my pouris brain. Finding this site has opened my eyes and now I feel like I was stupid, I'm angry, sad, and wish I could believe in God. I think there has to be somebody out there somewhere but I don't know how to find it.

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips
    Joy Or Sorrow When You First Found Out It Was False?

    Neither.

    Rage.

    Burn

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Bitterness.

    I was a rabid JW.

    I avoided my family and treated them coldly-so coldly.

    No college. Now, no money for retirement and a low paying job.

    Over thirty years of frantically getting ready for meetings, studying for meetings,going in FS, cleaning the Khall, cleaning the convention sites, working on quick builds, cleaning my house for book study, cleaning my car and always using it for service. Going to meetings early, staying late, sometimes really late for my elder husband.

    Few vacations, because of no money, and because it was "unspiritual" to be away from meetings.

    Yes, bitter, but sad, too because I bought into all of it.

    Like the other poster, I cried and cried when I realized it wasn't the "truth."

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    I knew it was BS at a very young age and just lived a bunch of sorrow, waiting for my parents to get it. My dad, an Elder left about 1980, my mother has never left.

    r.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    At first I doubted - how could it all be lies, I was frustrated at the lack of love showed to me by people I had known my whole life and trully cherrised them. I felt extreme sorry because I knew my family would shun me, but then joy - the real true inner deep seated joy of being free, of following what was good for me - the joy and love that really truly bubbles from the very core of my being. That was 3 years ago and I feel it to this day.

  • ellderwho
    ellderwho

    When I first found out it was false, was when a co-worker gave me a copied page from a book reffering to Beth-Sarim. Right then and there it hit me. Their false prophets!

    My feelings were like I was finally able to look "behind the curtain" I was happy, and needed to know if there were anymore secrets to reveal.

    I loved exposing these facts, it felt good knowing I never really bought into to the whole lifestlye, although doctrine haunted me. And that changed after much studying.

    Im pissed now because I see mom duped at every conversation we have regarding this publishing Co. Im always wondering when shes going to get it?

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    Disillusionment. Everything I knew since I was a child was a myth and I felt confused. Then I started living my life without the big J-man and his Watchtower thugs. The only time they bother me is when I have to talk to old friends and family about that bullsh*t. Other than that, my life is fine. Personally, the only reason why I even go to the XJW support groups is because I've made such good friends with the people that I went to those support groups with when I was trying to exit. I'm totally unassimilated. I'm mentally and emotionally free.

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