http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/217 (italics mine)
False accusations and gossip can destroy lives, even (especially) if the accused is innocent. If your reputation is under attack, Dr. Phil has advice on taking your power back.
Accept that there is no way you can erase what has happened. Even though the accusations may be unfair and untrue, the situation is real. You need to get out of denial about that in order to deal with it in the here and now. Ask yourself what you would like to see happen in order to clear your name. Is there anything that anyone — the authorities, your co-workers or someone in the community — can do that could ever make the situation better?Understand that people might come forward to admit they were wrong. And they might not. It is up to you to put this behind you. Give yourself what you wish you could receive from others. You need to say to yourself, "I know I didn't do this. And I will give myself what I wish the community, the authorities, etc., would give me."Begin the process of closure by not reacting to what you think people are saying about you. If you allow yourself to be intimidated, feel guilty or shrink away because of what people think, you are putting yourselfin a prison.
Don't try to address every accusation. "If you decide to start defending yourself, that will become your full-time job," Dr. Phil tells a guest. "If you answer every story, every piece of gossip, every allegation in your life, that's all you will ever do." You will be completely consumed by this and it will take over your life.Stop reacting to the rumors. "You give it legs by reacting to it," Dr. Phil tells his guest. Don't draw attention to yourself defending the rumor. "You need to give yourself permission to just live your life. If there are people out there who think something about you that you don't like, then those won't be your friends." There will be other people who will like and respect you for who you are, and they will be your friends.Stand up for yourself and say, "I'm taking my power back. I'm not going to give them the power to pick my feelings. They're wrong and I can look myself in the mirror knowing the truth." Dr. Phil tells a guest, "You have to decide that you believe in who you are, what you stand for, and what you do, and you just need to go forth and do it." You need to walk forward from the situation. "Who you are and what you do, that will win out in time."Know that it's normal to feel a twinge of guilt even if you're completely innocent. We always hear about guilt by association. But there is also guilt by accusation. People hear something negative and tend to believe it. If you accuse a person unfairly, he/she still has that twinge — just from having the finger pointed at him/her.Don't fall into the trap of acting out with non-directional frustration. The stress that comes with being wrongly accused can lead a person to act out with those closest to them, like a spouse or child. Remember that the enemy isn't your loved one; it's an outside force. I was very angry and upset when I posted last.
I regret losing it, but I stand by what I said, I could of said it more calmly.
I am human and we all have our breaking points. This whole situation has opened my eyes to how cruel people can be.
I have explained myself. Life is strange. My mistake was sharing parts of mine here.
I did not scam anyone. I did not plan anything of any ill intent to take anything from this board.
I have only given to this board my compassion and my care.
You can read my posts and see what I am like. My silence on the board did not mean I felt guilty.
I don't feel guilty because I did nothing wrong. I know the truth.
My silence only was because I could not bear to read those attacks further.
People will believe what they want to, and some slander others for the fun of it.
So be it, have fun with that.
My life is my business and what I chose to share and not share with others, is up to me, not up to the board.
I am not an evil person. People who know me, know this.
I care about people. That is who I am. I have alot to give and if that is a flaw, so be it.
I am not ashamed to be a giving person.
When I was trying to tell people on the werewolf game that I was a villager, no one believed me.
I offered to be seen by the seer, and my aura to be revealed by the auralist, and still no one believed me.
I knew I was innocent, but they all thought that my continued defence of myself was proof that I was guilty.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It was finally proved by the auralist that I was not lying.
I wish I had a way to show you that I am not, but there is no crystal ball. There is no auralist to show you my innocence.
I only expect further attacks from the same group of people.
I have no unrealistic expectations that this post will change their abusive behavior.
I wish no ill towards them.
To the good hearted people here, I wish you all the best and much love.
You deserve it.
-eclipse
