I have become aware since being on JWD that many of us who converted to JW's as adults suffer from feelings of guilt and self-recrimination for being so badly deceived. I for one sometimes have the desire to punish myself for becoming a JW, being instrumental in my son being in their clutches, and the pain that is caused by it all.
I have started to read "Releasing The Bonds" by Steven Hassan and I hope and pray that in time I will be more able to help my family leave the JW cult. There is a section in the book about understanding the cult member which I hope will help me to understand myself, as well as my family and hopefully not beat myself up so much in the future. Here is a little of what it says:-
"Most people would like to believe that they are in complete control of their mind at all times. It is easier to assume that reational thinking makes us invulnerable than to admit that we are all susceptible to mind control. But it is precisely this belief in our own vulnerability that allows cults to entrap unsuspecting recruits.
There are three primary reasons why intelligent, educated people with stable backgrounds can be drawn into cults. 1) A pervasive lack of awareness about cults and mind control 2) Many situations make people more vulnerable to recruitment e.g. a person whose parents have separated or divorced will be more likely to listen to a recruiter who describes his group as "one big happy family". Also someone whose marriage or romance has just ended will be more susceptible to come-ons by an attractive person. 3) Other common situational variables are bereavement, illness, loss of job, moving to new location (city, country).
Some people have psychological profiles that make recruitment easier for cults. In general people who have difficulty thinking critically will be easier targets. For example people who think in terms of magical or predestined events will be more easily swayed by a cult leaders' prophecies or events if they apear to be synchronistic. People-pleasers, who seek the approval of their peer group out of insecurity, and people with low self-esteem are vulnerable.
People who engage excessively in hypnosis, meditation, and other activities that can induce an "altered state of consciousness" (television, reading, sports, music, video and computer games) are more susceptible.
People with learning disorders, drug or alcohol problems, unresolved sexual issues, pre-existing phobias, and other unresoved traumatic issues will be easier targets.
Cults seek out vulnerabilities and use them against recruits. People who have not achieved a happy, secure sense of self can be more easily drawn in. On the other hand, cults tend to avoid people who are seriously illor, in some way, physically or mentally challenged. They want people who will be an asset, not a liability.
I hope this will helps other posters who feel bad about becoming part of the JW cult, to know that we were very much victims too.
Maddie