raising kids without a religion - thoughts, advice? (page 2)

Carmel

We raised our five children with the notion that we would not inflict religion upon them. Midway through family development my wife and I became Baha'is and were pleased to see the children's classes at the Baha'i center taught about all the religions. When the kids got old enough to go to church with their friends we encouraged them to go and learn. Almost invariably they were not asked back a second time, not that they misbehaved, but that the pastors or elders, etc. were very uncomfortable with youth that could hold their own in a discussion about religion. They expected ignorant zombies who could be easily swayed by the regalia and ceremony, but alas our kids asked questions, volunteered opinions and ideas that made them too uncomfortable. I strongly reccomend that you allow them to investigate, to compare and to take ownership of what ever they decide is "truth". We never insisted our kids attend Baha'i meetings with us but over time they chose on their own to participate as it was intellectually stimulating, socially expanding and "spiritually" fulfilling. Your kids may find a totally different path than you, but they will own it and you should embrace that, be it atheist, agnostic, wiccan or any other belief system. carmel

worldtraveller

It's sad you have to be an ignorant zombie to participate, doesn't it? Show how religion is fading as intelligence in the western world increases.

R.Crusoe

When I first caught sight of this thread I thought ,

What a $££^%$^$ing good idea!

If any I think I would teach them Earthy belief like Wicca or something to put them in touch with a deep sense of essence of all life and the cycles it can instill in humans! But I would keep it under control with a dose of Atheism and science of the cosmos as a healthy alternative to prevent anyone getting a hold of my kid with all this fear $H%T.

Namaste

A big issue I"m currently struggling with. At this point I'm in the not sure phase of my life and if I don't know what I believe or how I feel about all of it I can't even begin to explain such concepts as God to my 4 year old.

Problem is that my husband married me thinking I was this wonderful JW female and although HE didn't believe any of it, my values and morals meshed very well with his outlook on God, Jesus, raising a family and so on.

Well whaddya know.....I changed my mind on all of it. So here I am, all open and accepting of everyone and their beliefs and lifestyles and he still has these very strict standards and beliefs. The thing is that he won't ever attend any sort of church as he always argues with the preachers/pastors/elders. He is a "my way of thinking is the right way" kind of guy and I've moved way away from that type of thinking.

So for now, I work on teaching my son respect, caring, empathy, and love for others. It's all I have to work with right now. I'm definitely going to order that book that a previous poster mentioned, Parenting Beyond Belief, sounds like it might have some helpful tips for me in this confusing time.

R.Crusoe

Whatever you have in your mind is NOT what the kid is getting! Kids need contact with social groups and varietes of culture in their own peer group and on a regular basis and to feel they are offering 'social pleasure ' to others by having fun/parties whatever that they can invite others to on a regular basis. My childhood was absent of this and never once in my life have I invited anyone to any social function at my house or elsewhere despite an insatiable longing to do so which is now virtually dead. The lesson is that what your child does in childhood, they will feel a natural inclination to do in adulthood and will also have a natural knowledge of how to rally people to come along!

Black Sheep

Teach them humanitarian principles.

Teach them how to think.

I stuffed up with my kids, cos I was still under Borg influences at the time, but, if I had my chance over again, that is what I would do.

I did teach mine how to think, but I didn't teach them not to compartmentalise as I was the ultimate expert at that.

Cheers
Chris

atpeace

i'm really glad i found this site! i believe we can choose to live our lives to the fullest despite our upbringings. i think the thing that irritates me the most is that our parents made a conscience decision to raise us with their beliefs, but they now feel it is wrong for us to do that.

for so many years i felt socially flawed. how can one learn basic social skills with your only allowed to associate with like two kids?! And dating?! the notion that you can't even like someone unless you want to marry. thankfully my husband and i have grown together and despite it all still like each other. but we have had our moments - we had to make some mistakes in our marriage i feel because we weren't allowed to in our youth. i will not put my children through that mentality. oh - and i was home-schooled for high school, double whammy! can you tell i'm a little resentful?! but i know you can't live like that. i'm young enough to live a full life and make new choices. we all are.

MissingLink

My wife and I are facing this same issue. I just ordered the book Parenting Beyond Belief because somone recommended it about a month ago. I'm a bit further "out" than she is. She's concerned that the children can't be taught morals without some sort of religion. I'm hoping the book helps.

Scully

What objections do you have to raising kids without a religion, or more to the point, what objections from others do you anticipate having to deal with if you raise your children without religion?

Is it true that "religion" is necessary to raise children with values, morals and ethics? Not in the least. Religion serves as a convenient backdrop for teaching lessons of morality, but it comes with a high price tag, imo: "When you're bad it makes baby Jesus cry....", or "If you keep doing [whatever] Jehovah is going to destroy you!!"

Mr Scully and I have the philosophy that we are raising our children to become positive, contributing adults. Religion, imo, tells people "what" to think, rather than teaches them "how" to think.

R.Crusoe

The highest morality one can attain is a Godless Morality which educates a child to tune in with nature and its own kind and all life forces on Earth, which then is able to make its own choices about whether or not it believes in God/esses.

That is what I think and feel right now!

raising kids without a religion - thoughts, advice?

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