The difficulty of recovering from JW teachings

by DT 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  DT

  It's difficult to free yourself from years of cult influence. I'm concerned that I may still be suffering from hidden assumptions that I haven't considered. I'll have to examine my thinking for the rest of my life, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

  It would be easier if we could reject everything we were taught, but that's not really possible. Their teachings can't be completely wrong, just mostly wrong. I wonder if this contributes to the very different paths that are followed by ex members. There are atheists, agnostics, pagans, born again Christians, etc. I'm not trying to promote or criticise specific philosophies here, but I'm interested in discussing the assumptions or thought processes that lead people down these different paths.

  The JW's believe that all other religions are false, but the Bible is true and trustworthy and there is a God. It would be very difficult to build a new worldview that rejects all these ideas. (I suppose a person could claim that there is a true religion, but no god, but he would might have to redefine the terms to be consistent.) I, personally, have retained the belief that all other religions are false and included the JW's in that group. (My reasons for believing this have changed, but the basic belief has been retained.) Others have retained the belief that there is a God or that the Bible is true.

  This is a tricky situation. It is difficult to retain a belief that was a acquired in a cult setting while honestly reevaluating the reasons for that belief. There can also be a strong desire to retain a small portion of your prior belief system. It's also easy to not notice subtle hidden assumptions that may be still affecting your thinking.

  This has been a challenge for me. I believe that I have avoided some traps, but I can't know how successful I have been in other areas. I get the feeling that some have retained some JW beliefs without realising it or really analysing them. I don't want to criticise or jump to conclusions, because I have to admit that I may be in the same boat.

  I grew up in the religion so I didn't have any prior mindset. Many became JW's as adults. How do you handle this situation? Did you just revert to your prior belief system or did you feel a need to reexamine that too, perhaps questioning what may have made you susceptible to the
  JW mindset in the first place?

  I'm not trying to provoke a debate about the merits of atheism, belief, or different religions in this post. I'm more interested in how your new worldview (or reacquired worldview) relates to your recovery process.
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  megaflower

  Iam still trying to figure it all out. Iam taking the approach of having an open mind and reading. I agree with you that they may be right about some things while most of it is rubbish. The real question is, what is true? I have started with the basics and that is the JW mandated rules. For instance, door to door for salvation- wrong. The faithful and descreet slave class being a mediator-wrong. The more difficult topics like Jesue being Gods son/trinity-no clue. The purpose of the earth???? Heaven and hell???? Try not to get overwehlmed, so much to think about and sift through. This board helps so much. There have been so many nice comments and thought provoking comments. The most importnat step was getiing out of that hateful, mindcontroling cult!!!!!!!!
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  Mincan

  I for one take a lot of my JW teachings to heart.

  As with all mythologies including the bible, there are central themes present throughout, and usually for the benefit of civilisation.

  A brief list of things I was raised to do/believe/etc (its hard to say what my mother would have taught me without the JWs though): Honesty, Respect for others, Not seeking money as the prime directive, Patience (god did we ever need that!). I'm glad I can use these learned behaviours when they benefit me. I can also take them off now without feeling guilty (i.e. white lies to make people feel better, although I'm still usually brutally honest even when I don't have to be, just because that's the way my personality developed, it's an ingrained habit now; Now I can lie to the authorities when I feel I should without feeling guilty, there are things that the government shouldn't need to know about the citizenry; etc)

  I have found it easy to reject everything that the WT taught. That was never a problem. My problem is the regret I felt in believing. I've learned now that regret is essentially a useless emotion. Making a mental note of beneficial teachings was good for me, it might piss others off though.
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  sspo

  Some have given up in trying to figure out what is the "truth".

  I now feel if there is a Creator up there, why would not a loving father make it clearer to those on earth, and not have the confusion that's been going on for 1000's of years.

  I really blame him for the confusion and not Satan as the bible wants us to beleive.

  Any loving father that wants obedience and exclusive devotion would definetely tell us, plainly, what he wants from his "children"

  and he has not done so.
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  darkuncle29

  I agree with you that removing all of the Borg implants may not be possible or even the best approach, and then there are also the implants that you don't even know are there. Perhaps for some of the deeper rooted beliefs and thought processes, awareness and modification is preferable to forced removal-if that is even possible. I think they got it right with "Religion is a snare and a racket". I also think that the org is a good example of how not to behave. By shaking off the mental shackles of the WTS, we notice other areas of life that have mental control and can get away from them too.

  I don't think there is any one true religion or way of seeing the world. I think that there are many parralel paths, but that we each have to take our own journey. But with that said, I do tend to keep on the lookout for others on a path that try to enforce it on other people-religions, political groups, ect. Anytime sobody tries to sell me their only true whatever, I mentally hold them at arms length like a wrigling thing and try to gently let them be.
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  leftbelow

  I still can't go in to a church because it scares the crap out of me and I should know better.
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  cluless

  Time is the recovery. I know it hurts. But it heals (The teachings just take time to heal) But Time is the healer.One day at a Time.
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  Mincan

  Amen
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  journey-on

  I was raised a JW and believed it whole-heartedly.

  1975 came and went. Ummm----Do I really want my children's entire childhood to be consumed by activities associated with this religion??!!

  Decision time --- I'm outta here....adios! Little League first....other things as they come along. Enjoy your childhood, little ones. I'll deal with my own internal struggle.

  Spiritual emptiness --- nagging desire to KNOW. Spritual research begins. I read everything I can get my hands on. I search search search.

  I realize it's impossible to KNOW anything for certainty and the best advice came from Jesus: Love God your father with your whole heart, soul, strength and mind, and your neighbor as yourself.

  In other words, appreciate this Life you have and live it with joy and appreciation and love your fellow man. All other things fall under the category of unknowable and/or faith. It's cliche, but I still

  feel "It's all in the Playing".
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  jwfacts

  I am reading Brainwashing: The Science of Thought Control [Paperback] by Taylor, Kathleen at the moment. It is exceptional, looks at all the standard research into cults, plus how the brain works, plus the ethics. It shows from a neurological point of view why it is hard to change beliefs.

  Regarding athiesm, it discusses the danger of etheral ideas, and that it is not only religion that uses power yet unfounded ideas to the detriment of others.