With every breath that I took, I wanted the JWs to be right...

by cognac 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • cognac

    I wish I could not think its so wrong when everyone I know and love thinks its so right.

    I'm so mad... I wish I could run to my husband and tell him how angry I am. Tell him and my family that I don't ever want to go near a kh again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are supposed to be the closest people to me and I'm alone in this.

    Why am I forced into something thats so wrong???

    Why did that guy ever have to go to my Dads door???

    So, let me get this straight... These are my 2 choices:

    1. DA myself and never get to talk to my family and friends again; or

    2. Fade, but still "counted" as a JW. Another words, still a part of them.

    Sorry, I'm usually not so angry, I'm usually fine. Just mad now cause the closest people to me I really can't even speak to about this...

  • UnConfused

    Personally I strongly suggest fading and not DA'ing

  • cognac

    Yeah, but it kinda stinks having to fade.

    I'm still considered "a part" of them?

    Where do they get that 6 1/2 mil. # anyways? Is that from those that are active publishers? Or are people who are inactive count?



    I know just what you mean, a lot of us do.

    Feel free to read some of my first posts, I was pretty pissed off myself.

  • steve2

    Far, far more effective for you to take smaller steps first, then see how you go, and with time, take the bigger steps. Slow and steady will get you there. Fading is better than blading

  • prophecor

    You can also be a double agent, as it were. You'll be suprsed the number of people who go to the Hall, keep up the facade, but know that there's something desperately wrong with OZ. Many here are active participants, yet for the sake of thier families, they remain amongst the fold and just blend in, without need of fading, vanishing or disappearing. The fight to keep in with your family is a desperate one that in most cases you will lose to the bOrg. It doesn't need to be so desperately black and white. There's still a shade or two of grey.

  • nvrgnbk

    2. Fade, but still "counted" as a JW. Another words, still a part of them.

    Still "counted" as a JW?


    The inactive are not counted.

    Still a part of them?


    In time, you'll be considered lost to Satan.

    You're a part of whatever you want to be a part of, no matter what "they" or anyone else tell you.

    Best of success to you, cognac.

    It gets better.

    It can even get good.



  • Gopher

    I was raised in the so-called truth. If you read my profile, the first thing is that I really thought JW's had the truth. I really bought into it.

    But after enough jolts, I finally got the picture you're now getting.

    COME HERE TO VENT - whenever you need to. You have our total empathy, sister (if you don't mind me calling you that).

    As far as fading vs. DA'ing yourself, it's your choice - just move carefully whatever you do. There's no graceful way to leave Watchtower-world, especially if you're in a high profile position. Some people have switched congregations, then faded out.

    They get the 6 and a half million publisher count from either the average number of publishers during the service year (September to August) or from the totalling the peak publishers per country who turned in field service reports.

  • dinah

    Please don't do anything in haste.

    I was raised in too. When that wall comes crashing down it hurts.

    Hang out awhile. Nobody will force you to believe anything. We do have a good time around here. The best cyber-friends in the world, imho.

  • Odrade

    "Fading" gets easier after awhile for most people. It can make all the difference in the world if your spouse comes out of the Organization with you. I'm hoping for you that this will be the case. In the meantime, keep telling yourself that those are THEIR rules, not yours, and if they want to think of you as a JW still, that's okay, but YOU don't have to think of yourself as a JW if you don't want to.

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