Chapter from my novel

by Abandoned 23 Replies latest social entertainment

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Chapter 1 – Taken

    The stranger glances side to side, eyes peeled, studying the tranquil neighborhood, searching for motion, for movement, for any sign of activity, as he glides his beige Chevy Cavalier station wagon to a stop in front of the elegant white house. He cuts the engine and with it the air conditioner as the punishing sun journeys between the sparsely positioned, comic book character clouds and endeavors to bake and blind him. Fuck this heat! And fuck these fucking sunglasses! He cracks open the window, delighted by the slight northern breeze that enters, and tosses the useless sunglasses out. Inside the car, the heat and the breeze battle but the breeze is not sufficient to the task and it surrenders its promise of refreshment while beads of sweat form and prosper on the stranger’s bald forehead. Oblivious to the near hundred degree temperature, butterflies flit and flutter among the marigolds and tulips and violets and chrysanthemums which decorate the Byzantium street. Meanwhile, high above the unfolding drama, two blue jays play a game of indefatigable tag, unintentionally mimicking the activity of two boys, ages 4 and 6, playing in their font yard below. The stranger, neatly attired in a pair of Dockers, knit shirt, and deck shoes, eases the door open just a crack. The door creaks. Damn it! I meant to put some WD-40 on that. The creaking makes him even more self-conscious and he begins to glance around nervously. Nobody stirs besides the two boys, but their frenetic running, jumping, and singing leave them oblivious to all but each other.

    Relieved that the unintentional noise did not appear to arouse an investigation, the stranger continues opening the door, much slower than before and without any further sound. He leaves the door ajar as he walks to the sidewalk, searching the while for any sign of people. He scans the windows of the houses, the windows of the parked cars, the yards, the balconies, even the roofs, but other than the two boys, there is nobody at all to be seen. He invokes his most genuine smile and calls out to the bigger of the two. “Is Mr. Schobern at home?” His voice is gentle, benign, just how he had practiced over and over in preparation, masking the hatred that consumes him and threatens to expose the plan. The name, Schobern, he gathered from a stylized wreath above the door of the next house over. I hope I pronounced it right, he thinks to himself.

    “I think he’s working,” Johnny, the older of the two boys, calls back. The stranger knew that Mr. Schobern would be at work. He always was at this time of the day; except weekends, of course, but who would be foolish enough to attempt this on a weekend? In a residential neighborhood no less.

    “Why, thank you young man. I guess I’ll just have to stop by later then.” The stranger replies, just as he had practiced. He then turns to walk away, just as he had planned and at the last minute, pauses, and, just as he had prepared, turns back to the young boy and says, “Say, why don’t you come over here and let me give you a little gift for helping me out?” The smile on his lips is now genuine.

    Johnny stands defiant, hands on hips, chin out, challenging the stranger who is foolish enough to attempt to trick him. “Umm, I’m not sposed to take nothing from strangers,” he asserts and then quickly adds, “Mom says I could get poisoned or ducted or something.”

    At the mention of the boy’s Mom, the stranger’s smile begins to fade and his body stiffens. “Yes, well your mother is quite the…” He senses that his control is slipping. By sheer will, he forces himself quiet, empties his mind of emotion, and reasserts his control. I c a n’t b l o w t h i s. If I can carry this off, I will have plenty of time later to… “I mean, your mother sounds very wise. Look, why don’t I give you a dollar instead? That way you can buy whatever you want and won’t have to worry about getting poisoned or, or anything.”
    The proposal sounds reasonable, not the words of someone dangerous. “Yeah, I guess that’s OK,” little Johnny replies as he walks over to where the stranger is standing and extends his hand.

    The stranger glances at the other young boy, the potential witness. I wish I could take both of them, but the plan only calls for the one. He looks at Johnny and suggests, “Say, why don’t you have,” he almost calls the boy by his name, Jimmy, but catches himself and continues, “ah, your little brother over there run inside and check with your mom? Make sure that it is OK for me to give you a dollar, that way you won’t have to worry about getting in trouble.”

    Johnny calls instructions out to his younger brother who turns and runs into the house. As soon as Jimmy is out of sight, the stranger removes a rag from his pocket, places it over Johnny’s mouth, and snatches him in his arms. The sweat pours liberally off of his face and hands and body as the stranger then bounds to the rear of the station wagon where the back latch had been left open. He raises the door and places the flaccid young boy on the floor, covering the unconscious body with a blanket he recovers from a backpack on the seat. At the sound of the rear door slamming, the blue jays pause in their frolicking to glance down, before continuing their playful antics.

    As the stranger jumps into his car and speeds away, Jimmy skips out of the house and calls out, “Mom.” He points to where the station wagon was parked mere moments before, “The man is right over there, right by his…” He looks back and forth for the car, then for the man, and finally for his older brother Johnny. “MOM! MOM!” He shouts toward the front door. “The man’s not here. Johnny’s not here either. MOM!”

    As the inflection in her son’s voice changes from youthful excitement to fear, Jenna Wilkins begins to run. She stumbles out the door, stops to grab Jimmy around the waist in her right arm, and races past the front porch and into the peaceful lawn. “Jimmy, where’s your brother?”

    Jimmy squirms in his mother’s stifling grip. With frustration growing in his voice, he thrusts out his arms, fingers extended, and through clenched teeth he exclaims, “I told ya, he’s with the man, but…”

    Jenna sets Jimmy on the ground, places her hands on his shoulders, and demands, “Man? Where is the man? Where is your brother?”

    “Over there! Next to the car, but…”

    “What car? What car are you talking about?”

    “That’s what I tried to tell ya. The car is gone. The man’s gone. Johnny’s gone.”

    Jenna hears Jimmy’s words but they are not registering. Johnny was just here, a few moments ago, playing and laughing in the front yard. What was it, fifteen, twenty minutes when she last checked on them? Was it longer than that? She couldn’t remember. She turns to nowhere in particular and screams, “Johnny!” There is no response so she turns in another random direction and calls out even louder, “Where are you Johnny?” She pauses to listen for the answer she fears won’t be coming. She falls to her knees and cups her hands around her mouth like a bullhorn. “This is your mother calling, Johnny!” She pauses again to listen. Her voice is strained from the screaming and the emotion and in little more than a whisper, she calls out again, “Please, Johnny,” her voice cracks, “this is your mother. You come here right now. Get over here this instant. Please.” Her heart breaks as she senses that Johnny will not be responding. The revelation slams her like a heart attack and she collapses to the ground.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    quite good. Thanks for sharing.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Thank you Odrade, this is my favorite serious novel. Once I polish up the first chapter of my first humorous one, I'll post that here as well.

  • XOCO
    XOCO

    i've read ur excerpt abandoned and its really good *applause* it felt like i was watching a Hallmark film in my head. i could not help but notice some of the the things that had to do with the jw life 4 example:

    Chevy Cavalier station wagon = pioneer mobile LOL
    Fuck this heat! And fuck these fucking sunglasses! = ahh i've experience this all to well in FLA especially in FS
    The stranger, neatly attired in a pair of Dockers, knit shirt, and deck shoes,= yep those are the dubs alright

    Also the connection with JW child abuse mentioned in ur story

    Bravo Abandoned, Bravo

    XOCO

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Bravo Abandoned, Bravo

    XOCO

    Thank you very much.

    I hope you still like it as you see more. It has very dark undertones.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Here's more of Chapter One - Taken:

    The stranger turns the Chevy station wagon left onto the old mining road. The potholes and clumps of grass and dirt in the middle of the road give testament to the abandoned condition of the depleted bauxite mine at the roads end. The stranger continues along as the road transforms into little more than a trail, which rocks and jolts the car, but his face displays no concern. It is just around this turn. He continues. There it is. He parks the station wagon next to a Toyota pickup sitting where the trail widens. Up ahead is a landfill, used, in the mine’s heyday, for depositing the dirt, clay, and sand extracted with the bauxite and abandoned in the separation process, but since the mine’s closing, relegated to the position of common garbage dump, popular among the residents of Templeton who are either to lazy or can’t afford to call and make an appointment with Templeton Sanitation Authority (TSA). Half charred remains of stoves and sofas and refrigerators and recliners lay strewn about like some post-modernist art project gone wrong.

    Leaving the engin running, he exits the car and moves to its rear. He pulls open the door and carefully removes his still unconscious cargo, checking fastidiously for the boys pulse, and once satisfied, places the sagging body in the rear seat of the pickup truck. Seemingly unaffected by the sulfurous odor emanating from the decay-filled landfill, he allows a self-satisfied smirk to pass his lips as he returns to the station wagon and drives it to the landfill’s edge. He opens the door, revs the engine, and shifts the car into drive as he jumps out of the door, crashing to the ground and rolling away from the landfill’s lip. The car tumbles to the bottom of the crevice. The stranger turns away, still entertaining the uncomforting smirk, as he walks the short distance back to the waiting pickup and drives back to the highway. Now the fun part begins.

    High above Jasmine Drive, oblivious to the terror that has just come to pass below, two blue jays continue to soar. The male leads and the female follows as they twist, turn, and loft throughout their immense playground. All of a sudden, something catches his eye and the male undertakes a steep dive to just above the street. The female dives also but remains back as if awaiting some kind of signal from the male. He circles the street in front of the Wilkins’s house a couple of times before landing alongside a recently filled in pothole and hops toward something discarded a few feet from the curb. He examines the object and pushes at it with his beak. The female follows, but does not attempt to make contact with the long metallic object. He continues his examination, poking at the object and jumping back to view its reaction. After a minute or so, he picks up the object in his beak and carries it to a nest in a nearby elm tree. Once safely in the nest, the female begins her own investigation and pecks at the object until a dark oval piece of plastic comes loose. The male then starts pecking at the female and the two of them take flight and begin their high precision aerobatics as if they had never been interrupted.

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    btt

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    Next ten chapters, please....................................I'm waiting........altalt

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned
    Next ten chapters, please....................................I'm waiting........

    They're done in rough draft, but I have some more editing to do so I don't look like a grammatically and alphabetically challenged dork. But thanks!

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    Here's the rest of Chapter One - Taken

    Jenna Wilkins. Strong, confident, high school valedictorian; Of course she was Jenna Paulson back then, and She was Jenna Paulson-Wilkins when she graduated Magna Cum Laude from Berkeley. The years passed by and with them the hyphen and the Paulson until now she is just Jenna Wilkins; and Jenna Wilkins is not a person who loses control. She has lived the kind of life that young girls in pigtails daydream about, hell, successful women with ultra-promising careers dream of the kind of life Jenna has lived. At age 17, Jenna received a BMW 6 series convertible from her parents, as a graduation present. They paid for her liberal arts degree from Berkeley, they rented a condo for her throughout her college career, and they ensured that she received invitations to all the right Southern California gatherings and introductions to all the right Southern California people.

    During her sophomore year, on the first day of a highly coveted creative writing class, she met Jim Wilkins. Jim was going to be a poet, and not just a poet, but the new Longfellow, or the new Thoreau, or even the new Poe. She was going to be his Elizabeth Barrett Browning and support him while they waited for the fame that was certain to descend. That was sophomore year. Junior year saw Jenna Paulson engaged to the next Tom Cruise, and senior year saw her married to a future insurance executive. All three, poet, actor, and businessmen, were quiet, romantic, and dependable Jim Wilkins.

    Jim Wilkins, only son of Sonny Wilkins, the millionaire orange rancher, was everything Jenna ever wanted in a husband, except ambitious. Unlike his father, Jim proved to be a pussycat instead of a lion, and if it were not for birthdays, anniversaries, and un-occasioned bailouts from their parents, Jim and Jenna Wilkins would probably be living in a mortgaged-to-the hilt duplex, shopping in strip malls, and sharing a mini-van or, even worse, an American sedan. As it is, each year they lease a new Lexus or Mercedes or BMW 9 series. One year it is for him the next for her. Soon, she tells herself, it will be Rolls Royce’s and Bentleys, but for now, until Jim finds his grit, her Mercedes E320 will have to do.

    To say that Jenna has lead an easy, comfortable life is to say that Southern California has some wealth or that Santa Monica has some nice homes. Jenna Wilkins has had it so easy, that the thought of prayer or a higher power or, gasp, God, simply causes her to tear up with laughter over the pitiful people who need to rely on such trite and tired crutches of the emotionally weak. She is more surprised than anyone, therefore, to find herself on her knees, her youngest son, Jimmy, staring at her curiously, and raising her eyes to the skies, supplicating for assistance. She gazes up at the clouds, through them, and attempts to penetrate whatever is above and beyond. To penetrate to that place called heaven, where God is rumored to live and rumored to look down on terrified people, people like her, and offer assistance. “Please God, please let my baby come back. I know I’m not exactly your greatest fan, but if you are there, please, please help me out. I’ll do whatever you ask.”

    She glances around, looking for a burning bush or pillar of fire or some other sign that her prayer had traveled beyond her backyard, but not seeing a visible sign, she stands up and pulls Jimmy to her. “What did the man look like? What did the car look like? How old was he? What color was his hair? What color was the car?” She realizes that she is hysterical or very near it, and not giving her son a chance to answer. “The man, think closely Jimmy, what did the man look like?”

    “He was tall.”

    “What did his face look like?”

    “I dunno. He looked like a stranger.”

    “Think carefully Jimmy, what else do you remember about the man?”

    “Umm…”

    “What color was his hair? What color were his clothes?”

    “I’m not sure, but I think he had a shirt like Dad has, with flowers on it.”

    “Please Jimmy, Johnny needs our help, what else can you remember?”

    Jimmy ponders the questions for a second, puzzled, frustrated that he doesn’t have the answers, and signals his failure to communicate what he has seen by asking, “Mom, is Johnny OK?” The answer is in the tears still streaming down his Mom’s unusually weathered face. He starts to cry. “Who was that man? Where did he take Johnny?” Jimmy asks, tears rolling faster and faster down his cheeks. Finally, as if having an epiphany, he asks the question, “Mom, when is Johnny coming back?” The question stings, stings with poignancy, and begs an answer where none currently exists.

    The pain of Johnny’s innocent question provides a moment of clarity for Jenna and, as her head starts to clear, she realizes she is wasting precious time; time that may mean the difference between life and death for her oldest son. She reaches down and picks up Jimmy and holds him close to her as she dashes back into the house to call for help.

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