by ruined 25 Replies latest jw experiences
welcome.
I imagine the ones that don't speak to you feel you are bad association regardless of whether or not you are d/f. As soon as a person stops meeting attendance, many JWs will stop talking to them.
A simple test would be to confront one of the ones that don't talk to you. Ask them "why don't you talk to me, I am not d/f?" If you were, they will soon tell you, if you were not they will make up some lame excuse.
What hoops?
I've alway's assumed I was df'd the last time, because I didn't go to the elder's meeting, and my parents and siblings stopped talking to me.
But no one ever told me I was, and years later, I asked my dad if I was df'd because no one had ever told me. He said well "You should know"..I said "well I dont...I wasn't there if they announced it and I've never gotten a letter telling me I was." Evidently he didn't hear the anouncement either or didn't want to say...but He suggested I write or call the society and ask them,..... I said it wasn't that important...but I just wonder if I got word back from the society that I wasn't df'd would they suddenly start talking to me?
lisa
It's not that I'm thinking about going back, I just wonder what would happen if somebody did. They couldn't shun you because you haven't been df'd, unless you were df'd after you had da'd, which I was told occurred to a person I once knew, and that could open up legal issues. I bet that situation isn't handled in any of their rule books. Wouldn't that make a good "Questions From Readers" subject?
What hoops?
Going to the meetings regularly for several months while being shunned, before your application for reinstatement can even be considered. Having your every action scrutinized even more closely than before your disassociation. And if and when you are reinstated, you will have to re-earn your ''privileges'', such as answering at meetings, giving talks, etc. But I think that that this would apply only to those persons who sent in a DA letter. JW Facts has an excellent article about disfellowshipping and reinstatement.
Wouldn't that make a good "Questions From Readers" subject?
Perhaps. It depends on if you give any credence to the ''sacred pronoucements'' from the WTS.
And while you consider that, consider this: I have personally seen brothers and sisters going through the rigamarole of reinstatement, only to find the shunning continuing after they were reinstated!! For years!! Never have I witnessed such un-Christian, ungodly behavior before. Perhaps it was just the congregation that I was in -- I don't know. If anyone else has a similar story to tell, please share.
Yes, even after I was re-instated, the beatings continued. If the only reason you need to be back in for is your family, do it. Then stay the hell away and don't give them any more cause to persecute you again. They love to harrass people. Silent looks, the cold shoulder, making a wide berth when walkng towards you.
I went the viewing of my best friend when he died 2 years ago. I had been re-instated for a year. He wasn't jw, his wife was. Anyways, I saw an old friend, a sister that my mother had brought into the truth in the late 60's sitting there. so, I went over to her and extended my hand to her and she just sat there and turned her head away! I commented to her" My aren't we cordial in our old age".
Best advice , get back in and STAY AWAY!
nomoreguilt
Yes, even after I was re-instated, the beatings continued.
Ah nomoreguilt...*huggles* It makes me sad and mad to read that they treated you (or anyone) this way. That's one of the reasons why I left. This shunning stuff is EVIL.
As I recall, if the elders d/f somebody they are obliged to tell them. if you have never been told - assume that you are not...
if some do not speak, then they either think you are a "bad association, or they just may not like you! (sorry but....)
I am sure that Bethel keeps a list but also sure that they would never put it in writing to you...
Ignore it and let them get on with it.
Hi ruined, and welcome to JWD! My sincerest apologies for not noticing earlier that you are a fellow newbie like myself!
