Advice on making up with DF sister

by MissingLink 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    I've decided to ring my sister who I haven't talked to in 17 years because she's been disfellowshipped. I recently awoke from my drooling JW trance and realized what a shit I've been all these years.

    I plan to apologize first. After that I don't really know what to say. I'm really nervous about it.

    Any advice?

  • Simon
    Simon

    Don't think or plan or you may never get round to it.

    Just pick up the phone and say 'sorry'.

    BTW: I recently got in touch with my cousin that I haven't seen in about 20 years (y'know how you lose touch with non-JW family?) ... it was great. Just do it.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Just my advice:

    Apologize for being blind and following the WTS blindly.
    Tell her that the time wasted can never be regained.
    Say you aren't expecting anything from her, but hope to have
    a normal relationship from now on, so that no more time is
    wasted.

    Beyond that, it wouldn't be good to follow a script or anything.
    Y'all will just be blubbering or opening up and saying how you
    miss each other.

  • UU Now
    UU Now

    Tell her that you can't make up the time you've lost, but that you would like the two of you to be part of each other's lives from now on. Ask if her she'd like that, too. If she's reluctant, tell her that you understand why, tell her that you'll always be there if she changes her mind, and leave it to her to take the next step. If she wants to make up, too, make plans to get together somewhere, but take it slow and keep your expectations reasonable. It's possible that once you meet, it will be like you were never separated. But it's far more likely that it will take time to bridge the gap and get to know each other again. Give it time and stick with it. Good luck.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    oh yes, call her and tell her how you feel. Then let her feel how she feels - it might be resentment, or it might be love. But it's really loving of you to try to make up for lost time and to admit you were wrong.

  • Tara
    Tara

    I agree with everybody else. Apologize, ask her to forgive you for being blind and following the stupid WT rules, and tell her you want her back in your life. Good luck!

  • llbh
    llbh

    Hi miising link,

    Like every one else says, just do it. Be kind. Enjoy I bet they would love it

    llbh

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    Ditto what everyone else says. I did that with my DFed niece. Emailed her and said we were wrong and we were sorry for cutting her off all those years. We acknowledged it must have hurt her deeply. She was very gracious about it and we get together periodically.

  • delilah
    delilah

    I also agree....just do it!! You'll be glad you did, I'm sure!!

  • sspo
    sspo

    She will be very happy that you came to your senses about the "truth".

    Just hope she does not view it still as the the "truth".

    Some that have pulled away, still do.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit