How many of you were the wife of an elder? Please post your story here!

by averyniceguy 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  UU Now

  My husband was an elder, 10yrs before he stepped down. The reasons were cumulative but it all hit the fan when he was a visiting speaker at a neighboring congergation. Our son, 13 had cut his own hair, shaved the sides, normal on top. He showed he was sorry and the situation was resolved and we attended with dad to his speaking assignment. At our next meeting the other elders informed him that he would not be giving public talks until further notice. Why? A brother had complained about our son's haircut, too worldly - fadish, and that he did not have his own family in control so he could not teach others.

  Aside from the triviality of the whole issue, what exactly did they expect your husband to do after the boy had cut his hair? Shave his head? Nope, too faddish, might be mistaken for a skinhead. Make him wear a wig? Nope, too effeminate and vain.
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  tinker

  We should have spanked him with a rod and taken away his 'goin to meetin' privileges.
• 

  tinker

  oh....another 'hairy' story was when a CO came through and we had a young black brother w shaved head, aux pioneering. The CO said looked wordly and his pioneee application was to be withdrawn. They assigned my husband to the job and he refused......lots more drama over that.

  The entire black family became inactive over the issue, citing racial discrimination.
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  averyniceguy

  Keep it coming til a lurker gets here!
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  R.F.

  oh....another 'hairy' story was when a CO came through and we had a young black brother w shaved head, aux pioneering. The CO said looked wordly and his pioneee application was to be withdrawn. They assigned my husband to the job and he refused......lots more drama over that.

  The entire black family became inactive over the issue, citing racial discrimination.

  That's odd, and very stupid actually, because i've seen many black brothers with shaved heads with priveleges. My head was almost always very near completely shaved and I had priveleges. One CO that wants to be a stickler for his own made up rules can really ruin things for the Org.
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  BluesBrother

  I was an elder for many years and I certainly met up with similar problems to those cited here ...lots of things that I put up with at the time but I can see now were just politics and power playing.

  My wife always wanted me to do it, because it was the "right thing to do" and seen as service to God , but she did not have to put up with it all, I eventually got off the treadmill but it was not easy.

  I am sure that our marriage suffered, particularly at the beginning when we should have put each other first with quality time, instead of keeping up the routine....
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  UU Now

  That's odd, and very stupid actually, because i've seen many black brothers with shaved heads with priveleges. My head was almost always very near completely shaved and I had priveleges.

  And a lot of men start shaving their heads when they start losing their hair. Why is it okay to go bald naturally but not to hasten the process?

  My oldest brother, who's been balding since he was in his 20s (he's about 60 now), started shaving his head a few years ago. Hasn't stopped him from reading the Watchtower on Sundays at his congo.
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  averyniceguy

  BTTT
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  uwishufish

  I think it has to do with the shape of the bald persons head. If it resembles a phalic symbol with ears in the COs eyes then it is a no no but then again if no resemblence is apparent then its ok.