Serenity, thats so not true!! LOL. Even the worst Elder bodies I've heard about, them being in it for the punany wasn't part of the rumor mill. I know of a couple gay Elders who got caught, but I haven't heard any stories of womanizers. Most Elders are older cats with families anyway. The only exceptions I can think of would be ones with potential of being womanizers are those who are coming out of MTS school. Now they, have their pick of the litter.
Sticking with this thread topic, had I remained a Ministerial Servant, I probably wouldn't have ever been posting on this site. Ever since getting appointed, I've been asking myself where I went wrong. It's the most eye opening event sitting in on your first Elder's meeting. You think you're going to change the world. Next thing you know, you've wasted a half hour to forty five minutes arguing over maintenance decisions. Then there's internal politics. This Elder doesnt like that Elder. This Elder is close friends with that Elder's family. This other Elder is married to the first Elder's daughter. The daughter was disfellowshipped 10 years ago, and the 2nd Elder mentioned feels that the other Elders on the Judicial Committee went too hard on her. And he's been resentful of it ever since. This other Elder is upset because the Ministerial Servant he's been grooming isn't qualified in the other Elder's eyes. Its kind of irritating trying to navigate within people's old animosities and petty beefs. Some of these beefs have been existant for 20 years. Grumpy Old Men who've been serving together as Elders for far too long.
Another thing I hate, is that people look up to you to some degree, or expect you to be some glittering example. They want their kids to be like Bro.Misery. Handful of years ago, I got talked into doing an interview on a district convention. I was still a MS at the time. I hated doing that. I don't ever want to talk about myself as if I'm somebody, ever. Especially not in front of several thousand people in a arena. Since being appointed, that spotlight is on me all the time. People coming to me with problems that I don't always have the answer to. Married people seeking my two cents. I've never been married, and haven't been in a serious relationship since high school!! What do I know about marital problems?!?!? Parents who are having trouble with their teenage children, come to me for help, since I'm younger than most serving. What makes me sad is often I want to tell them, "I'm sorry, but your kids will leave the truth. Don't feel bad, because 2/3 of JW children leave at some point or another." But no, I maintain the company protocol.
The worst part as of now though, is knowing the truth about The Troof. I'm a hypocrite. Some days I worry I might slip up and verbalize my reservations on this organization to the wrong person and I'll end up in a committee meeting. My folks know my beefs, but not completly. If I really laid it out there, my mom would turn me in a heartbeat. If I got df'd for apostacy, it would literally kill my father. Speaking of which, growing up all he did was complain about being an Elder. He still complains about it. I asked him about the upcoming Elder school which we just got a letter on. He said to me, "its the same ol crap. It's the same crap they told us years ago right after you were born! The new book they're sending us, will be the same as the last book! You watch!" I told him, "how'd you sucker me into this Elder mess? I feel like you hoodwinked me getting me into this."
One thing I'm happy about though, is the younger generation of males coming up smells the BS, and aren't reaching out. I tip my hat to them for that.
