Its funny this post reminded me of how difficult I make my life to not make my family uncomfortable. Mind you, I haven't attended KH since 1999. Last month (November) I had a costume party. (being that my fam is JW active, I did the party so the kids could dress up in costumes). They mentioned to me wanting to dress up in costumes. Even I struck a deal with my kid not to take her trick or treating if we had this party. (I was afraid my mom would find out.) Last year I had the guts to put up an xmas tree on xmas eve and we took it down 3 days later. (I was afraid my mom would stop by).
So yes, I am afraid, I can't imagine my world without my mom in it. My mother has been a steadfast JW since 1959, she's 62. Growing up we never missed a meeting. She was a single mom and did the best she could with us (which I think was pretty darn good) and I sometimes think that celebrating any holiday is a betrayal to her. But then not letting my daughter experience the "magic" is a betrayal to her childhood...
My huband, a non- confirmed catholic thinks Im a coward. H doesn't understand the hold she has on me, for god's sake Im a woman with my own life and home. Why should she have so much power over me????
Maybe because I "tore out her heart and did the mexican hat dance on it when I got disfellowshipped for "fornication" with my boyfriend come husband at the young age of 17. I remember how hurt she was, she even grasped at her clothing, like a figure from the old testament. I can't bear to do that to her again and yet"...
here we are debating about when to put up the tree, I haven't gotten the nerve to put it up yet. Last year was on impulse, this year, I don't know. She already said she won't be coming over if I do it, I figured I should tell her that my husband and I were "thinking about it". Does anyone have any advice they could share? THanks.
