OnTheWayOut - I believe that theory somewhat, but yet, somewhat not. Yes, I will admit, my heart is very involved, I invested 3 years of time and love into her, hoping it would become us. Am I ready to walk away right now? Yes I am. After 3 times, I have to just be blunt with myself, and tell myself this is over. If I keep any hope inside of me, I will wait for her, because that is the type of person I am, I am loyal and belong to only one person, so if I convince myself there is hope, I am shutting out the rest of the world, and waiting for something that might not ever happen.
Imagine me waiting years and years, because I kept hope, then one day I wake up and realize I am old, alone, and cold, and ive wasted the best years of my life by myself. Now it can go either way, it would be better for my mental health if I kept hope, and to a certain degree there is nothing wrong with hoping, but after 3 times, I guess I am beyond discouraged. I am 99% sure she has moved on, and no longer loves me, and probably likes some other guy.
I will look into those books.
Caedes - she has told me many times that it is not me, I did nothing wrong, she said the only reason she turns me away, is because it hurts her to much to try and make things work with me, because I am not a witness. She always said, I need a witness, and I guess I always hoped she would see, we could have made it work.
I am going on vacation in 3 months time, roughly, and I will be staying in the city she lives in for about 3 or 4 days, if she has not called me by then, in everyones opinon, do you think I would be wise to try and call her up and ask her if she wants to come hang out or something?
Or do I play the old, hard to get, and wait for a call or sign that may never come?
Hi all, I am new, found a JW
by -Tank 46 Replies latest social relationships
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-Tank
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NewLight2
"I am going on vacation in 3 months time, roughly, and I will be staying in the city she lives in for about 3 or 4 days, if she has not called me by then, in everyones opinon, do you think I would be wise to try and call her up and ask her if she wants to come hang out or something?
Or do I play the old, hard to get, and wait for a call or sign that may never come?"
Take your time making that choice. Continue to read JWD and those books that were mentioned. Study them. Learn all you can about cult mind control issues.
When the time comes, I'm sure you will have your answer. It may be that her 'faith in the Organization' is shaky but her love for her family is strong. Many JW's stay 'in' just so that they will not be df'd and lose all contact with family members. That type of situation would be easier for you to make your wish come true. But she is unlikely to admit her lack of 'faith' to you at this time. You might also want to invite her move to your city and offer to help her find employment and a place to live. You might even suggest another female that she could room with to make it more affordable for her. But DO NOT suggest that the two of you move in together. This would only make her feel guilt.
NewLight2 -
jgnat
I am going on vacation in 3 months time, roughly, and I will be staying in the city she lives in for about 3 or 4 days, if she has not called me by then, in everyones opinon, do you think I would be wise to try and call her up and ask her if she wants to come hang out or something? Or do I play the old, hard to get, and wait for a call or sign that may never come?
Oh, honey. You are just as I imagined. If you called her up out of the blue like that, do you know what I think she would do? She'd go out with you! You would have a wonderful time, and then she would break up with you again. Because deep down, I think she is as attracted to you as you are to her. It's just that, well, her upbrining, conditioning, family, religion and her god are all more powerful than her love for you.
I'd suggest you take up the suggestions I first offered on this thread. Instead of playing "hard to get", be "not gonna be me."
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Carmel
...the only advice I can offer is for you to download Skype if you continue to communicate with her. At least you'll save a few hundred bucks a month which you can save up for counciling when you finally realized you're nuts! carmel
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ESTEE
((((Tank))))
Her head and her heart are having a battle. Sad thing is you are caught in the middle.
Your lady is in a dangerous cult.
Take care of yourself, Tank.
ESTEE
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-Tank
So much good advice, so many different ways I can approach this and different options I can choose.
Right now I am just living life day by day, whatever happens, happens, I am just workin and making money, love is out the window.
Thanks again all! -
av8orntexas
Sounds like typical JW dating to me. Indecision and head games thrown in the mix, sadly.