they don't talk to me ,well at least my mom still talks to me but certain things, aside from that, no communication. thanks for ur support i really appreciate all of urs replies.
Hi guys i'm a newbie
by The Dark Side 23 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
JK666
TheDarkSide,
Welcome to JWD!
Talking to family and friends that are still in the Borg can be extremely frustrating. Just do not force it too much, because they will become defensive. As others have said, read some of the "best of" section on the board, and ask questions in a separate topic. You will be amazed at the response.
JK
-
eclipse
Hey Darkside!
I don't think there is any way to tell your family that you are never returning to ''the troof'', without them being dissapointed.
Just tell them that you love them, and that you hope that they realize one day why you have made the decision to not come back.
Reading the 'best of' section is a great suggestion!
-
momzcrazy
Did your family watch the news last night?
momzcrazy
-
mouthy
Hi Dark Side -
Welcome to JWD! Some one said welcome to the NUT HOUSE well I am one of the nuts. But you will find we are a really good group who love each other unconditionally.... I dont know how to reach them either my daughter & grand-daughter dont speak to me either. Hang in there show them real love that helps (((HUGS)))
-
Lady Liberty
Dear the Dark Side...
WELCOME to the forum, and Happy Thanksgiving!! We look forward to hearing more from you!!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
-
The Dark Side
thanks again for ur support it really mean a lot to me, thanks and love to y'all.
-
Balsam
Dear Darkside,
I'm a Mom who left the witnesses first in my family. At the same time I left my JW husband and divorced him after 30 years of marriage because of the death of one of our sons. Our son had been involved in an auto accident after the Sunday meeting when he was riding home from the Kingdom Hall with another JW boy. Dak was terribly injured as a passenger and was bleeding internally. He needed blood and his Dad refused blood to save his live and I remained mute like a coward. Dak died after 3 1/2 hrs of Doctors trying to save him. In the end the hosptial over rules us and gave Dak blood trying to save him, but the blood loss for such a long time was profound and he didn't survive.
http://www.mem.com/Story.aspx?ID=9894 Dak McGill's life
My trust in the organization was broken and no amount of talk could repair my new way of looking at this death dealing organization called JW's. When I left in time my other two sons age 18 and 13 eventually left, I told them they must do what feels right to them. I told them also I would explain anything they wanted explain as to why I was leaving their Dad and the religion. It took time but they did ask finally and I told them. My youngest son has come to hate the religion and his Dad's clinging to it after Dak died. My oldest son has cut himself off from the religion and today both boys are disfellowshipped just as I am. Their Dad continues in the witnesses with a new wife. This new wife hates them for their turning away from the religious cult. I'm very close to my sons and my youngest son lives near me and their step-father now who has been so good to him.
As for tips on getting people out here is what worked for partially:
You can't share more than they are willing to listen too. If they say I can't listen to this then stop, never force the issue because it only makes them frightened of you. Avoid open criticism of the organization because they will tune you out. If you use other religious cults as examples of things that happen use that it keeps it from being so personal and direct. If you have siblings encourage them to read George Orwell's books "1984" and "The Animal Farm" both talk about cult like control of thinking. I often used examples of things that were similar with Mormon faith, or any high control religious organization like the Pentecostal faith that made ridged rules for their adherents to live by.
Ruth (Balsam)
-
drew sagan
Welcome to the board!
any word of advice on how can i tell them the truth without them getting dissapointed?
They have to eventually come to that on their own. You can be there to guide them along the way, but there is not argument that will win them over. It's more about them 'giving up' the Witnesses than simply changing their mind with new evidence.
-
sweetstuff
Welcome DarkSide, I wish I knew the way to get your family out, if you find it, please come talk to mine. I've already set my relationship with my family on very rocky ground with things I have said to them and its very clear, any more and they will shun me, so it is a tough road to walk, say nothing and suffer, tell them your peace and lose them, in most cases.
I've tried to find a happy medium and accept the fact that my parents will more than likely never leave the org. I think they'd be completely lost, after dedicating, gag, gag, their entire life to it. So, I try to maintain some relationship at a distance. And hope against hope, the small seeds I plant here and there during conversations, someday bear fruit. But I won't be holding my breath either.
Hugs to Balsam too, very touching story. I am so so sorry for your loss.