So, I found out today that my whole family, that is Mother, Older brother wife and child, older sister and husband, younger brother and wife have gone away together for a week.
Previously I would have been right in the center of all that. This time I didn't even know until after they'd gone. Cant say it doesn't hurt, what a punch to the gut. And all the scriptures about love amongst themselves and no natural affection come to mind, only applied the other way around.
I texted my mum to say have a lovely time, and how nice it was having the whole family there, and she obviously picked up the sarcasm and sent one back saying they all missed me. In my head I can picture them talking about me and shaking heads and hoping the tough love will work.
I sent her one back saying I am just grateful my own children will never feel that kind of rejction and that it re-affirms to me that I made the right choice. (I have faded, am not DAd of DFd but family know my strong feelings)
My knee jerk reaction is to just send in my DA letter. I feel it would give me the freedom to actually live, and show them that I am not going to be convinced back in to the fold. I could also put up that tree!!
I have very little contact with my siblings, they are all rock solid pioneers and elders etc, it's mostly my mum I hang on for as she is older and not in good health. I also dont give up hope that in years to come my siblings may see the light, especially as that ever promised end, doesn't actually arrive.
Feeling very sorry for myself, and need some sympathy!