So it would appear that the general consensus is to call the ex jw person at around the time of their birthday and somehow acknowledge the day, but never ever say Happy Birthday.... bizarre...
Thanks for all the lovely messages everyone - I had a lovely day yesterday and got spoiled by my friends and family. This birthday is a bit of a milestone for me... I have made a few kind of "new decade" resolutions to mark this birthday ... to try and be more me and less what everyone wants me to be... I am not wasting another day on feeling guilty about choices and decisions I have made which others dont agree with... I have made a career change which I intend to be the door opener for great things... I am going to study next year, which my new company will pay for... oh... and I am going to get thin ...