Just spoke w/ Elders Pls Help

by thepackage 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • thepackage
    thepackage

    I just got a call from an Elder from my old KH, I have not been to meeitngs since April 2007. I recently took my daughter to thier first B-Day party, (their cousin), anyways, they want to ask if I celebrate B-day now. I told them i'd speak with them later. So, since i ahve been inactive since April can they DF me??????

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Of course.

    They can track you down and disfellowship you YEARS after fading, for any trumped-up charge they feel like using.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Buried in a WT somewhere there is some rubbish about you not being able to call yourself a 'Witness' if you'd not been in service for a year. I used that but April's not a year. I also used 'I'm sorry, I was wrong, I repent' approach, which means they should let you off, and then just carry on not going afterwards. Which I also used. Or lie, and say you hadn't been told it was a BD party but how you didn't want to cause a scene and no birthday gifts were given or cake eaten.

    I had reasons to fade (family). If you don't you could always just tell them to go copulate themselves.

  • thepackage
    thepackage

    I know my Ex-Wife is trying to get me DF. ALso, I've let my beard go (nicely i might add!!!). I think i'm just going to ly like a rug!!!!!!! But, what if i don't speak w/ them any more????? Can they DF me if they do not talk w/ me????

  • uninformed
    uninformed

    Package,

    you sound like you don't want to get the df. I can understand with family connections and all. But, the rewards of being out of the elders sphere of influence and investigation is totally rewarding.

    If they want to discuss birthdays, I would simply ask them what Bible verses specifically condemn birthdays.

    Since there are none, tell them that you are having a difficult time understanding their reasoning, and it has left you very perplexed why they would make such a big deal out of a non-Biblical issue.

    If it gets nasty, tell them you thought there had been a change, since the WT Society celebrated the 50th Birthday of the United Nations.

    Best of all good things to you.

    Brant

  • restrangled
  • BrentR
    BrentR

    A PO's wife in my old cong. owned a cake decorating business and 80% of her sales were making b-cakes. I always wondered how she got away with it.

  • Trevanian
    Trevanian

    I don't think you should lie.

    I don't think you should explain your facial hair. Please.

    I think you should be proud that you're being a good father and letting your daughter interact with her relatives.

    Stand up proudly when you take their phone call (don't sit; don't be intimidated), and ask kindly: "Why are you calling me exactly?"

    After these grown men mutter and mumble about birthday parties, say: "If you don't mind, I'm going to say goodbye to you now."

  • Fleur
    Fleur
    A PO's wife in my old cong. owned a cake decorating business and 80% of her sales were making b-cakes. I always wondered how she got away with it.

    How did she get away with it? She was the PO's wife- that's why. PO's hold a lot of power- their kids never seem to get DF'd not matter what they do- and they can make great 'allowances' for things such as the above mentioned cakes if it means money in their pocket, which in this case, it did. Just like if a PO wants you df'd- no matter what you do or say, you will be DF'd. I know this from personal experience. They can DF you whether you talk to them or not. Sounds like you got caught doing something that may bring your fade to an abrupt end. Keep posting- you may find your best support here on this forum for whatever happens next.

    Good luck essie

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    People have been d/f 10 years after their last meeting. As others have said though, to be d/f is very liberating, despite all the hurt and drawbacks that it causes.

    If you do not want to be d/f it is best to say as little as possible. However, in your case it will be very difficult, as your ex wife sounds like she will be busy relaying to the elders all the dirt on you that she can get hold of from the kids.

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