My sisters wedding...

by zamora251978 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek

    zamora251978:

    First of all I want to thank you with all my heart for doing everything for the ceremony.

    Well, not all her heart apparently.

    It really means a lot to me.

    But not as much as what "Brother L*****" thinks.

    I talked to R**** and A***** about you and the kids being able to go to the wedding. I told them how I felt and what I thought. They said that they talked to el brother l***** and he said that you're only allowed to go to the ceremony.

    This is passing the blame. It is your sister's choice whether to invite you to her wedding or not. Whoever "Brother L*****" is, he's not in a position to "allow" you to do anything.

    I feel really bad and I don't know what to do cuz I know that you said you won't go to the ceremony if you can't go to the reception.

    It's hard not to know what to do when there are only two simple options: invite you or uninvite you.

    I just want you and the kids to know that I love yall with all my heart .

    One would think that would make the decision easier.

    this doesn't mean i am going to stop talking to you.

    How big of her.

    i love you and the kids and i always will.

    Yes, yes, with all her heart. Just not enough to invite you to her wedding.

    just write me back when you can. please don't call me because i don't want to cry anymore . love you

    It's obviously greatly upset your sister, and at least she is conflicted. There's some hope in that she hasn't come out and said that you're not invited, it just seems she doesn't have the courage to do what she knows is right rather than obey some power-hungry little turd.

    I think I would reply asking her to clarify if you are invited or not and remind her that it's her decision. I would make her say exactly what she has chosen - and make no mistake, it is her choice. Whether to go or not if you're demoted to second-class guest is a tricky one. Don't rule it out but make sure she knows how disappointed you are with her moral cowardice.

  • zamora251978
    zamora251978

    Hey Georgiegirl,

    Your idea is awesome. I am definitley doing that... I can't wait to see what happens. After we got kicked out of her engagment party my mother decided to give my kids some left over cake Monday after school. I talked to them and said the next time something like that happens to tell her "NO THANK YOU GRANDMA AS YOUR GRANDSON I DESERVE MORE THAN LEFTOVERS, BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY" I hope that gets her where it hurts.

    Lulu

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    This elder that is laying down the law to your sister is one of the "Hitler" types by the sound of it. There was one just like him in a congregation that I used to go to, and guess what? He was eventually disfellowshipped himself.

    He has no scriptural grounds to give your sister for telling her not to invite you to the reception, so she needs to know this.

    I really hope she changes her mind for both of you.

    Maddie

  • zamora251978
    zamora251978

    funkyderek,

    you are so right. I am going to read the book by ray franz "crisis of concience" someone told me that it will help alot.

  • oppgirl63
    oppgirl63

    Unbelievable.... You deserve better than this.

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    I'm so sorry.

    I've missed three weddings since my da/df (i tried to DA and they df'd me anyway) cousins who were closer to me than my own sisters.

    It breaks your heart, every damned time. They wouldn't even have me at the ceremony.

    My ex (abuser) was in two of those three weddings- btw, standing up in them.

    They have no true sense of morals, these people.

    I'm so sorry for your pain, I have been there.

    hugs

    essie

  • mentalclearness
    mentalclearness

    I don't understand why you can't go. She isn't baptized yet, right? And neither is her fiancee? She should consult with another elder. And ask for some bible and literature backing for what he says. If he can't show any than your sister should be able to have you at her reception without any guilt.....I would call the idiot elder on it!!!

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    I'm going out on a limb and make a prediction:

    If your sister and future bil are not baptized by now, they are already on their way out, imo. If this incident

    goes down the way you are predicting and the way the elder insists, it will be a nail in her JW coffin hopefully.

  • zamora251978
    zamora251978

    Thank you Essie...I feel like right now I just need alot of support. You guys are the only ones who truly understand the way that I feel. I am so happy to have my friends that support me too. They are like my family. They are my family..

    Lulu

  • dawg
    dawg

    God da^$ their callousness makes me mad as hell! Its like you have the freaking plague or something... they're so self rightous... This defines this forum to me, we're all here pissed at the crazy unexplainable crap that's happened to us-it's so unbelieveable-it's so crazy that we're having a hard time beleiveing it ourselves...

    not one day goes by where I'm not asking "what the hell"? I mean seriously, the FADS are fools and its just that simple. Then to read of the Hitler's who are in every congregation. Fools! Fools! Hard to believe that Chrsit wouldn't want a sister to go to another's wedding... Maybe they're afraid you'll committ apostacy or fornication in their mists. I mean really? WHat the hell?

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