My sisters wedding...

by zamora251978 53 Replies latest jw experiences

  • zamora251978
    zamora251978

    Below is a copy of the e-mail my sister sent me. I had to make arrangements for my kids to be babysat somewhere else until after the wedding. There little hearts are broken. My seven year old says that the bible teaches love not hate.. Bear in mind my sister is not baptized nor her soon to be husband. They were told they cannot marry in the kingdom hall because of this. Now I guess they can only invite who the elder, brother L**** says can come. Apparently, this means I only have permission for the ceremony. I paid for the hall where they will actually have the ceremony. I'm so upset. Luly, First of all I want to thank you with all my heart for doing everything for the ceremony. It really means a lot to me. I talked to R**** and A***** about you and the kids being able to go to the wedding. I told them how I felt and what I thought. They said that they talked to el brother l***** and he said that you're only allowed to go to the ceremony. I feel really bad and I don't know what to do cuz I know that you said you won't go to the ceremony if you can't go to the reception.. I just want you and the kids to know that I love yall with all my heart . this doesn't mean i am going to stop talking to you. i love you and the kids and i always will... just write me back when you can. please don't call me because i don't want to cry anymore . love you

  • Bobbi
    Bobbi

    GIve me her number!! i'll explain in no uncertain terms what she should do. Also I think I need ELDER A**HOLE's number as well.

    Personally, I would go to the ceremony and the reception.


    Bobbi(oh crap I think Cranky Bobbi is back)

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    I hurt for both you and your sister. She obviously loves you very much and she is probably so torn up and

    confused right now. This religion/cult is horrible. On a day that should include all friends and family coming together

    to do one thing -- celebrate the joy of two people joining their lives together in matrimony -- the ignorant, stupid,

    self-righteous, holier-than-thou, rule-making, asshole Jehovah's Witness elder has to spoil it. What does the idiot

    think you're going to do? Get up on the podium and preach apostasy?!

    I would go to the ceremony. Then, I would show up at the reception discreetly toward the middle of it. By then, everybody

    will have had their opportunity to express their well wishes to the bride and groom and grab the goodies offered. But I would

    be "DAMNED" if that piece of s**t elder would take that life's celebration away from me. You have a RIGHT as her sister to

    share in that celebration. When the opportunity is gone, it's gone. I would not be robbed of it. But I would do it very discreetly

    and without a lot of attention. Even if you have to slip on a wig and different dress, I would WITNESS that special event in her life.

    God, how I hate this CULT!

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    Cranky Bobbi......Go Get Em!!!!!

    Geez....now, this whole situation is OBNOXIOUS!!!

    I am so sorry!

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Is this "Brother L" (L = looks down his nose) supposed to conduct the ceremony?

    Why not just have a justice of the peace do it, since it won't be a Kingdom Hall wedding anyway? Zamora, it's apparent your sister wants you there -- and isn't the wedding day the bride's special day? Who made it the elder's day? So can't you make sure your sister's wishes are met? Since you're paying, and it's your sister's day, there's no way in hell your kids should be barred from coming.

    What can brother looks-down-his-nose do if you bring your kids anyway, against his wishes? Scream and make himself look the fool?

    - Fuming Gopher

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    r u df-ed

    cos even if you are you are still allowed to go to both.

    the jw thinking on weddings is that others in the cong may choose not to go if you are df-ed and attend..but the fact is most don't care cos it's a party..they prolly will just ignore you for the evening but don't for one minute think that they won't enjoy themselves..

    but if you are not baptised then none of this applies anyway

    get her to ask the elder for the wt info he is basing his decision on.

    if she decides to invite you and he says he wont officiate then get someone else to

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent
    he said that you're only allowed to go to the ceremony.

    This part made me want to puke. I fully agree with Gopher, this is about the Bride and Groom, no one else should have the power to veto who attends or doesn't. This epitomizes why this religion is a cult... they have a grip and power over every aspect and detail in everyone's life. Those not in power can't sneeze without permission. How stupid is it that it even has to be a discussion whether or not loving family members can attend??? Like you're an escaped felon or something.

    I *would* call her. She already knows in her heart this isn't right, and she's afraid to speak to you in person because of it.

  • 4mylove
    4mylove

    I went through this twice this year. First with the hubby's brother then the sister. At the first one we weren't acknowledged, at the second, they needed someone to walk the mom in law down the aisle, which you would assume would be the oldest son, (my hubby). He wasn't worthy for so many reasons, 1. he's inactive, 2. married a non jw, 3. showing no intention of returning, unbeknownst to them.

    I know how this hurts.

    4

  • Georgiegirl
    Georgiegirl

    Send the elder a copy of your sister's email along with the bill for the reception hall. Since he feels he can dictate who can and cannot go, he can pay for it. Better yet, since YOU are paying for it, email your sister and tell her he is not "allowed" to come.

    They can't do a damn thing about this because she's not baptized. How scary that she's blindly obeying.

  • zamora251978
    zamora251978

    I had gone to her engagment party with my fiance' and my children. That elder L like someone said Looks-down-his-nose told me that my prescence was not welcome and that I should remove myself. I am on the stance that I do not want to ruin it for my sister but I also know that anytime she looks at a family or friend that is not J-dub and that is at the wedding and asks, "where is lulu?" what will she answer? My family who is not J-dub knows the situation but some of them plan on still asking that very question... I have never been invited to my parents for dinner or anything similar to meet my fiance'. Apparently I am not allowed to bring him to the house either to meet his future in-laws. I am trying to concentrate now on my wedding and making sure that this will be a happy occasion for me and my family that loves me unconditionally (not including my J-dub family which is mom (baptised pioneer), 1 baptised sister (who commited fornication and took another sister's husband away, who is now married to her and they all attend the same congregation and they are all going to the wedding because they have repented and are now back in the truth) 2 sisters who are unbaptised publishers and 1 brother who just attends the meetings because of mom. My father well he just gets told what to do by my mom. Everyone else like aunts uncles, cousins are all catholic. Well I guess that just shows how religion divides families. I hope my sister thinks long and hard before she decides to "dedicate herself to the GB"....

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