My mother......sheesh! (page 3)

Gopher

"I love you,.... but" isn't an apology. She's just sorry for the consequences of her writing the letter, and that you're making those consequences stick. The whole purpose of the call was to try to sway you back to the JW's, and she should know better. I didn't think JW's were supposed to have spiritual contact with unbelieving family members anyway.

Number 6

Sounds 100% like my mother...

'I love you....but' is in essence the entire jw-non jw family relationship in a few words. 'I love you..but your not a jw'

With ones own flesh and blood it should be 'I love you.. no matter what'

I got so sick of my mothers mind games and having to walk on egg shells lest i offend her religious view that 3 years ago i pressed the nuclear button and told her and my step-father to piss off and never contact me or my children again unless they were no longer jw's. Needless to say I haven't heard from them since... and you know what.. I like it that way.

If they are going to choose that religious cult over their own flesh and blood then the loss is entirely their's and my family and I are better off without them.

Craig

erynw

But because you will not accept Jehovah I'm torn between doing what is right and being in your life.

There is no decision to be torn between. She has the classic WT crap in her head. When is it ever right to shun your family? To choose an organization over your own flesh and blood? Her statement, as a mother, should have been: "But because I'm afraid to leave the authority of the WTB&TS behind, I can not do what is right which is be in your life." I'm sorry you are hurting over this. All of my good thoughts to you and your family.

new boy

Good job NJ

Your mother sounds like my "Nazis Jw Mother" too.

You got it. We can only pray that someday they will too.

Quandry

she had the nerve to call me today and leave an urgent message for me to call her.

She may have figured if she didn't say it was urgent you might not have returned the call.

I feel bad for mom. I was a witless for over thirty years. I know that if my daughter had not been treated so horrifically by a JC I might still be "in" and having the same situation.

Let's face it. Mom is a good, company woman. She is trying to do what she feels is right. But she obviously loves you. She is so torn and conflicted inside.

I was a hardline JW. I always looked down on those who had some contact with df'd relatives. I thought they were disloyal not "following the rules" as I always followed the rules.My husband was an elder, I sat in front, cleaned the KHall faithfully, bought a four door car, always offered to drive, took every assignment, never watched "bad" TV shows or movies, went to meetings when sick, no education, menial work, etc. etc. ad naseum.....

I am glad you simply told mom you love her and want her to love you. Keep it up. Never say mean things and have them be the last words spoken to your mom. Life is short and things happen.

tribalgirl

Sorry to see yet another good person dealing with this kind of crap.

Es

Big hugs, I think one of the most frustrating things is that we can see that they are brainwashed and its so hard to break through that. They are just so unreasonable and it does your head in.

es

skeeter1

I can't tell you how many similar conversations with my parental units I've had over the years.

Ditto.

Skeeter

LisaRose

My mom was pretty much the same. Even when I was a JW, I was never a good enough one for her. She had 6 kids, of which only 1 was active when she died. I went to see her after I left and before she passed away. We had a good visit, then she sent me a letter saying she enjoyed the visit but couldn't talk to me anymore. So I didn't call, then I hear she upset because I never call. Then she passes away. I loved her but frankly I didn't miss her that much. It was just crazy making. I understood that she felt conflicted (she loved me, but due to Watchtower brainwashing, felt guilty talking to me). But really, make a stand and stick to it. Talk to me, or don't, but don't keep going back and forth. I have to say she never wrote a letter as nasty as the one your mom wrote. Sheesh is right! I'd send it right back to her and ask if she thinks this is a Christian way to handle things. It's just rude and hatefull.

ex-nj-jw

Hey everyone,

I wasn't ignoring my thread or your responses. After my lovely evening with the hubby i didn't log on, but when I did I was consumed with the Trev/Linda fiasco, WTF????

But anyway - I have told my mom that if she can't speak to or see me without being rude and nasty not to call me or contact me. I've done my part by not contacting her, per her request. The only reason I did call her back is because she sounded as though there was an emergency - My dad is still alive but is sickly, she's not in the best of health and I have a son as well as other relatives that live in the same state. I live clear across the contry from them, so if there is something wrong I do want to know.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm upset or crying or heartbroken. She does find a way to get under my skin, but I'm 42 years old I've been out for 24 years and there is nothing that she can do or say that hasn't been done before. I basically have a place to vent these feelings now (JWD and you guys) so that's why I posted it. You never know if someone else is going thru or have been thru the same type of situation and it's nice to know that you are not alone. Maybe my way of handling my mother can help someone else or at least make that person know that they are not the crazy one (maybe).

So thanks for all your replies!

nj

My mother......sheesh!

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