by nvrgnbk 40 Replies latest jw friends
For me, there was no transformation.
I've always been a peaceful person who is regarded by all as a straight shooter.
When I found out the WT had lied and deceived us, I left.
I don't hate the JW's I left behind. My 18-year old daughter is still in.
My hope is to see all of them walk into the waiting fold of the Good Shepherd.
Until that time, I will continue to do whatever I can to expose the WT's deceptions, because their deception is what I truly hate.
Sylvia
nvr...,
The transformation from evil JW to freedom-fighter XJW- Instantaneous?
To be honest, I do not see these definitions in terms of mutual exclusivity. It seems to be that a crackpot JW does not become a rational XJW, and that often those who led challenging lives as JW's are often just as challenged as XJW's.
I think that if you were to be allowed a glimpse into the life of some of the more agressive and obsessed XJW's you would note that they have changed little from the time that they were agressive and obsessed JW's - they have merely redirected and transferred their issues.
I repudiate what the WTS stands for but hold no issue with any individual JW, even those who sought to cause me harm, of which there were a number. I have to admit though, that the social insanity that I saw as a Witness is in many ways not too many steps removed from what I see going on in the XJW world sometimes.
I am pleased to say that at this stage I feel neither a JW, nor an XJW but just me.
HS
I feel neither a JW, nor an XJW but just me.
That's the goal.
Nvr said:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/144377/2599370/post.ashx#2599370
I guess those of us that don't want to see every last JW strung up and lit on fire are not being reasonable.
I took a look at that thread and ran some numbers. Of the posters on that thread, I put them into three categories:
Those who are supportive of JWs who stay in & try waking up their families: 16,
Those who didn't comment specifically (since that wasn't really the thread topic): 9
Those who are at least somewhat critical of the "staying in to try waking up family" path: 5
Those numbers come out pretty close to the numbers I got when I started a thread specifically for the purpose of seeing where people stand on the whole idea of staying in for family and still trying to get them out.
Of course, I'm not going to make life-changing decisions based solely on a quick straw-poll done on a discussion board. I appreciate all points of view as long as they're presented in a civil manner, which they usually are around here.
However, the question of where I spend a fair amount of my time "hanging out" IS affected by the majority. If JWD ever becomes overwhelmingly unfriendly to those who stay in for family, I'd probably hang out somewhere else.
Open Mind
I like Nvr's opening comments. Hate the game, not the players.
If you feel that a practice of a corporation or Governmental system is racially unethical, don't hate the
minority that uses the unethical situation to get a good job or promotion. Hate the rule that allows it.
Most others would do the same thing in their place.
If you hate the huge salaries of professional athletes compared to teachers and social workers, don't
hate the professional athletes. You would probably accept their huge salary to do what they do, or
accept it to do what you already do. Hate the system in place that allows that to happen.
If you hate what WTS is doing, show love for the folks caught in their web like you once were. Don't
hate them. They are doing what you once did.
I have a bit of bitterness toward only one JW, the C.O. who totally showed no care and concern for me.
Still, he's just caught in their web. If he asked for my help, I would help him get out of the mind prison.
Still, if he tried to disfellowship me, I wouldn't dream of doing anything that makes a former member look
like an evil person to him. I wouldn't scratch his (WTS-owned) car and I wouldn't have my German Shepherd
attack him.
Nice post, Nvr.
Obviously my comment in the other thread was misunderstood. I used Skally as a reference because she is the most vocal about the quick exit. I do not hold all JWs in contempt.
Do you think that your former JW freinds hold any resrect for you and your new found views on life? Or would they stone you to death for your views if the law allowed it?
BFD
Or would they stone you to death for your views if the law allowed it?BFD
I find alot of people here would do the same if they could!
BFD said:
Do you think that your former JW freinds hold any resrect for you and your new found views on life? Or would they stone you to death for your views if the law allowed it?
To me, the phrase "your former JW friends" comes across like it paints all JWs with the same brush. That's not really what you intended was it? I doubt very much that you did.
The answers for your questions depend entirely on the individual JW. They are all over the map. Some hard-core, utlra-zealots would no doubt cast the first stone in a heartbeat. Many others privately entertain their own personal beliefs, but dare not say them aloud.
Open Mind
Some people change...some stay the same only without the religious beliefs,
The dogmatic JW tends to stay a dogmatic ex-jw from what I have seen.
Those who admit to being arrogant JW's also admit to being arrogant ex-jw's. (just a fact not a put down)
I think it's more about personality and value systems....they stay the same, the only thing that changes is what you fight for.
If you tend to be bitter and angry,chances are you were like that as a JW, only you were not allowed to express it.
If you tend to be positive and happy, chances are you were like that as a JW and continue to be like that as an ex-JW.
Just observations. There are always exceptions to those generalizations.
People don't change unless they make a conscious decision to change themselves, not just their beliefs.
Just my two pesos.
Do you think that your former JW freinds hold any resrect for you and your new found views on life? Or would they stone you to death for your views if the law allowed it?
BFD
Excellent questions, BFD.
And I have answers to them.
It must be understood that the answers are different depending on the individual.
I have on my desk a letter from a "friend" that is quite unkind.
He sent it shortly after he assured me in a phone conversation that we would always be friends regardless of the issues with the religion.
Something caused him to change his mind.
I also have other JW "friends" that are tolerant and respectful.
But I no longer am sought out by them as a friend.
Do I hate them for it?
How could I?
I met them through the cult.
When I left the cult, I left the "friends".
Is it hard?
Is it lonely?
Yes.
Will hating them make that better?
No.
Very few would stone me given the chance.
I hope.
I think h_s explained it well.
Peace, friend.
You know I love you.
