My meeting with the elders.. I TOTALLY WIMPED OUT

by AWAKE&WATCHING 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  I agreed to speak to 2 elders from the congregation that I was in from when I started my Bible study in 1979 to when I disassociated myself in 1990. I was in the same congregation when I got re-instated in 2001 until I got married and moved to another congregation (30 miles away) a year later. When I left my husband in Aug. of this year I had already quit going to meetings for about 4 months. I moved back to the same town I lived in before, of course never going to the hall.

  I talked to them because I wanted closure for myself and my best friend and also my husband, both of them thought if I would just have the meeting with the elders that I would be re-adjusted.

  I thought it a rare opportunity to tell them all the dirt I found because it was not a JC, they were meeting with me as friends. Then I decided that I would put the burden of proof on them about the FDS and maybe even plant some seeds of doubt.

  I know you all warned me that it wouldn't go my way but what can I say about my eternal optimism?

  I love these guys and I know that they really love me too. I got there and realized that nothing I could say would get through so I said almost nothing. I prepared for this for months and never even referred to my notes. I told them my concerns about God's channel/imperfect men and took notes while they talked and that was about it. The 2 1/2 hours ended with me saying I would review the notes, yes they made some good points, of course I will pray about it and give serious thought to their counsel to return to the meetings.

  My estranged husband (we drove seperately and spoke on the phone) wanted to know what I thought after we left. I told him that I knew they loved me and just couldn't tell them what I really wanted to say and that I don't even feel like I can think clearly anymore because of all the stress I've had in the last 2 years

  My best friend has left me text and voice messages wanting to know how things went and if I believe it's the truth once again.

  I DON"T HAVE CLOSURE AT ALL AND NOW I HAVE ONLY MADE IT WORSE.
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  erynw

  You haven't made it worse. You were brave enough to speak your mind to the elders. That took guts. Count it as a victory and if there is a next time, you'll be a little stronger. If there isn't a next time, you spoke your mind to the elders. You didn't wimp out.
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  OnTheWayOut

  OH, it's okay ((((((((((((((((((((((((A&W)))))))))))))))))))))))))

  As long as you know the truth of the matter, that's all that matters.

  You can have closure of a sort. You can know that these have been well-intentioned
  JW's who, as individuals, are wonderful people. You can know that they just want to
  help. You can know that the evil empire of WTS has captured their souls and turned
  something wonderful into garbage.

  Or, just forget about it, move on. Find closure some other way.
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  4digitcode

  i've tried to have that closure you speak of in the same way with some people i know. But it's useless. Most often i always ended up frustrated and they were stronger than ever.
  
  maybe they'll come back and visit you and you'll have a clearer mind to tell them what you really think.
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  megsmomma

  You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.....You know the saying.

  You can't help people who aren't ready...who's minds are blocked to anything going against the mind control....no matter how much you love them.

  Pray that someday they will seek out reality, like you have succeeded in doing!!
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  Gopher

  Don't feel too bad. I can't even get "closure" with my own parents. I had to give up on getting anywhere with them, and though it feels uncomfortable I had to let it hang there.

  I don't know how you can get the JW's to even begin to see the reasonableness of your position. Once you stop banging your head against the wall, then it stops hurting.
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  FadingAway

  (((((A&W))))

  You have a lot of courage to do what you did and I admire you for that.
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  quietlyleaving

  A&W

  I got there and realized that nothing I could say would get through so I said almost nothing.

  It seems to me that you were very dignified and realistic.
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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  Thanks everyone, I'm trying not to beat myself up about it.

  I'm usually a lot bolder - it just seemed like a lost cause once I got there.
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  ninja

  A and W......good on you and well done.....you gauged the atmosphere and responded to it....good use of your intuition........your mate......ninja