Even though you're a JW, I don't know you so back off!

Younglove1999

did you ever feel that way when you were in "the truth"?

I hated that people tried to overstep the normal boundaries humans have with strangers and get all "brotherly and encouraging".

When we changed congregations, I found it so annoying when people we barely knew tried to act as if we were best friends.

I could never buy into the whole "you're a JW, I trust you. Instant true friendship" thing. To me, you were a stranger, JW or not, until I got to know you and trust you. Until then, step away and give me some space.

The other day my husband got a call from an Elder in our old congregation (the one we "faded" from). Now we were only in that hall for like 9 months. He's trying to talk to my husband and saying things like "I view you as one of my closest friends," blah blah blah. Seriously? 9 months in the hall, 2 months of being in this guy's book study, one dinner out, working out in service with him like 3 times equals a unbreakable bond of friendship?

Maybe I just never had brotherly love

Wordly Andre

Oh I know what your talking about, whenever my family has a party (gathering), Wedding or Funeral they feel the need to bring their JW friends over as well, most don't know me or how anti-JW I am, its always funny to me when they come up to me and my wife and just ASSume I'm a "brother", like hold out their hand and say oh hello "brother?" I am not your fucking brother!!

Gopher

The organization preaches that within its boundaries there are unbreakable bonds of brotherly love, and that anywhere you go you'll have friends.

A number of JW's take that quite literally and will assume they can make wonderful friendships with almost anyone they see at an assembly or another Kingdom Hall just by going up and starting a conversation.

Reality doesn't quite work that way. The elder friend in your old hall may have a real sense of loneliness, and may be getting treated like crap in his hall. Perhaps he feels your husband is a genuine good person and wants a friend like that. (Just giving that elder friend the benefit of the doubt here.)

AWAKE&WATCHING

I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I believed in the brotherhood.

I still believe there are a lot of people from the halls I attended that love me.

Problem is - it's conditional. To me that's not real love.

As soon as I'm officially disfellowshipped I will no longer exist, I will be dead to them.

Younglove1999

I'd like to think good thoughts about this elder guy, but he has been nothing but a nuisance since the day we walked into those kingdom hall doors. Every time we missed a meeting, he'd call. If we missed field service, he'd call us after the meeting for field service to say they'd do a call and come pick us up if we were just running late but wanted to join the group. If we didn't comment, he'd come over to "see how things were going". My grandfather passed away when I was in the middle of being very ill during my pregnancy and we missed the two day assembly due to everything and the Saturday night of the first day of the assembly Brother "best friend" calls us to say he didn't see us there (you were searching us out among 2,000 people?!) and I told him I was still very ill and the stress of my grandfather's recent passing and family issues was taking it's toll so I couldn't push it and I needed to relax. This phone call came around 8:30 at night and 15 minutes later, who was at our door offering to chat? Yep!

Fast foward to when we started fading. Obviously from the above, it was difficult to do the miss a few and show up, so we stopped cold turkey. After ONE week, Brother Best Friend called us 6 or 7 times in ONE day and proceeded to do that for the entire week. Phone calls to our home, cell phones, and even at work. Not once did he ever apologize for disturbing us with the numerous phone calls. Showed up to our house unannounced several times- the whole deal. When we finally told him to please respect our privacy and to not show up at our house without checking with us. He backs off for like 2 weeks- at this point I had given birth. Then the unannouced visits and phone calls ensued once again. One time I answered the door in my PJ's with my baby in the sling and he started talking and I interrupted saying that we specifically asked that nobody visit with out calling us first. Again, not once did he apologize. He just went into this whole "you guys are our closest friends, we care" etc. Yeah right- *rolls eyes*

It's his last ditch effort to makes us "feel bad" for being upset with them.

Yeah, 2 months worth of interrupted napping can make a person kind of bitter- LOL

Gopher

What is that obsession this elder has with you two? Are you & your husband his pet project? Does he think he'll get extra years of "everlasting life" if he gets you to walk the Watchtower Way?

He needs to re-read the Bible verse "do not be lording it over the flock". His constant bothering of you is lording it over you big time. Ideally the elders are supposed to be helpers & fellow servants, not masters.

Oh well. Eventually he'll probably give up. (Some people keep records of harrassing phone callers and turn in the caller's name to the phone company.)

Younglove1999

Yeah it was pretty crazy. That in itself cemented my reasonings for wanting to leave.

38 Years

I agree. Especially when you realize they are forced to act that way toward each other.

prophecor

Mark 10:29-30

Jesus said: “Truly I say to YOU men, No one has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for my sake and for the sake of the good news who will not get a hundredfold now in this period of time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and fields, with persecutions, and in the coming system of things everlasting life.

"He just wants to make you feel your part of the Bruthahood"

keyser soze

The most annoying ones to me were not the elders, but the gung-ho, overzealous rank and file. Such insuffrable ass-kissers. Most of the ones I knew like this were guys who had left "the truth", then come back. They thought they were being encouraging, but didn't quite have the knack for it. It took everything within me to keep from punching them in the face. They would constantly put people on the spot about meetings, or field service.

Even though you're a JW, I don't know you so back off!

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