Was Drifting Away or Outrightly Leaving Easier Than You Thought?
It wasn't that difficult for me. I had no family in, and I had been
planning my exit for a few weeks before my last meeting in
Having thoroughly researched the doctrines and history of the
org, I no longer believed in them anyway, so fear of them being
right and armageddon catching me unawares didn't affect me
at all. I had been rebuilding my social life outside the org in the
last few weeks before my final meeting, so I wasn't left out on a
limb, so to speak, when I stopped attending the hall.
I was angry at the deceit of the org, but probably more angry
with myself than them for having been fooled by it.
Leaving outright, or at least intentionally getting disfellowshipped for an indiscretion was fairly easy for me. I didn't have much of a social life in the organization despite being raised as a JW. But part of that is my personality. I've made a few friends since leaving. These are friendships that do not have religious belief requirements. I participate in a couple of activities that allow me to socialize with other people without any kind of religious obligations. That's been great.
I was angry at the deceit of the org, but probably more angry with myself than them for having been fooled by it.
I think most of us who weren't brought up in the lie can identify with Trev's comment. It wasn't immediately difficult for me to leave because once I realised I was duped I was out of there faster than an express train. However, for the next two weeks it felt as though I was in mourning. My so-called friends and part of my family treated me like a leper. My goodness, 19 years serving a bogus religion
Oh, well, no use harbouring on about the past, it's time to live and help others see the truth about Watchtower. Being here has really helped soften the pain because we are amongst people who have been through the same thing.
Well, i'm technically "still in", but I feel like I outrightly left. I consider myself a fader but I have no intention of ever going back to a meeting or field service again.
It has been a difficult process, but the most difficult thing for me has been the inward feelings that come from leaving the belief system that has been ingrained in me since birth, not the actual fading. One fellow JWD poster that has been a big help to me told me that i'm in a grieving process, and that makes so much sense when I think about it. I went from living solely for the Organization and now i'm not. BIG CHANGE! Hopefully time will help me as I deal with all of this.
It was easy for me too, because I had no relatives remaining in the Borg and my Ex, and In-laws, I didn't need them in my life anymore anyway. When they told me they would DF me, I was soooooooooooooooooooooo happy to hear that.
Yes and no. I drifted away which was pretty easy, especially considering for the most part, no one tried to help me back. It was for the better anyway, b/c I wanted out and it would have been harder for me if people tried.
The family thing has been difficult, I guess I still deal with that from time to time. I do miss my brother more than you can imagine. Overall, it was much easier for me than what I had imagined it would be before leaving...
I have to say that since joining this forum things have become MUCH more clear to me. I mostly have anger and resentment now that I realize the whole picture, whereas before it was not like that. I am sooo angry! I would (and have) tell anyone now my real feelings on the org. whereas before I kept it to myself. I wouldn't be considered an apostate before - I sure am now!!
I'm trying my hardest but it is really difficult.
NO. I disassociated myself 11 years ago believing it was the "Truth". I had tried for 10 years to be a faithful witness to the best of my ability, living with an unbelieving, abusive husband who couldn't/wouldn't hold down a job and almost killed me when he found out I was taking our kids to a bookstudy at an elder's house on my street. I went out in service once a week on my day off, missed 1/2 of the Sunday meeting twice a month because I worked every other weekend because I was the one supporting my family and it was never good enough. One day I just gave up and left hating God. I did not even know it was a cult until almost a year ago when I joined a group for ex-JW women. They told me to read Crisis of Conscience. I was flabbergasted and blown away. Reading that book took away all the fear and guilt. I no longer hate God, but doubt His existence which may be worse...I don't know. I now consider the JW religion to be the "Lie" and am so mad at myself for ever buying into it. I feel betrayed.
Wow, I feel for you.
Crises of Conscience really impacted me as well. I just want out but they won't let you.