No more fading. I've finally admitted my truth... (page 3)

sass_my_frass

Good on you! It must be a good feeling to have let that go, but also a bad feeling...

It isn't over yet, there is a lot more negotiation and compromise to get through for all of you, but it's great that you've made a start.

alias

nvrgnbk,
It's more like, "Feels right, good."

shopaholic,
Thank you, I appreciate that.

sass_my_frass,
You are correct. This is a process.

Thank you all for your support,

alias

Update:

I finally received a letter from my elder father. He talked to his CO about my situation, who then told him that unless I put it (my desire to be considered DA'd) in writing, the society won't change my status. He followed that up by saying that in the event I was found to be committing some kind of gross sin, or specifically confessed to something, it would then be possible for me to be disfellowshipped.

Does anyone know if celebrating holidays and attending a non-JW church are considered gross sins?

Also, could I be DF'd without a judicial committee, and specifically if it's already known that I currently consider myself DA'd and both my elder father and his CO are aware of that fact?

The good news is that nothing has technically changed for my parents, who now can have a clean conscience carrying on associating with their youngest daughter, whom they brought forth into this world. The best part was the end of my dad's letter, which I find to be a completely authentic, natural yearning that the organization has no business interfering with. He said, "Please, let's keep in touch. Love, Dad."

a happy alia s

jgnat

Well, I hope you feel no obligation to follow up on their "procedures". It looks like the CO gave your dad a technicality to keep in contact with you.

You can remain "DA'd" in your heart.

unique1

WOW, I admire you courage. I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible from here on out.

Bumble Bee

I'm posting this for a friend, as he's not able to post it at the moment.

QUOTE Alias - admitting my truth to these two people was the source of great burden to me and to my moving on QUOTE

Alias:

I like the way you expressed that it was a "log jam" that was holding you back. People who are in your position have to weigh the short term pain of exposure with the long term pain that you described while in limbo.

Your courage will inspire still others to make similar moves to clear up this log-jam in their lives. Way to go!

Your questions:

QUOTE Alias - Does anyone know if celebrating holidays and attending a non-JW church are considered gross sins?

Also, could I be DF'd without a judicial committee, and specifically if it's already known that I currently consider myself DA'd and both my elder father and his CO are aware of that fact? QUOTE

Part of the evidence brought against someone I know, was sending his mother a mother's day card. Of course the Mom is the one that told on him.

QUOTE

Apostasy.

Apostasy is a standing away from, a falling away, defection, rebellion, abandonment; it involves teaching false doctrines, supporting or promoting false religion and its holidays or interfaith activities.

The above and below comment is from the Secret KS book Page 94.

If it is learned that a person has taken up association with another religious organization, the matter should be investigated, and if verified, a committee should be formed. If it is clearly established that the person has joined another religion and intends to remain with it, the elders would make a brief announcement to the congregation that such one has disassociated himself. QUOTE

Trust most in the know here, when it comes to this stuff, the WT have all the bases covered. You can be DF'd or DA'd for just about anything, even swearing. What is written proves it to a degree, but what isn't written down is the JW oral rule of law that is like a wild-card. It gets used when the rules don't permit them to do something they want to do.

For example, the Watchtower.org FAQ page deals with the question slyly about "shunning former members" and leaves the reader with the impression that people who leave or drift away are left alone. However your dad's CO's comments prove that there is another unofficial set of rules at play. Even if he made that stuff up, no one will go against the CO.

Note this too:

QUOTE If a baptized person insists that he does not want to be part of the congregation and requests that his name be removed from all our records, we should comply with his request.

Since he takes such an adamant position, encourage him to put his request in writing. If he refuses to do this but states resolutely before
witnesses his decision to disassociate himself and not be known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, the witnesses to his statement would be asked to put this in writing and sign it.

In all cases of disassociation, a committee would consider the evidence regarding the matter.

If the person has definitely terminated his status as a member of the congregation, the elders will make a brief announcement of his disassociation. (w86 10/15 p. 31 ) The Society should be notified using the S-77 and S-79 forms.

He would be viewed as one who has disassociated himself. QUOTE

It sounds like you have good folks for parents, and I hope your revelation to them is the end to this painful process for you. However be prepared that should this situation stick in the craw of that CO, he will surely make a point of applying pressure to your parents to "put down in writing and sign" your verbal disassociation to them, the next time he is in their congregation.

Your fathers "elder status", giving talks or numerous other threats may be used to get them to do it. This type of threat might even be more effective on your mother than your dad, and the CO will have no problem cornering her in private to do so. If the Folks do not go for DA option and hold fast, considerable pressure and the whole "loyalty" argument will be used to at least force them to close down any communication with you.

Hopefully the character of your parents is such that they can withstand this type of heavy handed manipulation.

We are all pulling for you!

alias

jgnat,
I'm happy with this little loophole working in my favor and feel like I haven't given any of my power away. It's a great place to be and I won't be writing any letters soon (or at all!)

unique1,
Mee too. And thank you for your support!

I appreciate your extensive thought-out response. The information has given me much to think about in anticipation of my situation and what might come next. I've already died a dozen deaths over all of this, and today I am resolved to continue living in accord with my own body, mind, and soul. I'm experiencing a freedom that is incredible.

Thank you so much for taking time to post to me. Your reasearch is helpful and your insights into what could potentially transpire is noted. I appreciate your support.

Sincerely,

alias

No more fading. I've finally admitted my truth...

sass_my_frass

alias

alias

jgnat

unique1

Bumble Bee

alias

sosad

inactive?

alias

Share this