I have decided to start a new religion based on my interpretation of various spiritual disciplines. I’ve been reading, studying, and praying, and I feel the Cosmos has answered my prayers and is guiding and directing a New Way toward Spiritual Fulfillment through me.
I have begun to teach my beliefs to various and sundry people who are also seeking a new religious and/or spiritual direction. We get together and discuss my take on "religious" matters and I am beginning to find myself to be a very charismatic teacher and preacher.
Others have heard about our little spiritual get-togethers and we have begun to meet at a rented facility nearby. Our little group is growing, and, quite frankly, I see some real "business" potential here.
I have started a company and incorporated it with the purpose of printing my literature for distribution. I have it all figured out.
I suggest that those who come under my direction and who have begun to follow my interpretations and beliefs distribute my literature. Of course, they would need to ask for a donation to cover the cost of printing.
Instead of turning in the donation you collect, just keep it and I will sell my literature to you directly at a small cost. However, if you choose to, you may contribute additional money to the cause and earn extra New Way Spirit Points.
Now, in order to keep you folks selling my literature, I have designed my doctrines around the importance of this door-to-door distribution of my literature coming off my printing presses. The more hours you spend doing it and the more literature you put in the hands of others, the more New Way Spirit Points you receive. The more you feel "moved" to put in the contribution coffers, the more New Way Spirit will fill you and those Points will really begin to add up.
I will need reports, of course, to keep up with your Point value. On this fill-in-the-blank report, you will record how many hours you spent selling, recruiting, and making return sales calls to further the cause. Then, of course, you will also need to report how much literature you were able to sell for the month. Remember, the more you sell and recruit, the more New Way Spiritual Points you receive.
Now, what can I do to keep my new "sales force" motivated? I know. Three times per week, we will have sales meetings. You will hear a Great Sales Pitch on Sunday followed by a Question and Answer session to familiarize you with the latest in the doctrinal revelations being given to our New Way Spirit organization. Then one night per week, we will have small group sessions to bolster our team effort and further indoctrinate you in the way of the Way. Then on either Thursday or Friday night, (preferably Fridays just to mess up the start of your weekend in case you might be considering a weekend outing with family) we will have our Training Sessions. Here you will be taught how to make better sales presentations and present our beliefs as they relate to the New Way Spirit. We will discuss ways to manage your time more appropriately so that you can get out there and sell more of the literature I am rolling off my printing presses.
Several times a year, I will arrange for all of us to get together regionally and locally for Sales Conventions and Trade Shows where you will hear motivational speakers encourage you to find more and more opportunities to sell and recruit other salesmen, and also see the latest book releases to help teach and motivate you. You will be given the privilege of purchasing these new releases at a nominal cost. Of course, since they will be used in upcoming studies, you will need to purchase one for each member of your family.
Let us not forget the weekends. Saturday morning is an excellent time to find people at home, so do not neglect this day to earn extra valuable New Way Spirit Points. Sunday mornings or afternoons are also excellent times to increase your sales and earn those Points. Remember, the more time you spend at it, the more you will sell, and the more you sell, the more Points you will receive.
The more Points you have at the End, the more Rewards you will receive. So, let’s get busy folks! And I can assure you I will be a faithful steward. As a matter of fact, I will invest the money in real estate and other ventures and set up multi corporations to safeguard the booty. You won’t even have to worry yourself about it. It will all be taken care of by my team of lawyers and corporate accountants. You won’t even have to agonize over financial statements that are just too difficult to comprehend for the layperson anyway.
All you have to do to keep earning these valuable New Way Spiritual Points is to keep selling and recruiting and attending the sales meetings and making sales calls. Remember, the end Rewards are great.
What do you think? Any takers or suggestions?