by purplesofa 56 Replies latest jw friends
I'm sorry purps, I missed your last sentence. That she would not be involved with your daughter's baby shower but from afar.
That STINGS......I don't have any words to make you feel better about that.....just to say I am sorry and in the end it his her loss.
r.
I don't know your mom, but the impression I took away from the enclosed article was that she was telling you to take is easy on the Society. She wants you to look at them more positively. Forgive and forget. That seems to be the road she has chosen and she's offered the article to explain to you why she's done it and to encourage you to do the same.
I could be totally off track here, but that's how I took it.
changeling
you got her to read Crisis of Conscience. Now just, as another person said, send her baby photos and don't bring up anything controversial. Don't apologize, either. Act as if you never saw the enclosure. Let it simmer - she may change her mind, she may never change. Consider it a triumph that you got this far!
maybe if I had been NICER when speaking bad about the society
she would not have been offended?
heck i dont know
my sis is here with me, she is in town for a funeral and staying here........she hand delivered the letter and book to me.
We just got back from dinner and it was the whole topic of conversation.
Knowing my mom, she will tell others in her congo at some point my view of the society. She will only tell that when it benefits herself, IMO.
I just cant figure out how I offended her, other than possibly she feels guilty for staying in the org, knowing what she knows and now I know, she knows......
she sells sea shells by the seashore.
purps
It would not have mattered if you were "nicer," I'm afraid, simply because of the nature of brainwashing, but then again, there is the saying about attracting bees with honey.
You said and did nothing to deserve being shunned. You simply disagreed with her POV and shared some facts and anecdotes that put the Society in a non-preferential light.
Your mom clearly is too brainwashed to process COC; perhaps she'll "get it" later on. I agree that you have no aplogies to make, and did not intend to suggest that by my interpretation of the article she sent.
My interpretation of the article she enclosed is completely different from changeling's. Maybe what changeling suggests is the case; however, my experience with that kind of thing - my mother is also a highlighter - is pretty much what I said. Most of the JWs I have known are just as quick to apply the "admonition" to others as to themselves.
Anyway, I hope your mom softens up a bit, for your sake and for her own sake. It is sad that she is alienated from her kids.
I think you've done well Purps ,it must be very hard for her to leave something she sees as helping her through some difficult times.
She has read COC and the seeds are there and your continued love will help your relationship and even an accord of tolerance is better for now than the spiteful hatred that some spit at their relatives.
It can't be viewed as a situation that needs to be won for she has her own dignity even through her misconceptions of the WTS and patience is needed to hold your your treasured relationship. Some of us wish we had love from parents even though it's conditional at times.
thank you very much for your comments
you have helped me so much
I appreciate it
Leslie
I have an 80 year old JW Aunt that I'm very close to. She has disagreed with the WBTS for years and so I felt I could be open and honest in talking with her. She knows all the things that I know about this organization but chooses to continue on. Because she never pursued many outside friendships, these are the only friends she has. They do come to her aid and assistance whenever she needs anything. My opinion is that she needs to stay where she is and I've told her that. Should I ever be DF'd she has assured me it will not change our relationship.
I don't know how old your mother is but it may just be too late in the game to start over for her...that being said my mother stopped attending meetings after 60years, one year before I did, after finding out about the U.N. They have few friends and are too old to make new ones. It's a good thing we have a big family to keep them company.
You gave her the facts, how she chooses to use them is another matter! She may need more time and horrible experiences before she realizes "the truth"!!! It may happen sooner than you think!
Swalker
PurPs, I am sorry it did not go as you had hoped. I am happy though that she read it. Sometimes it takes a while for things like this to digest. You know. (Plant a seed) That thing they always told us. Well that seed of doubt is planted. And sometimes it grows. You know that. You never know.
I know I did not hold my tounge with my mom about the JW's last week and now despite the fact I help take care of her, my mom told my brother she does not want to see me. That she should not associate with me. He told me to show up anyways. She is crazy and does not have a choice. We will just have to see how it goes.
But for you I truly feel. Your mom sounds like she is a reasoning woman and not like mine. Perhaps she will hear you yet. In the meantime do not let it get you down. Take photos and share them with her. Always let them (your family) know that they close the doors. Not you. That if they choose to change you are right here waiting. They just need open thier eyes. Hang tough girl. Enjoy that baby!
I wouldn't give up hope Purps. That's something huge, in my opinion, for a faithful JW to read anything of that caliber. It is unfortunate though that she has the "where is can I go" mentality that's so prevalent. Since you've stated that this is all the life she has, hopefully there is something that could come along to give her more options, some other interest than just Organizational activities.
Definitely keep showing love to her as I know you'll keep doing already.
