Dare a married guy meet up with his teenage infatuation? HELP!

by aylesbury_lad 65 Replies latest social relationships

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    a stiff dick has no conscience - be careful

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Hey, you know you are asking for trouble. . .if you MUST go, take your wife, hope she brings her SO, kids and dogs and say hello and be a grownup. A lot changes and it may be that now all you have in common is your childhood in the Borg. Or you may end up being friendly as families. Who knows? But DO NOT pursue any friendship if you meet her and feel the 'crushing' going on still. Just be vague, and fade away (you can get lots of advice on that here! :) )

    I'd suggest you don't go if you know she is going to be there, though.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    The fact that you're asking leads me to believe you're putting yourself at an emotional risk, which means putting your marriage at risk. I'd stay away from her, both in person and online.

    W

  • RisingEagle
    RisingEagle

    If you aren't willing to take your wife along on this meeting, you shouldn't go.

    If you don't take your wife along with you to the meeting, you shouldn't talk about anything with this crushette that wouldn't have been talked about if your wife had been there.

    My .02 cents.

  • hopelesslystained
    hopelesslystained

    I agree with Satanus. Having been in a situation where a crush/sometimes boyfriend from the hall(while we were teenagers) got in touch with me (I had never gotten over him, he was my measuring stick for all men for many, many years) Well, we were now both single and out of the org. I was scared,anxious,excited, and everything else. Well, that meeting was the best thing I ever did. It cleared my mind and emotions of him forever! Neither of us were the same persons. I let go of the silly emotional hold he had on me. I was free of wondering and free to continue that part of my emotional life.

    Good to meet and either re-open unfinished business or finish it. It either stops or completes the needless wonder and imagination.

    Hope this helps.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Listen to the words of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kFLVRxpKms

    Time has a way of changing things, including your old flames.

  • carla
    carla

    There is no way she can ever live up to your fantasy (fantasies) of her. You may be bordering already on an emotional affair. Either have the balls to leave the wife before you start this or leave her alone completely.

    Would you really want to go meet your wifes old crush who is now her fantasy and obviously has not gotten out of her head all these years?

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    "...it might be the best thing, in order to lay the thing to rest..."

    Lay would be the operative word there!

    I've been there and done that, and if she shows up still attractive to you, you are in serious shit. I ended up having an affair due to a stiuation quite similar to the one you're describing.

    Are you ready to lose your marriage over this? Unless you've got some indication that she's gained +50 pounds, you should reconsider meeting her.

    And let me ask you this: If you knew she'd lost her looks, had gotten heavy or whatever, would you still be tempted to see her then? Honestly now...

    S4

  • flipper
    flipper

    AYLESBURY LAD- If you want to stay married , don't do it!! You will regret it ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • hopelesslystained
    hopelesslystained

    Come on guys, sometimes there are "old tapes" and "unfinished business" to clean up. And, more than likely leave behind. Yes, it can break and seriously hurt a marriage. Which is better? To clean up, or to go on wondering and possibly fantasizing within the marriage? Only the individual concerned is in a position to decide how important it is to meet face to face with this other individual. Hope

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