perhaps this is naive of me-

Younglove1999

So about a month ago, I finally "confessed" to my JW friend that my husband and I haven't been to a meeting since February. We're in different halls, so she wasn't aware of our inactivity. When I told her, I didn't explain any details about what lead us to stop going, other than the normal "we're confused- so much going on, new baby, etc" stuff. She seemed like she understood where I came from except towards the end of our conversation she pretty much said "well, you know where I stand" and I took that as her way of ending our friendship. Why? I don't know. I haven't done anything wrong- I didn't say anything that could raise flags about my disdain for the organization. Well, we haven't talked since and we never go this long without talking. We were really close friends- And *poof* she's gone. I'm actually going back and forth between being sad and angry. Like why doesn't she want to "encourage" me? Even though I want nothing to do with the Org. I'm just baffled that she just dropped me high and dry and I'm not even df'd or da'd.

I really want to call her- I know it's not going to get me anywhere, but I just want to say "hey what the heck is going on? I tell you I'm confused and in a rut and you drop me just like that?!"

*sigh* And my other friend is pregnant and due in 2 months (also a JW) and since I've confessed to my friend (above paragraph), I also haven't heard from her. In fact, I haven't heard from a single one of our "friends". Like we've been black listed.

I expect at some point that we won't be associating with them because we have no intention of going back, but man talk about slamming the door on us. And I'm not even invited to my friend's shower.

I can't just leave it like that, since I know it's going to be viewed as ME leaving them- even though my attempts at being their friends are futile and no matter what I do, being JW's they'll twist things-

I dont know-

I'm just frustrated. Any thoughts or suggestions?

zeroday

Even though I want nothing to do with the Org. I'm just baffled that she just dropped me high and dry and I'm not even df'd or da'd.

True Christian Love... Got to love it...

Younglove1999

I know- I just want to call her and say "thanks- love ya too"

blueviceroy

I have some friends and they return my calls and invite me to functions and we do things together I'm involved in thier lives. There are people in the world that I dont have anything to do with these people are NOT my friends = I'm thinking that these people are not your friends and maybe your appeal to their basic human decency will fall on deaf ears because it has been replaced by something else. It is hard to let go of people you care about but it is impossible to clap with one hand .I'm sorry for the rudeness and callousness of these people, if you were my friend It wouldnt matter what you believed in as long as you were a good person .It isnt naive it is only decent and trusting and nothing hurts like disapointment.

PEC

I am sorry; but, if they were true friends they wouldn't have dropped you like that. Make new friends and move on, there is no love in dubdom.

Philip

sweetstuff

You have to remember once upon a time people might have tried to encourage you, now the WTS has people so terrified of someone being subversive that the first sign of confusion aka, non-obedience, you are history. I remember years ago, people talking among themselves regarding a talk or a new publication and actually questioning it to a degree. Now they don't dare, they might be called an apostate. The WTS knows its losing its hold on people so its strengthing the fear factor in faithful dubs that anyone who isn't a company man or woman, is someone you run from ASAP. It's the only way they can keep people from thinking for themselves now, anyone says something bothers them, is confused, doesn't agree with anything or just plain hasn't been to meetings, they bolt. These people are not really your friends, I am sorry, but its the truth. It might be time to start cultivating new relationships that are dub- free.

Younglove1999

yeah- I'm baffled at the fact that that basic human tendency to be compassionate and caring is gone and replaced by just callous indencency.

It hurts but what makes me angry is that there's no way in hell I'd ever get it through their heads that I'm still the same funny, caring, intelligent person they've always known-

i'm just frustrated and sometimes just tempted to just send them X-mas cards every year to make them cringe-

eclipse

It's just fear...

It's not that they don't love you

They are taught that faders and inactives are being sucked into the world and are being poisoned slowly by their own thinking,

It's like a disease to them, that they are afraid to catch.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, you just have to make new friends. Those ones are gone (for now).

Younglove1999

it was ONE little conversation- ONE- it was like 5 minutes long- I was so vague- but apparently it was enough for her- I'm completely completely just speechless-

i don't know why it's hitting me so hard this afternoon-

I've started to make friends with others that I know- I'm actually going to a Yoga class tomorrow with a friend I met in childbirth class-

Our social life is much more enjoyable now because we're with people we like instead of just them being our age and "in the truth", but this particular friend was different- we really had fun together.

her husband is an elder prick though- so she's got it hammered in her head-

greendawn

They have set up some pretty powerful social control mechanism for the R&F dubs to disown you just because you don't go to their meetings. That's one reason that we know they are a cult.

One could be a wonderful virtuous person and yet get written off by the dubs for not attending those boring meetings, that's their strange way of evaluating individuals.

perhaps this is naive of me-

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