The Truth About Cleveland

by noni1974 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • noni1974

    CLEVELAND YOUR PROUD TO BE FROM ONE OF THE SHITTIEST BIGGEST CITIES IN THE U.S. -It's only soda if it's orange soda, otherwise it's pop. -It's dinner, not supper. -If you get the head nod, you know you are part of the crew. -If you are white and act like a thug be prepared to run. -We are home to Bone Thugs and Harmony. -We are home to The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, and Red Right 88. -We are the reason stadiums don't have glass bottles. -You laugh when someone tells you Lake Erie isn't polluted. -You are used to the dead fish smell after it rains. -People are trained to talk on television like us. -Buffalo Wild Wings is aka BW3. -The Dawg Pound is heaven. -We know the Browns suck, the Indians sorta suck, and we haven't won a championship in over 40 years. But we've got LeBron so we don't care. -Lake effect snow is a given. -Our river caught on fire not once, not twice, but thrice. -I live in Cleveland and I am damn proud of it. -You Know You're From Cleveland If..... -The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart -You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World -Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire -You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999 -You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood. -You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does. -You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath. -You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry and you support it, but don't quite understand it. -Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies. -You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga. -You can't tell Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart. -You see Christmas lights still up in July. -You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the quarter mile stretch of a suburb named Linndale. -You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying. -St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and even if you aren't Irish. -You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one. -You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away. -You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world. -You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City. -You have never ridden in a taxi. -You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can. -You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl. -You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999, when the Browns came back. -You know Tower City isn't a city at all. -You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. -You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university. -You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. -Toward the lake means north, and toward the river means south. -You measure distance in minutes. -You've had to switch from A/C to heat in the same day. -You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at? -You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. -You carry jumper cables in your car. -You know what 'pop' is. -You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. -Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. -You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown. -The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports. -You thought the Drew Carey Show was great because it dealt with real world how Clevelander's actually lived. -hahaha, this is SO true, too!- -You think Red Sox fans and Cubs fans are bitches for crying about some gay curse! Try being a die hard Cleveland fan with no championships in Cleveland for years!!!!!!!!!!! ..

  • Gopher

    C'mon down, you're the next contestant on THE PRICE IS RIGHT !

  • jaguarbass

    I left in 81 when you were 7.

    I know Coke was pop. And we didnt drink pepsi.

    I never knew if it was dinner or supper.

    I knew that people on tv were trained to talk like us. For that matter all educated people in America learn to talk in Cleveland.

    I new we were the Rock and Roll capital because a Clevelnad DJ Alan Freed came up with the name to describe music that rocked. 1950's music.

    Old brooklyn is North of Parma at broadview and State. Brooklyn is at Ridge and Memphis.

    I got 3 speeding tickets in Walton Hills and 7 Hills. And they were all in the same spot.

    I dont know how to get to the flats but I've been there lots of times. When I lived there the flats was not what it is today.

    Till I was 23, I thought Cleveland was the best City in the world after all we had the Terminal Tower.

    I'm not a sports fan but I know who Earnest Byner is.

    When I lived in Cleveland back in the 60's and 70's I didnt know anyone who had airconditioning.

    I know the potholes would shake your car appart, litterally.

    When I lived in Cleveland we had 2 local papers and 3 tv stations.

    You forgot to mention Ghoulardi but your father would have to tell you about him.

  • JK666

    I am from Indiana, and I bleed Brown. C'mon Brady!


  • noni1974

    Ahh Drew is the home town hero.Everyone claims to know him.

  • troucul

    How was Spinal Tap?

    HELLO CLEVELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • noni1974

    I left in 81 when you were 7.

    I didn't move to Cleveland till 84.

    You forgot to mention Ghoulardi but your father would have to tell you about him.

    My Dad didn't grow up in Cleveland either.But he keeps telling me about how people in Parma wear white socks and have pink flamingos in their yards.


    I met George Clooney and William H. Macey in Cleveland.

    I saw the B-52's and went to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame to see the Psychedelic 60's/70's exhibit several years ago.

    I love Cleveland.

    Cleveand ROCKS.

  • worldtraveller

    I met mini-me at the movie set of "Postal" out next month. He came up to my knee.

  • Burger Time
    Burger Time

    HA freaking hilarious!

Share this