by Ex Nihilo 27 Replies latest members private
Unique1,
Honey, I share your pain. Our son shuns us. Even though he is not my only child, it does not lessen the pain. Because of disfllowshipping, I have also lost my grandchilren and great-grandchildren, some of whom I have never seen. If you need a "gramma's" shoulder to cry on at any time, you can contact me personally at our website: www.geocities.com/veliveleth.
Love and hugs,
Gramma Velta
You sound exactly like I did a few years ago. I wrote something worse than you to a forum and totally gat bashed for it...!
I did that because I, like you had extraordinarily nice circumstances, able to fade, a family who still talks to me (on Mom is a JW) etc.
Try reading some of the heartbreaking stories here... Mothers telling their children they "are dead to them now". Not even calling to see a new grandchild. Terrible terrible things...
Then I started to read all the lies they had bee telling me for 20 yrs. I am a little pissed that I grew up believing that my dad was going to die at armageddon (some JW "friends" made me cry at a "get-together" over that one...)
I would have done a LOT of things differently if I had not be indoctrinated into thinking that university was bad, doing extracirricular things were bad, etc etc etc...
I'm a little pissed at that stuff but have moved on- have a wonderful fiance, getting a PhD, traveling, making friends...
I am lucky. What about those that have committed suicide because all their friends, family workmates suddenly stopped talking to them just because they decided that they do not believe the drivel that comes out of 12 geezers in Brooklyn (aka the venerable Governing Body...)
You'll get an education here! Please stick around! It's a fun place!
Respectfully,
Kudra
When we became witnesses, we swore to accountability. It isn't like some religions that are passive about rules. Witnesses make sure you keep your promises, and remind you 5 times a week of what you made a deal for. So when you quit is not so much a sense of guilt as it is failure you have when you leave because of that. it may cause some to want to find any reason to blame the witnesses for bad feelings that we cause for ourselves. It may also help some think that their loved ones that have sunned them won't blame them and be social with them again.
I didn't choose the JW's, I had it rammed down my throat for 18 years! I didn't fail at anything, it wasnt' my choice to begin with.
nj
Wow, this is the most replies I've ever gotten.
Thank you for introducing yourselves. I'm glad I get to know you all a bit in one place.
It was said that it was different that I referred to the witnesses as a church. I do that because religion is religion, and I group it in a mass it all leads to a similar spot.
And for the one that said I was condescending, I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not. I have no detector. If it makes you feel any better when I wrote one of those posts I hit post hoping it didn't come off that way. I am very sure of myself sometimes so I can sound that way. It means nothing as I am no better or worse than anyone.
I am mainly here to learn from you guys, because you have done all these things before, although I like to insist that I dislike people, I love conversation and free thought. I have no friends other than my partner as all my friends are witnesses and I don't like his friends (except for the nerdier ones).
I have continued this thought here...
Hi Ex Nihilo
I like your point of view and agree with what you say. It is not healthy to have too much anger about our time as witnesses also I believe it's good to carry some responsibility for becoming or remaining as a witnesses, remembering our past as being brainwashed in a cult is not helpful.
Saying that I do sometimes get angry with my JW upbringing. I Hate the fact that no matter what success I have in life or whatever good and virtuous things I do, these things will be, in my mum's eyes, minor trifles compared to the Big bad thing I did in rejecting Jehovah. That being said as of this moment I am not shunned, no one is hunting me down trying to dis fellowship me. Most of the witness I meet do genuinely want good for me. If Elders/Family/Friends were to take a harder line with me however, who knows if my thoughts would remain the same.
Please see my reply in above quoted thread.
And for the one that said I was condescending, I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not.
Yeah. I was.
