My first week here ...thoughts

by emy the infidel 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Welcome!! I appreciate your perspective. I find myself fighting my JW status quo still-after over 25 years. I hear expressions and it takes me back(and then repels me). It will be nice having you around!!

    Shelly

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    Emy, Angel eyes, and Homebound,

    I am glad you are here. WELCOME. I am pretty new myself, but I have spent a lot of time reading here. You will find much comfort and support among these people and I am sure you will get your fair share of good laughs along the way.

    On another note: The JW faith is certainly crumbling fromalmost every angle, you may be encouraged to know. More and more people like you will be leaving soon, and many kind and decent people are working hard to make that happen.

    The free flow of information is the key to our success.

    You may find it therapeutic to join the cause to free some kind and decent people from the clutches of the WT and its dangerous teachings.

    If you'd like to help, you will find plenty of great information right here on JWD, and on many other websites. If you have some JW email addresses you can send them some tid-bits that might help free their minds. You can do it anonymously if you don't want to be traced. You can join an email service called hushmail and no one can trace where your email came from.

    It feels nice to help people.

    The Oracle

  • Madame Quixote
    Madame Quixote

    Hi emy. glad you are here!

  • emy the infidel
    emy the infidel

    Thanks to everyone for their support! This week has been dramatic, and I'm not a dramatic type person. But, I threw it out for all to see.

    RollerDave, you got it exactly right:

    "Isn't that thought-shutdown process that keeps you from seeing the bullshit in one compartment of your life just a beast?

    Stopping it is such an effort as it is rooted in all of your subconscious habits, the stuff you do without even thinking about it.

    It's as if the WTS has installed 'antivirus' software in your brain, only its WTS Antidoubt V1.9.14!" LOL LOL When WTS Anitdoubt V1.9.14 kicked in...get this...

    I would get a mental image from some old WT study article about apostates, of a woman screaming clasping at her face looking up. It's been 22 yrs!!!!!!! Yes it's twisted and illogical. But uninstalling it is going fine. The power of the mind.....

    We'll talk politics some time RollerDave.

  • emy the infidel
    emy the infidel

    Angel, it's a painful thing you've been through. It's been 20+ yrs. for me and the most notable thing is that nothing has changed, nor likely will.

    Learning to rebuild your life outside of that organization is a process that takes time. Put know that it can be done.

    To answer your question 'do you believe in God?', I answer yes -more now than ever. I pray a lot to be forgiven, to gain strength, and to be lead where He wants me to be. The answers come usually quietely over time and they keep me in suspense. They will come for you too. You hold your head high.

  • BIG D
    BIG D

    I AM BIG D , AND THIS IS MY FIRST WEEK HERE TOO, SINGLE DAD, RAISING 3 BOYS, JUST FADING NOW, AND MY WHOLE FAMILY IS IN, FATHER AN ELDER, I WAS MS, TIL LATELY, STILL WANT TO TALK TO FAMILY , SO NO DRAMA ON MY END, SOUNDS LIKE MY STORY IS JUST ONE OF MANY, I HAVE READ, BIG D

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Welcome again emy, angeleyes, and BIG D.

    Emy, how's the C of C coming?

    Angeleyes, it sounds like you have a GREAT husband. Perhaps the two of you would be happy being religious without having a religion. For friendships, do you think the two of you could go to an evening club or class, just to change things up a bit?

    Mr. D, it sounds like you are a GREAT dad. How old are your boys, and how are they taking your change of heart?

  • BIG D
    BIG D

    I HAVE BEEN , FADER, IN THE TRUTH?, FOR , WEEL ALL MY LIFE, IM 46, I FEL GUILTY ABOUT BEING ON HERE, I KNOW ITS FAKE, BUT I MISS ALL MY FAMILY, I WENT TO MY SONS BALL GAME YESTERDAY, AND I WOULDNT PUT MY HAND ON MY HEART, I LOOKED AROUND TO SEE IF ANYONE SAW ME, MY MIND IS STILL IN I GUESS, I HAVE MADE NO REAL FRIENDS OUTSIDE THE HALL, AND DATING IS HARD, WHEN THEY ASK ABOUT MY FAMILY, OR LACK THEREOF?

    I AM TAKING MY KIDS TRICK OR TREATING, AND I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT! WHEN WILL THESE GUILTY FEELINGS GO AWAY?

    BIG D

  • BIG D
    BIG D

    THANKS NAT!

    I HAVE TWINS THAT ARE 9, AND AN 17 YEAR OLD , ALL BOYS, MY OLDEST IS GLAD, WE ARE FADING, MY TWINS , TOO YOUNG TO KNOW, BUT THEY MISS FAMILY,X WAS A WITNESS TOO, NOW A X WITLESS, BUT HAS GONE LOCO , AND SIGNED HER RIGHTS AWAY, WE NEVER SEE HER, ME AND THE BOYS FOR 4 YEARS, I HAVE DATED BUT , HONESTLY STILL FEEL GUILTY ABOUT ALOT

    BIG D

  • shopaholic
    shopaholic

    Hi emy and welcome to the board. I've enjoyed your post very much.

    But that compartment of my life remained unchanged, unquestioned and unquestionable. A self-imposed unconscious 'purgatory' of sorts.

    I see we have some things in common. It took me awhile before I would even allow myself to think that the JW was a cult, I just knew it wasn't the truth and something was very wrong with that organization. Being on this board will definitely help a person sort out some things. Glad you found the strength to break free.

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