by bbdodger 27 Replies latest jw experiences
Dear bbdodger,
Sad that the Borg still has your mother captive of a concept. If you get a chance, have her read that book...."Captive of a Concept" by Don Cameron. It may help her break the ties that bind her. Again, we are happy to have you here!!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
Hi and welcome. Your story is theraputic for us as well. When I first found this site I was amazed at how many people felt like me. Made me feel less a freak.
Welcome bbdodger!
Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone.
Welcome to our forum. I look forward to your posts. You write with a lot of heart and your goodness and compassion come through. I was raised a witness but when my children were young, I decided not to raise them the way I was raised. I wanted them to feel normal and take advantage of all the opportunities that were "out there" to enjoy life and be a successful citizen of this beautiful planet.
That being said, it takes years and years to shake free of the mind-controlling residual effects and the guilt. Your mother is probably in this phase now and perhaps with your gentle coaxing and compassionate guidance, she can find relief and happiness free from the WTS's terrible grip.
Welcome, bbdodger.
When I told her about the book (the name of it escapes me now), she quickly came back with a response that SHOCKED me, even to this day. Even my own mother, a smoker, a drinker, living with a man whom she was not married to, the most worldly of the disfellowshiped replied "I don't like you reading that apostate literature... don't you know you're not suppose to do that?"
If that was not so very sad as to make one want to cry until you die, it would certainly make one laugh until losing all bladder and bowel control.
There is little more sad than the tremendous fear and guilt daily felt within disfellowshipped Witnesses who still believe it to be "the truth" that leads them to such utterly unbelievable degrees of hypocrisy. It's really quite insane.
Thankfully there is a way out of the various degrees of insanity which we have. And poppers shares that simply and eloquently.
j
You might want to read what I wrote the other week on this:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/141114/2530176/post.ashx#2530176
A "return visit" in his 50s was studying their Bible finally started coming to meetings. The only suit he owned was a green leisure suit, the kind from the 70s, huge butterfly collar, worn with a thick bow-tie, also popular in the 1970s. Well, this was the 80s... and the whispers and giggles I heard made me feel more embarrassed for them, instead of him. He was there, isn't that enough? Obviously not for the folks in our congregation.
It didn't seem that he noticed the snickers and stares, because he kept going to meetings, Tuesday nights, sometimes on Sunday afternoons. But no one would talk to the man. He wore the same green leisure suit to every meeting. After a few weeks, he was gone. I'm sure he began to realize that he was the butt of a joke after awhile...
This kind of story makes my blood boil in anger.
Welcome to the board bbdodger!
BP
It's a shame that your mother has not seen through the facade yet. Maybe you can help her in the future. The jws are all about shame and placing heavy burdens on people. It does take a long time to shake free.
Like Poppers said, they are only beliefs that can be shed.
Welcome, choosing Life
I was just reflecting on the fact that most everything else that I remember from my childhood I remember no where near as VIVIDLY as my time spent at Kingdom Hall, and related activities/events.
It's just plain weird how the expectations of children are the same as the adults in the organization. There is tremendous pressure put on a child who is stuck there. Other religious sects have... Sunday School! What a concept, right? When a child is born into the "truth" , they know no other way.
Going to meetings that are meant for adults is terrible for children, there are just certain concepts that innocent minds cannot handle without some serious repercussions later. I don't think that any child should have to be scared of the future, doom and gloom, Armageddon, and most frightening of all, disappointing Jehovah. At least my vocabulary was a lot more developed than my peers at school; Thanks JWS!!!
well, she has definitely "moved on" in the physical sense... she's remarried, an active bar hopper, smokes cigarettes, drinks lots and lots of beer, did I mention smoke?
Her new husband is an in-active Lutheran, and he has tried to talk to her about it, but she says that in her heart, she can't let go of the thought that it IS "the truth". He's tried to help her deal with it, but it's hard to get through to her, because it's an issue that she's very sensitive about. Understand, like most DFed JWs, she was shunned by a large part of her family; this isn't a matter taken lightly.
I wish she could cast it aside, but it's not that easy. I think that she's going overboard by all the smoking, drinking, etc., I think that it makes her feel as if SHE is in control of the things she does, instead of the Organization. Does that make sense?
