by faundy 57 Replies latest jw friends
Two elders at least have seen me with my girlfriend
Were you guys doing any PDAs? (Public Displays of Affection)
Is your girlfriend a "known homosexual"?
I always get a kick out of that phrase from the elder rulebook.
If the answer to these questions is "No", then you can play all kinds of mind games with these yokels if you feel like it.
I can give you some legalistic rule-book advice if you want it and so can many others here.
Let us know where you want this to go.
Open Mind
I totally understand you, and yet part of me wants to yell at them and tell them that they had no right encouraging me to be straight and ignore my feelings when I don't feel they're wrong. Even my best friend who I thought knew me inside out told me that she felt that one day I would settle down with a nice brother who would make me feel right again. It was like she didn't see it at all.
It's time to set firm boundaries. Why go into a humilating scene? You know how it is, and it's a conflict YOU need to deal with. So why make it any harder than it already is?
I agree with writing the letter and leaving it at that. A meeting will not change anything at this point.
Hang in there, and don't let it stress you out.
I had my arm around her, but we weren't kissing or anything. She's from the other part of the UK and so they don't know her. But they know we're gay, I told the elders years ago and had a shepherding visit, told to pray more, etc. They know I'm gay, and they know I've done 'gay stuff'. But proving it seems to be a real problem for them, ha.
Call up a different elder and confess to having an affair with the PO's wife.
mua ha ha ha ha
Para, THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!!
If you don't want to DA yourself and just remain inactive, then there are a couple ways to go as I see it.
Plan A. Don't return any calls and make no contact with the elders. Depending on what they think they "know", there is a possibility that they could still DF you in absentia. For instance, if they have proof that you have "spent the entire night with a known homosexual" they could DF you for porneia.
Plan B. Agree to meet with them and be ready to tell them what they need to hear. You still have lesbian tendencies, but you haven't given in to them. Maybe you're even doing better lately as you've been keeping yourself busy with knitting or housework or some other activity recommended in the Young People Ask book. (Can you believe they even wrote that stuff?) From reading your posts, though, I have a feeling you wouldn't want to even try this. So, I'd probably stick with Plan A.
I'm very glad to hear that most of your family is out of the JWs. Draw strength from that. And above all..............
ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!
Open Mind
Liking your last post, Openmind. As for knitting to keep my mind off 'inappropriate' things, that wasn't my style but you wouldn't believe the walks I went on to try and keep my mind 'clear'. I won't tell the elders I haven't engaged in anything, because I have. For over a year. I am just intrigued as to how they want to know details, I think it's a bit perverted really. I'd love to go and give them an exact account of every incident......
Some things to keep in mind. Being gay and in the organization it was probably an extreme step to finally come to grips with who you are. So the question has to be raised, do you want to be proud of who you are and what you stand for? Or are you fine with it being a private matter? Something tells me you don't feel like having to hide it overtly. It can be scary to confront those trying to hold you back emotionally. It also though is a freeing experience to be able to stand tall for who you are and not what they expect you to be. My friend, this is all your choice. I would suggest if you go through with talking to the P.O. have your girlfriend there for emotional support these things can be tough alone. If the P.O. won't allow that just politely tell him it's going to be on your terms and not theirs. If they go through with "discipline" at least you know you stood for who you are.
Looks like you are in a pretty good situation. Your family is out. You are out, more than once now. [Sorry about the pun.]
If you want to embarrass the JC, then:
Go to their silly meetings. They will ask all sorts of sexual questions. Give them details that would make a sailor blush, imitate the type of orgasms your lesbian relationship produces, and point out how 'untidy' those bulging boners look in polyester suits.
If you want to avoid the JC, then;
Don't answer the phone. Don't answer the door if they show up. Send back any letters you get marked 'Unknown addressee' or similar.
If you want to annoy the PO, then;
Tell your friends that he should meet you for a talk about it, then don't show up. Or call him and keep 'breaking up' as if you are loosing the signal. Block your call info so that he can't return the call. Find a big stereoytypical gay person [male or female] and send them to his house to threaten him with injury if he doesn't quit hassling the gay community.
If you want to ignore the whole thing, then;
Go the the PO's house, when he answers the door, begin to name all the ladies at the hall as former lovers, and tell him to come speak with you when he is done with all the interviews. [Giving him no address or phone of course.]
Lots of choices - so little time.
Jeff
