Advice Needed

faundy

Hi, I stopped going to meetings over a year ago as I'm a lesbian and have finally accepted it. I was a witness for 22 years, since I was born. Now I missed my friends at the hall at first, but now I have some amazing new friends that love me no matter what. The only thing that bothers me now is that I was recently in contact with a girl who still goes to the hall; she knows about me and my girlfriend but we still met for lunch and arranged a night out, but I couldn't make it. Now the PO has discovered that we met up, and he has said that if she hears from me again, she is to tell him. And also my best friend in the hall asw was has been told the same. Report to him if he hears anything. He has tried to get in touch with me by phone but I have a new number. I am being shunned by people in the hall, ie a Ministerial Servant and his wife. Two elders at least have seen me with my girlfriend and that's why the PO wants to see me. I need to know what I should do. Contact him and just tell him to his face what I feel? Or just ignore him? Any ideas? Faundy.

bluesbreaker59

If you have family (or REALLY close friends) in the Borg:

1. Just ignore, maybe move to a different town, that is "incovenient" for them to travel to

If you don't have family or REALLY close friends in the Borg:

1. Tell him and the other elders in no uncertain terms that you are a card carrying lesbian, maybe to add shock value you could cut your hair short, dress like a trucker and put a couple rainbow stickers on your car... LOL!!!

Sorry, hope that wasn't offensive, but I just really enjoy playing up stereotypes, and getting a rise out of people.

yknot

Since you are already feeling the "shunning" process I suggest you write a letter of disassociation. This way you avoid all the JC stuff and all the drama it incurs. Those who want to have contact with you will, and those who don't won't.

Y

tula

aren't there some scriptures concerning gossip ? I think I would look up those scriptures and quote each one on a nice card and send it to all my friends.

Scriptures about controlling the tongue and damage gossip causes. I would back everything with scripture to my friends. Then ask them...who do they serve...the God of the bible or the wbts church tattletales?

faundy

My family all left in 2003, apart from one older sister who ignores me because of the gay thing. I don't like living the gay stereotype and that's part of my argument. I'm still femme, don't declare my sexuality to everyone, I just prefer women physically and am totally in love with my girlfriend. I just can't see why it's such a bad thing; it feels so natural.

bluesbreaker59

Sorry I just meant to do that if you decide to go meet with the elders... I'd love to see their shocked looks. Just like I wear different stuff when I'm onstage to attract people's attention.

Uzzah

It is tough to give out advice about such a personal decision.

Just remember that the elders have no more authority over you than what you allow them to have. They have no right to know anything about you, your life, your choices nor your sexuality.

For your jw friends, just let them know that you are interested in keeping their friendship but it is up to them. If they want to be your friend excellent but if they are going to be spies for a bunch of power-tripping old men, that too is their choice. You'll miss them but respect their choice.

It is tough letting go of a former way of life and the people that go with it, but if it means personal freedom, enjoyment of life and better quality of life for you, then stick it through and enjoy the benefits of your decision.

But I do want to repeat one thing Elders have no authority over you except what you give to them.

Good luck and let us know how things progress.

Paralipomenon

Meh, just ignore him. You're out, your family is out, why give them the satisfaction of them "cleansing the fold".

He has no power over you, let him burn himself out chasing the nasty apostate. No doubt he wants to be on a Judicial Committee that involves lesbian practices.

eclipse

I just prefer women physically and am totally in love with my girlfriend. I just can't see why it's such a bad thing; it feels so natural.

That's because it is beautiful and natural.

You are under no obligation to see the PO.

Ignore him.

If they hound you, tell them you are no longer under their authority, and to leave you alone.

If you want to tell them to their face, then DA yourself, but you don't have to play by their rules.

Live your life your way, it sounds like you are sticking by your principles, and that's what's important.

faundy

Thanks Uzzah; I have been gone over a year but recently more things are coming to their attention and they want to talk to me about it. I just want to know why they're so interested in my sexuality, I think it's quite perverse. I'm not in contact with anyone apart from the sister I mentioned before but even she has been told not to have anything to do with me, and that if I text her or contact her then she has to report what she knows. I'm scared to disassociate myself and to be honest I don't see the point as I've not been for so long.

Advice Needed

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