Life and times of Metaspy

by metaspy 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • franzy

    really well written, metaspy. and if you can pour out a story
    like that in about two hours, then you have a gift.

    thanks so much for sharing.
    as someone else on this forum said, they have "obscene" control over lives.


  • metaspy

    Thank you Nathan. I am trying to get away from reliance on brothers.
    I have my resume out to other employers, and I am going to look for living quarters closer to whatever business hires me.
    I have already attended college and have a degree. No sweat there!

    Zelda and I have crossed paths recently, she is still suicidal. However, she is still in the borg.
    If I could help her, I would. At this moment she is attached to someone and I cannot do anything in particular.

    thank you Franzy for the compliment. I actually thought it was very choppy.
    I even left out quite a bit as it was late. Reading through it now, I know I will have to make a second chapter.
    Perhaps in a couple weeks when I have more time.

  • franzy

    i didn't say it was perfect!!!
    however, you have a way with words that invites me to read your story.
    a flair for the narrative.
    i look forward to more.

  • metaspy

    thanks still for the compliment.
    One thing that has always driven me crazy about this situation is the lack of belief that it happened.
    I have told other Elders of what happened and they will say "that is your view, I am sure it was not like that".
    It is one of the reasons that it will never be handled, the PO is too good at spinning a situation.
    He can say, "he misunderstood what I meant when I said I was not sorry and never be sorry. What I meant was, sorry I hurt you."
    and the person listening would say, "Metaspy must have been completely stupid to miss that."

  • SnakesInTheTower


    I get discounted rent for being a pio.

    so they have a hook in your jaw....Too bad for that.... I hope you can make your "time" in the ministry count........lots of phantom time, knocking on empty houses, etc.

    Hope you can use your degree for something more useful than pioneering..... besides, you have an Apostacruise to save for I dont think you can be fader and go...I guess I better get moving on my fade.

    wish you well.....

    Snakes (...)

  • bluebell

    ow a discounted rent for pioneering. thats tough. make up the hours - they lie to you, its only scriptural warfare to lie straight back!

    i wish you good luck in your search for other work and accomodation, it's a good job you have education to help.

  • Highlander

    I would like to suggest that you try to build a relationship with your father. If you told him that you now realize you are trapped in a cult and need assistance, would he help you? His response might surprise you and he may welcome you with open arms.

    In the coming months or years you will need a new support system, new friends, new family. Worst case scenario as you know, will be losing everything that you currently have. Please prepare yourself accordingly, and I can't overstate my feelings that you should try and build a new relationship with your dad. I think he could be a huge asset for you.

  • blueviceroy

    Remember God feeds the birds? What is the value of a man if not infinitly greater . You will be fine on your . If you can eat and sleep in a safe place you will be ok . If Im not mistaken you are young and intelligent you will have no trouble making your way in the secular world. Reliability and honesty are in fairly limited supply and if you can show up for work every day that is a plus . At one point in my life I lived in a tent and had no car but I knew it would'nt last forever. Dont fear the loss of all you have it is easily replacible especially if you do it on YOUR terms . A support group can be found in the newspaper in the local section and if you live in even a modest sized metropolitan area you will most likely find what you need . Good luck making your way in the world. Finding your own purpose in life is what life is about. When others give the purpose it doesn't really feal like a purpose it feels like a duty and doody is joyless.

  • truthsearcher

    Hi Metaspy:

    Thanks for sharing your story. It is such a sad one! The behaviour of your mother and the elders is incredible to behold, and yet time after time, so many on JWD have shared similar stories!

    Immediately I thought of that famous saying of how the disciples and true followers of Jesus would be recognizable--by their love. How do the actions of the Witnesses hold up under close examination?

    Let's look at 1 Corinthians 13--the great "love" chapter

    The Greatest Gift

    1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, [ a ] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
    4 Love suffers longandis kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
    8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
    11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
    13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

    Did the elders behaviour toward you display these qualities? Did they believe the best or the worst about you and your intentions? Were they kind and gentle with you? Were they patient?

    The answer is obvious--the true followers of Jesus are known by love, and it is NOT an identifying mark of the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Now, let me digress and make some comments as the parent of beautiful daughters who have looked and acted much older than they were, and hence attracted the attention of older guys. In fact, it has happened so many times that I am inclined to thing that guys are really poor judges of age when it comes to girls.

    I do understand the concerns that there are certain dangers that could result from a relationship between older guy/younger girl. I have dealt with this a number of times by making the guys wait until my daughters were older to spend time together. We are afraid that our hopelessly romantic girls will fall head over heels before they are emotionally mature enough to make good decisions. We worry about them being hurt, or taken advantage of, and their purity being compromised. We know what 18-20 year guys think about, and we want to protect our daughters. I can only imagine that this is what your mum was concerned about too. But this is a PARENT thing, not an ELDER situation. Your description of what took place was so heavy-handed, so distrusting and accusative, so meddlesome and so hurtful to you.

    I am sorry that this happened, and yet I am glad that God has used it to open your eyes to the cult that you have been trapped in all these years. I recommend visiting some pastors on your pioneering field visits and spending time with them, reading the Bible without the WT spin. Put in your hours if you must, but make it a spiritually freeing time, rather than peddling the WT false teachings.

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Thanks for sharing your story Metaspy.

    instead trusting myself to find the truth.

    Trusting yourself is a big step. We've been taught for so long to trust the organization, elders etc, it's hard to sometimes make that leap and trust ourselves. Good for you!


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