I struggle.
How good are your SOCIAL SKILLS?
by nicolaou 24 Replies latest social relationships
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nicolaou
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Sad emo
Me too!!
I think we all do to different extents. Maybe if we all spent less time worrying about how others see us and started just being ourselves, it might not be such a struggle - but it's easier said than done
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RAF
Yeah be yourself (what else can you be?) also the only one who can change you is you (from experience)
That said I'm not good in social skills myself, but guess what? I DON'T F*king CARE!!! ... Most of people like me and at the same time they don't (it seems like I'm a paradox) Mind you, I can live with that ...
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KW13
I can really struggle to find common ground with some people and with others i dont. I like to be able to listen and have something to say, i like to be able to have a deep conversation and i hate small talk in real life. At one point i really loved talking to people when i left the witnesses, it was almost a passion in itself but slowly i withdrew bit by bit when i realised i had so much to learn about the world.
Witnesses think they are in their element when they are out and about, talking to people - actually, its the people you meet who aren't witnesses who come into their own and really know what they are on about, for once i found myself within a real topic with real consequences and real actions, frightening.
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nicolaou
i like to be able to have a deep conversation and i hate small talk in real life
It's not that I hate small talk, I'm just so crap at it! My wife can chat to our neighbours over the garden fence or in the street for as long as time allows maybe an hour or more. At the end of it I wonder what the hell there was to talk about for so long? What's happened since the last time they yakked for an hour the previous evening?
I suck sometimes.
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Scully
Yeah, I struggle too.
Cultivating friendships doesn't come easily.
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changeling
I think there's a difference between "social skills" and developing friendships.
I feel I have excellent social skills.
I am open and friendly.
I can "take the emotional temperature" of a person or group, thus allowing me to speak to them on a variety of subjects w/o offending.
But friendships...that's another matter.
I currently am on friendly terms with many people but count none of them as a friend.
The older and busier I get the harder it is to have a real friendship.
changeling
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BrentR
I was very shy as a kid but by the time I was in high school I had several good experiences that boosted my confidence. Right out of high school I trained as an firefighter/EMT. That career gave me alot of people skills by dealing with very sick, anxious and injured people. So dealing with people that are not sick or injured became a piece of cake.
My career now puts me in a room with another person for an hour. That is a textbook exercise in being able to start and maintain a conversation with anyone. Because I do not have eye contact with these people my language has evolved to be very descriptive.
Being a very deep listener and not ever interrupting someone is crucial. Right now I am still honing my skills in asking enough questions to show interest or concern but not so many as to sound nosey or prying. That seems to be a very fine line sometimes.
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eclipse
Because I do not have eye contact with these people my language has evolved to be very descriptive.
I was just curious...why don't you have eye contact with those people?
Being a very deep listener and not ever interrupting someone is crucial. Right now I am still honing my skills in asking enough questions to show interest or concern but not so many as to sound nosey or prying. That seems to be a very fine line sometimes.
You got it, Brent, That is the secret to successful interaction with others in a social setting.
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BrentR
I am a massage therapist so they are face down on a table. They don't have eye contact either so by being a good listener they realize that what they are saying is being heard. Without that understanding thier stress level goes up and then I have to work harder.