does this mean i miss them still?

by Missanna 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    MIssanna- There is a book I read by a guy named Frederick Perls a well known psychologist who conducted dreamwork seminars at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur California on the coast in the 1970's. He wrote a book called, " Gestalt Therapy Verbatim ". His theory is what we dream about is unfinished situations in our lives. Stuff we haven't come to grips with or dealt with or closed off in our life. Thus his take is it was hard for us to move on in the future with our past experiences waying us down emotionally. So he had these people act out their dreams in the present tense or like they are experiencing it now, so they would more readily discover and accept the meaning of their dreams. It was very interesting, if you ever would like to read it. It might help. It helped me understand some things about myself. Peace to you, Mr. Flipper

  • changeling

    We never stop wanting acceptance form our parents. Sad but true.

    Hang in there,


  • educ8self

    Not never, but the vast majority of people - probably like 99.999999%. I am curious as to whether it is more JW related or a family thing, though.

  • GentlyFeral

    Nobody has yet commented on the part of the dream that I found most interesting: your mother criticizes you, not for being a worldling, but for being too fat. In other words, for taking up too much space, for being too "big," too noticeable, impossible to miss or ignore. After all, in the dream, you said you gained weight because you were "so much happier now!" -- which is not the kind of thing we're used to hearing in waking life. It is no longer possible for you to revert to the ideal self-effacing, mousy JW woman.

    You went back to the people -- and social/religious context -- that shaped you, and demanded respect. And, as you already knew, it did not work. But you had to try, because respect is every human's birthright.

    gently feral

  • bigdreaux

    oh, guys, btw, missanna is not fat at all. i found that part of the dream weird too. she has curves, but, is not fat at all.

  • journey-on

    Regarding the reference to being fat: There's a saying that when you are happy and content, you gain weight. In the dream, Missanna wants her mother to acknowledge that she is happy and content with her life as it is. She wants her to realize that the changes in her life are to be seen as positive ones, not negative ones like her mother thinks.

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    Wow Misanna. Example: I've had reeeaally stressful financial situations and I've never dreamt about them. . .but my family whom I've had to count among the dead for their disowning me, I dream about. Just like grieving for the dead, I miss them more all the time, I admit it. My mother has called me fat and a drug addict and alcoholic and a satan worshipper, etc. But I, more than ever lately, dream about all of us together at one of my sister's homes for one of their anniversaries, real past events, and we're all laughing and doing kareoke and happy until someone says, 'You don't belong here.'

    I'm not a cryer, but I've awakened sobbing several times while dreaming this. It sucks. Admitting that I need them and miss them is as vital to my health and sanity as acknowledging that they are GONE.

    Thank you for sharing your situation and feelings. It helps me to know how others are dealing.

  • Cicatrix

    Good points Journey On and Gently Feral!

    Hi Missana,

    Perhaps you miss the family you never had but wish you did. I think that's a VERY familiar motif with children from dysfunctional families, and it's healthy to want that!

    In Jungian dream theory, a sister can represent YOU-how you felt at that age, or your vulnerable feelings now.Being killed can represent a situation that is "killing" your sense of self-confidence or self identity.A balconey can represent a wider viewpoint of something.Could you be feeling that your family's condemnation over your new wider view of the world is killing your self-identity?

    I had many dreams/nightmares like this when I left the WTS five years ago. I wrote them down in a dream journal with as much detail as I could as soon as I woke up (including colors, etc). I used my own sense of what they meant, along with a Jungian dream dictionary to help me analyze them (take a look through some dream dictionaries and see which ones seem to resonate with you-I don't totally agree with all of Jung's theories, but for some reason, his dream theories do seem to work for me). It took a period of time for me to be able to decipher each dream (one of them took over a year to figure out), and the dreams actually changed over time. I do believe the dreams were helping me to deal with what was happening to me at that time,so don't worry too much about trying to force yourself to deal with this-you are, in a way and time frame you can handle.If you are REALLY having a difficult time, I do recommend that you see a mental health practitioner, though.

  • sweetstuff

    Hi Missanna,

    sounds to me like this dream is simply about the pain you need to deal with, the pain of knowing you haven't received unconditional love from your family, one many here can relate to. Approval is one thing, wanting your family's love is another. It's only natural that your brain will play out these scenarios while you sleep because it's trying to find some logical way to deal with the hurt you are suffering. I would suggest writing a letter to your mom, before you head off to sleep,say everything you need to say, even if you never send it to her, just writing it and pouring out your pain and hurt can have is own cathardic relief. See if it helps ward off these kind of dreams. Hope your dreams of future are pleasant ones versus painful ones.

Share this