by Bumble Bee 41 Replies latest jw experiences
I would have to say a dysfunctional family most def....Im learning more and more about my dad through my aunty, and he is one messed up man due to family history.
In a lot of ways my dad needs the religion to keep him somewhat subdued if you get what I mean.
But a lot of his actions were hightened by the cult esp him being a Elder we wernt allowed to do a lot of things, and he was always checking up on us making sure we wernt ruining his postion.
es
We wont go into my issues.
LOL!
I just want to say that you've helped so many here with your kindness and care.
It's wonderful that you're taking care of yourself now.
All the best to you, friend!
Weird but as I reflect back I have come to the conclusion my growing up in a dysfunctional family helped me from being a die hard JW and therefore it was easier for me to leave the B'org.
I didn't like being in either. I remember the first time I heard that self help guru of the 80's John Bradshaw speak and say something like; "as children in a dysfunctional family we didn't have the choice to tell our parents we would rather move down the street to the Jones house, they seem more normal." Wow that really connected with me I was always looking for normal, sigh. I've since learned NORMAL is a setting on a dryer.
bikerchick - we were never diehard JW's either, dad didn't go the the meetings for years and years (pretty much until I was in my 30's before he started going back), I really didn't have any problems leaving, actually it was a relief to me. Loved the dryer comment!! BB
I would have to say the religion.
My parents were pretty decent parents. Never fought, or atleast us kids didn't hear it. They gave us children a pretty good model of a healthy relationship. Then again they were what I call liberal JW's. They didn't force us to go in field service very often. We had "worldy" friends. They were often to busy with real life issues to consistantly have a family bible study (or maybe just not commited enough-spitually weak). Looking back I see now that the few things that were jacked up were caused by the cult mentality.
But just being taken to those 5 meetings a week hearing all that trash for more than 17 years...that's been my real damage:
Don't go to school. Don't question things. Don't trust people.etc. " 'WE' are the truth, the way and the life."
I have resentment toward the cult (it speaks in the name of God) so had more seeming power ,,my parents became victims, I can forgive them but not the religion/cult.
I've got a great family. It's the cult that F'd it all up.
For me, the cult social life and hope was a relief from the darkness and overbearing pressure w my parents.
S
I think that the cult contributed to the dysfunction in my family. One, my father never was a believer. This alone put a strain on an already unhappy marriage. And when two people stay in a troubled marriage "for the sake of the kids" it's never a good thing.
My father also was an unbeliever and that is what caused major dysfunction in my family. Also being in a weird family situation (my father having been involved with my mother's sister and had children with her) and then both being immigrant and barely literate. 3 stikes against me all before I even came into this planet. Damn.
Why do you always ask these hard questions?
My dysfunctional family was bad enough.
Then, when I was 5 years old they decided to reject Christianity and join a cult.
My entire journey from 5 until 50 was affected by this crap so much that I frequently ask God to help me to not harbor resentment because they allowed a bunch of frauds to screw not only their lives up but also the lives of their 8 kids.
The cult made denial of every other "pink elephant in the room" easy.
The cult mentality that says, 'we're alright because of jehobo's blessings,' allows the denial to go on endlessly, and discourages dysfunctional people from getting the psychological, emotional, or psychiatric support they would ordinarily seek if faced with the possibility of an intervention from the outside world, which is perceived as the enemy of jehobo's people. The cult definitely exacerbates every problem my family has.
I am amazed at how many people on this thread have freely and unequivocally used the term "cult." I think this signifies much healing here.
