Fading? What's up?

by arker 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Cellist,

    My reason exactly for the fade! My fade wasn't exactly slow but it wasn't sudden, either. I was neglected out and then felt the need to see why others quit. After that, it was much easier to stop associating all together.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Manhas,

    Sorry for your terrible experience, but not every child has one nearly as bad as yours. The courts take special notice of children in divorce proceedings and typically don't want to add to the disruption of their lives any more than has been done. They tend to keep kids where their daily routines are as consistent as possible and that means not ripping kids from their religion if there is no PROOF that that religion has been hurting them. They look at all angles and make, in their opinion, the best ruling for the children. The kids' way of life should go on as uninterrupted as possible. That is why trying to get your kids out of a religion they have been involved in from birth is definately not a goal of most judges in divorce proceedings. They can smell bloodlust from both parties and watch for any hate stories.

  • BFD
    BFD
    manhas -in spite of the traditional mother-custody advantage, any lawyer worth their salt could easily prove a no blood transfusion, child molester apologist, cult member mother was less fit than the non-cult father.

    Open mind,

    I hate cults.

    BFD

  • changeling
    changeling

    manhas: This cult has hurt us all in different ways.

    None of us needs the added pain of your judmental attitude.

    While we may not all agree on this issue (I have my questions about those who remain elders), we don't need to attack each other.

    A little compasion, and understanding that we don't always understand goes a long way.

    changeling

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    Manhas the courts don't favor non jws over jws in custody cases. My poor husband was initially given over to his non jw dad, then after he was settled and perfectly happy his mother contested, and as she was in a stable relationship with an elder and her dr gave her alot of help in court etc, she won him and his bro back, so that hubby could only go to dads for main holidays. He would have been better off where he was initially he was surrounded by love with his auntie and grandparents but there was alot of jw twisting of things and half truths said, tws i guess? And this was after she'd left him home alone when he was a toddler and left him behind for his dad to find him.

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    My main reason for not DA'ing is because of family members. It's not like I don't want to DA sometimes ... I do think about doing it, but it may be doing more harm than good in my case. I did a more or less sudden and complete fade - no more FS, meetings etc.

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    manhas...

    if you are childless go at it! stay in as long as you like. worship the spagetti monster if you like! but if you have children, and dont even believe in that JW garbage, exposing them to that level of danger for a single day is inexcuseable.

    i dont have children but if i did have children I sure as hell would not just "yank" them out of the religion because, as others here have already stated, there is no guarantee that the kids would be on the outside of the cult.... but there IS a guarantee that I would be ..and maybe without them....

    so, before you continue with your very JW-like judgemental rhetoric, maybe you should think, think again, and think a third time...you can give the advise.....no problem...but without the judgmental attitude that you obviously have. If your advice worked in your situation and you got the kids out...FUC#ING YAAY FOR YOU!

    Maybe the rest of those here trying to fade want their kids around and will have to fake worshipping the "spaghetti monster" as you say...to guarantee a spot in their lives where maybe, just maybe, those fading JW parents will have the opportunity to influence their kids to think for themselves so when the time comes the kids can walk away from the cult on their own...knowing their fading parent was there for them all along...sacrificing personal beliefs for them.....

    sometimes we have to throw ourselves under the WT Bus for those we love...... doesnt always make sense, but then neither does the cult. Parents do a lot of things that dont make sense to anyone that is not a parent.... parents usually recognize that kind of love and sacrifice...and appreciate it.

    SnakesInTheTower (of the "climbing down off the soap box now" Sheep Class)

  • Threestars
    Threestars

    I, too, suffered horribly growing up in the WT cult. But I totally understand the reluctance of some to do a quick DF or DA when there are beloved children or grandchildren involved. I've known too many people who have lost all contact with their children and grandchildren, my poor brother included. Everyone's circumstances are different.

  • Hermano
    Hermano

    Folks, the Bible doesn't offer any clear guidance on this issue. As such, it is a conscience matter. No one should be judged. In the end, we shall all be judged individually, before God's throne.

    Seriously, I appreciate the people that remain on the inside after they Awake! They perform a valuable service to the community. First, they keep those of us who cannot stomach to sit through the meetings informed. That's important to me cause my wife is still inside. I need to know what bullsh!t they have fed her recently, but there's no way in hell I can take more than about 5 minutes meeting time. The people who are still on the inside are able to provide us with that information.

    Second, some of them are willing to help others on the inside (family members or not) to discover the truth. So even though they appear to be supporting the beast, they are in fact, working to destroy it. Even if all they're doing is creating extra work for the hounders, or being no-shows for their talk, it is still disruptive.

    Lastly, maybe some are hedging their bets. It's strategy. I defenetly don't want to live in the new world, cause I think it would be boring as hell under the Jehovah regime. But maybe some can be happy there. So what if they are living a watered down version of the truth? If they can get away with it and enjoy living in a paradise on earth, good for them! Enjoy the abundance of fruit, but you won't be able to masturbate!! What's wrong with hedging your bets?

    (This thread is already a couple of days old. Is anyone reading this? Cause I just spent quite a bit of time on this post....)

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