Fading? What's up? (page 2)

nvrgnbk

Another reason one might wish to fade instead of just up and leaving or disassociating is to waste their time and resources trying to track you.

You kill me, man!

I love the way you think.

shopaholic

The shame is for the one that stays in even though they know it's wrong, and stays active and regular.

Everyone is different but its difficult to understand how folks can continue in the ministry and give parts from the platform when they know its all a lie (or most of it anyway). Going to the meetings for a slow fade is understandable but wasting your time on the extra credit stuff that doesn't count anyway is a shame. I never knew how wonderful saturday mornings could be!

purplesofa

hey

welcome to the board

what does your nickname mean?

purps

arker

It has to do with the Ark builder, not Arkansas

Paralipomenon

Everybody approaches things in a manner that works for them. I'm sure there is no "right" way. It all depends on people's families, congregation and situation in life.

changeling

I faded. Or to be more exact: I dropped out. Quit FS as soon as I learned about the UN issue and then over the next few months went to fewer and fewer meetings.Now I don't go at all, but technically I'm "in good standing".

Why don't I DA? I would lose contact with my family. If you have children you'll understand what I'm saying.

Please don't judge others, we all have different circumstances and personalities.

changeling

Sassy

I just stopped going.. no one bothered to find out why

delilah

I stopped going.......that was 9 and a half years ago. I know what it's like to be df'd, twice over. Will not let them have that kind of power over me again.

I have peace of mind, the elders know that I will not be going back, and they don't bother me.

The only ones who pressure me from time to time, are my parents....but I can handle them.

dobbie

well i d'ad but am lucky that i have a great non jw family to help me through. If i had grown up kids in it though i would probably still be in (weakly), even now i worry about my little boy growing up becoming a jw and shunning me! Hubby has been fading as his family are in on one side, though they have never been close or nice to him,just a bunch of users. I can see the time when he will leave as hes currently v bitter and angry at me getting shunned etc. He says though that he doesn't see why he should go to them, let them waste time if they want and come to him. Anyway i faded on and off for years but in the end couldn't live a lie anymore and was told several times i was a selfish murderer and my kids would die at big A cos of me if i left, that was the decider as i don't take kindly to emotional blackmail.

As for others that fade i can totally see why they would, the thought of leaving it for good and shunning is so hard emotionally and the reality for me was'nt as scary as i thought but i still have very bad days. If they can't handle being in it to keep touch with their loved ones or to help others out of it i really commend them for it cos it must actually be v hard and really horrible for them.

Open mind

These words from Wannaexit are why I continue to be a "coward" (at least in WT Wizard's book).

Wannaexit said on another recent thread:

*************************************** (BEGIN QUOTE)

My husband was quite careful not to give himself away. I knew something was up with him by his indirect comments and his views of the org. I knew his heart was not in it any longer and I knew he had "apostate leanings" but I had no concrete evidence to present to the elders.

I did make an appointment with theCO once because I felt he wasn't spiritual enough. We had this meeting together and he played the CO really well and the CO really liked him and soon after he was appointed.

But I always threatened him that if I found out he was an "apostate" I would take the children and leave him. But he was so careful not to let himself be found and he continued to be a loving husband and father.

Had I found a COC in our home, that would have been the ammo I needed. But I never found apostate literature at home. He kept his stash at work. He had even exchanged the covers of Ray's books with other so that no one at work would know what he was reading.

My husband went through great lengths to keep our family intact. I have great respect for him and feel ashamed of what watchtower almost did to my marriage.

wanna
(END OF QUOTE) ********************************************

As judgemental as the goads from WT Wizard and others may feel to me at times, they are a good reminder to make sure that my blows are not landing on air (to use a Paulism).

Thanks for the thread. And thanks WT Wizard and others for calling it like you see it.

Open Mind

Fading? What's up?

Share this