Apology for raising children in the Truth (page 2)

ness

oh, I've ask and still continue to ask for apologies from the rents. it'll never happen.

Nobody got a perfect parent! We five kids were raised in JWdom also. Dad was all the way with it, "as for me and my household, we will serve Jehovah!" Four of us pioneered and also went to Bethel (late 60's and through 70's). Much to Dad's chagrin, after leaving Bethel and gradually became inactive we "kids" were not under the 'spell' of JW world. Dad questioned us (and with some arguments too) and in the early 80's we had contact with others questioning and leaving around then too & when in the early 80's, Ray Franz wrote "Crises of Conscience", Dad was willing to read it. Shortly, after that Dad was disfellowshipped for apostasy. I realize that Mom & Dad were also victims of the mind-control cult and they meant well. I can only forgive them and I look back how the WT Society only makes parenting even harder (which is aggravating, when very, very few of their leaders - GB, DOs and COs, positioned Bethelites are so clueless to parenting reality). I raised my 5 children, free of the WT, I had no illusion that the WT heavy burden and extra rules were not going to be helpful to a parent nor their children in the long run. Take care.

Sassy

yeah I have apologized to my kids too.. you know we did what we thought was right.. just as possibly our parents did for us..

We thought we were saving their lives.. if we had a clue what it was really about, we would have given them different childhoods.. ones with some freedoms outside the box..

but we can't change the past. I don't know that my apology meant anything to my kids.. In some ways it probably did more for me..

Scully

When we first decided to leave the JWs, my eldest was 8 years old, and he believed it was The Truth™ at that time. His first question was whether I thought Brother So-and-so would mind driving him to the meetings instead.

We sat him down and told him that moms and dads usually do what they think is right, and when they make a mistake - even if it's something big - the right thing to do is to change it and say we're sorry. We made a mistake thinking that Jehovah's Witnesses were right, because we've learned that they made a lot of huge mistakes and never apologized for them. We don't want to be like that.

His next question was could he have a party for his next birthday.

sammielee24

I would - probably both verbally and in writing.

At least your kids aren't attending any longer which means they are somewhat da'd - they might still have some lingering faith in the organization but perhaps an apology and admission of your changed beliefs would end any lingering faith. I know kids of df'd parents who have to this day refused any contact - verbal or written from their parents - so they will never accept an apology of any form. If they never get out, they will never have a relationship again - thanks to the directions from the society. sammieswife.

Mum

I have apologized over and over to my only daughter. The damage is done. We're working through issues all the time. Deep down, I think she hates me. It's hard to separate JW issues from others. There is a lot of mental illness in our non-JW family (there are very few JW's in our family), and it affects us, too.

I just try to be here for her when she needs support. More than that I cannot do.

Regards,

SandraC

jeanne40love

Thanks everyone. I'm pleased to say that my adult children are fine with everything. Thankfully they didn't subject themselves to this whole experience much longer then while living at home. My eldest says his head is clear, he holds no grudges, and is fine with how he was raised. My daughter was baptized at 15 and has not ever really had a grasp of the whole "religious experience" she is moving on also.

Our youngest is doing fine, we are trying to be normal loving caring parents giving sold direction to benefit her for her future...and yes I mean college.

: O)

B_Deserter

I don't harbor any ill will toward my parents. They think they did the right thing.

dogisgod

My mother started studing when I was 6 mos old. 1951. I was immersed in it until I was 36 and had a big epiphany. My mother is now 88 and "the truth" is all encompasing for her. Her greatest dream is for me to go back to meetings (my brothers are not included in this. She thinks they will skate into the "New System" holding on to her skirts as a reward to her faithful service). Yesterday, her doctor told me she has inoperable lung cancer. We will be going to an oncologist to find out exactly what kind. I doubt that she will opt for treatment as it is very advanced. Chemo is out as is surgery. I know that as she gets worse I will have to live with her to care for her as well as getting help from hospice. This will involve taking her to the meetings. I will do this for her and it will be hard for me to keep my mouth shut when the rediculous spews at the mentally unchallenged group. I have no desire to cause problems or be disrespectful of their meetings. They do have free choice. I simply will do this for my mom. I used to be mad that she raised me in "the truth" although my brothers had total latitude (they are very screwed up guys) but you just have to get past that and let it go. You know life is such a roll of the dice, you could have been born a woman in Afganistan and NEVER see the light of day mentally. Since leaving the organization I have studied a lot about religion and history. This helped me greatly and also gave me an outlet for "studying and research" time I did for the meetings...with much better outcome.

I give kids until they are 26 to blame their parents then they should get off their little asses and get their own life in gear. Unless they do that they will remain emotional cripples and refusing to take responsibility for their own actions.

You can apologise for ever but unless they really want to grow up and out it is up to them.

greendawn

I can't see why a verbal apology on such an issue between parents and children wouldn't be enough, in fact the parents aren't even aware how harmful this cult can be for children growing up (as well as adults). Otherwise they wouldn't be in it in the first place. They got duped.

Apology for raising children in the Truth